It's Grace

Everyday my reckless decisions unleash more opportunities to become attuned to God's grace toward me; to realize His generosity toward me when I have done NOTHING to deserve it. Actually, I've done everything to incur His hatred, punishment and damnation. There is truly nothing good in me!
In His righteous judgment, I deserve to stumble and perish, to sink in the pit I have made, to catch my foot in the net in which I've been hiding, to be caught in the work of my own hands (from Psalm 9).
Holed up during the arctic blast, we watched movies and had conversations about character's attitudes toward God and their rebellion. Instead of turning to God for purpose and satisfaction they turned to sex, drugs and alcohol. In my rebellion, I tend to turn to food. Yet because of His grace, Jesus says, "You don't have to stay there. Come to Me."

And those who know your name put their trust in you,
for you, O Lord, have not forgotten those who seek you. Psalm 9:10

Because I Come to Him, He awards forgiveness toward my rebellion and all the wickedness and evil propensities in me are replaced with Jesus' perfect righteousness. I trust that's what Jesus did for me. I am reminded of this when I clean up the smudges, crumbs and goo from my little guy's face.
It's typical for me to categorize the wicked as crooked politicians, shrewd businessmen, drug dealers and traffickers, but I am wicked. The ONLY thing that differentiates me from "them" is my choice to come as Jesus invites!
Pray that more would come to Jesus and do not neglect to thank Him for His undeserved grace toward you. 

What's enough?

For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them. Ephesians 2:10

This is why we were created: to show the world God's goodness. But when I think of being God's handiwork, I wonder what's enough?
Struggling with certainty in my roles, I wonder if I am suppose to do more outside or even within these four walls (our family's home). I know I'm called to do the urgent within these walls, just as the engineer is called to provide for his family, but am I missing a call or ministry outside (or from within) these walls?
I've heard over and over, give yourself grace the first year with baby. Heck, I've preached this message myself, but something in me can't help but wonder if I'm missing a work for which God has made me. What about other goals or ministries: freelance graphics; writing; intentional bedtime prayers, hugs and chitchats; date nights; relationships with unbelievers; volunteering at church...? Every time I attempt to add one of these, I get overwhelmed.

But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ—by grace you have been saved— and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, so that in the coming ages he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, Ephesians 2:4-8

I am God's creation gone wild and then by His goodness alone, reclaimed because of my faith in Jesus' perfect offering of Himself in place of my life. And God did this for His glory and my good joy. He gets glory when I show the world how good and kind He is.
Whatever I do, has to show God's grace to the "world" in which I'm sitting. Show them that I am nothing and God in His mercy, love, riches, and kindness, gave me a gift: salvation, joy, peace and contentment (just to name a few).
Today, I need to wear His salvation "on my sleeve" for all in my sphere of influence to see. I have to believe that this is enough work. It's gotta be; it's all I got most days!
How can I do this while pursuing other ministries or life goals? I need to be real. The people I meet along the way have to know who I was before God's grace gift to really know His infinite rich grace to me and that it is also available to them. They have to know how rebellious and sneaky I was as a teenager, wanting to fit in with the world and yet have a good face on Sunday. They need to know how self-righteous I was in college, thinking I could gain God's favor through my own self discipline and depravation. They need to know I was a nervous, sleepless wreck last night and God in His goodness gave me peace in the morning. Everyone I meet today, needs to know that the same God who rescued me from who I was before wants to rescue them. He wants to show them mercy, love, generosity and kindness. It's never too late and He never says never.
So what's enough work? Well, we can set out with big goals, but achievement is secondary to showing people the patience and goodness of Jesus along the way.
No matter the goal of your work, what is one way you can show or tell those in your sphere of influence today God's goodness toward you and how in His kindness, He gave you a grace gift and it's changed who you are today.

Screaming

As I stepped outside into the winter air to start the grill, I thanked God that He caused the ignition switch to work so I didn't have to hunt down matches, try light the gas grill in the cold wind and thus delaying dinner which needs to be completed on a tight schedule so our family is punctual for evening activities. Is it unspiritual for me to think that a grill ignition switch is something for which to be thankful? I've been conducting a little experiment this week: tracking my attitude and my thought patterns throughout the day, then seeing how they relate.
As I returned inside from preheating the grill, I noticed how calm and peaceful I was before a busy night. Indeed, I think choosing to thank Jesus for the little gift of a working ignition switch rather just chalking it up to good luck is giving God glory and it changes my attitude to one of joy and peace.

For the mind set on the flesh is death, but the mind set on the Spirit is life and peace. Romans 8:6
Set your mind on things that are above, not on things that are on earth. Colossians 3:2 

One way, among many, to set my mind toward things of the Spirit (yielding life and peace) is practicing thanksgiving. Paul commands thankfulness in all circumstances to the church in Thessalonica (1 Thessalonians 5:18).
However, I admit that I'm not good at thanking Jesus for a screaming baby. Just a day ago, our 12-week old decided he would have nothing to do with cuddling before nap time. Nothing! Squirm, squirm, cry, scream. Set him in his crib and within minutes, he's soothing himself to sleep. Thinking on this later (not in the moment) I realized that this is new found independence for him is a gift. Yes, it comes with screaming, but he already wants to do something on his own. So thank you Jesus for a self-soothing, sleeping baby.
She's mad. I'm steaming. She's stuck in a rut with a new song on the violin. Stinkin' rhythm, staccato, accents, quarter notes, eighth notes. It's hard. I think she wants help, so I offer. This has only made the situation worse. Leaving the room and leaving her to herself, I continue listening (honestly, I'm still steaming) as she works through the piece. However, at times I can tell she's figuring it out. On her own. Thank you Jesus for nine-year-olds learning the violin.
She hates to enter new places by herself. She loves the comfort of momma beside her. But lugging a carseat in and out isn't exactly fun or easy and she knows it. When I drop her off at her appointment she asks, "Going in myself?" "Yes, please," I plead. And she bounds out the door. Thank you Jesus for twelve-year olds who can (and will) go by themselves.
"Are you sure you don't want someone to go over it with you?" both mom and dad have asked the middle schooler before her next math test. Lately, the engineer hasn't been helping her with any homework but she simply says, "I got it." As parents, we choose to let her go and trust her work ethic. Days later when she delivered the news: 100% on the test, we celebrated with her. Thank you Jesus for her discernment and confidence.
All these  prayers of thanksgiving are really thanking God for my children moving toward independence. Independent children are a gift.

Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, are the children of one's youth. Psalm 127:4

Arrows aren't meant to stay in the quiver or case, they are meant to go out. Our little (and not so little anymore) golden heads aren't meant to stay in our fold forever, but to go out into the world and spread the gospel. These prayers of gratitude for the little things are really prayers of thanksgiving for a bigger gift of independence. Independent children are a gift.
So on second thought, I will thank God for the screaming baby.
What circumstance in your life seems less than ideal? Sassy children, lying co-workers, broken dishwasher, waiting for surgery, the mundane day-to-day? Will you choose to find gratitude somewhere in that? In Corrie TenBoom's The Hiding Place, she tells the story of her sister, Betsy, thanking God for fleas. Later, the sisters realize it is because of the fleas, the Nazi guards let them have Bible Study and prayer in their bunk beds with other prisoners. Betsy chose to thank God for the circumstance in her life and in the bigger picture, the miserable circumstance was a gift. If you choose to offer prayers of thanksgiving, maybe like me with the screaming baby, you'll see the larger gift.

I'm pleased to report the baby boy found a new pacifier he likes and will occasionally let me cuddle him before naps. Thank you Jesus for pacifiers too!

Vitamin

Awakened by rustling in the bathroom next door and the clank of decor swinging on a bedroom door, I roll out of my bed, slide my feet into slippers, then throw an old sweatshirt over my pajamas so I can go straight to getting breakfast ready before the 7am bus. During the breakfast prep, I slide a horse-sized vitamin down my throat with a glass of water. A biblical teacher once taught me to visualize dressing myself with the following Colossians passage as if each attribute were clothes to put on in the the morning but never before have I realized how much I need this spiritual clothing, or daily vitamin, as to address my attitude, language and heart as I parent.

Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. Colossians 3:12-14

Graced with a unique cross-section of parenting, my home and heart embrace teen, tween, elementary-age and infant. Different stages, personalities and temperaments require a diverse set of needs and training. Each golden head requires a varied amount of endurance, creativity and energy on part and I deeply desire to respond to every encounter with a godly attitude; one of those listed in the Colossians 3 passage. Truthfully, I fail miserably mostly. But sometimes, by God's grace, the Holy Spirit speaks louder than my selfishness.

Angered by the waking baby in the middle of the night, I mutter to this crying infant, "Why can't you just sleep? Momma wants to sleep!" In that moment of frustration, I am convicted by the Holy Spirit, Put on compassion. After all, he's just a baby.

Skirting past middle schoolers in the morning kitchen as they rant and rummage through cupboards assembling lunches. I'm just trying to make my way to that glorious first cup of black coffee. I'm tempted to snap, "Can't you be less messy? Fight less? Bicker less? And could you stop slamming the cupboard doors?" Again the Holy Spirit nips on my heels, Bear with one another. 

A hungry, snappy 9-year old claims she "can't load the dishwasher because it's just too hard." I want to yell, "You'll load the dishwasher because I said so!" The Spirit's voice says, Meekness (humility) is not demanding what is rightfully yours: help in the kitchen before a crazy night of taxiing three kids after you've just made the entire meal. Rather in patience, teach her how in a moment of non-conflict. (I admit, I have to get back to that teaching part...)

The most important vitamins I can take are the virtues of Colossians 3. How do we take these one-a-days? I must daily ask the Holy Spirit for these attitudes so that I can respond in holiness to each parenting encounter. It's not about trying harder but letting God in the person of the Holy Spirit work through you. In essence, praying that I take a compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, patience, forbearance, forgiveness and love daily vitamin, is inviting the Holy Spirit into my day, setting my mind on the things of the Spirit (Romans 8:5) and letting Him work in me (Colossians 1:29).
After inviting the Holy Spirit into my life, I can naturally "...be thankful," (Colossians 3:15b) for these family moments that sanctify me and give me opportunities to die to myself and live to Christ. And I am thankful for the words of the apostle Paul that instruct my attitude while I train them in the way they should go (Proverbs 22:6). 

When I desired to become a parent, it never crossed my mind that it would be my chance to grow in holiness. Did you think of this? My mind went to teaching them diligently the words of the Lord (Deuteronomy 6:4-9). Yes, this is biblical but I have overlooked the sanctifying work in motherhood.

Let the message of Christ dwell among you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom through psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit, singing to God with gratitude in your hearts. Colossians 3:16

If seeking the words of the Lord in scripture were not part of my daily routine like taking a multi-vitamin, would I hear the Holy Spirit convicting me of my sinful attitudes? This is how the message of Christ dwells in me richly during these days of parenting: teaching, advising and encouraging these children every day in every activity in every word and action.

Maybe you're not in the throws of parenting, but where are you? God sanctifies us in every stage of life. Where in your life could you be reminded to take compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, patience, forbearance, forgiveness and love vitamins? Let these words from the Apostle Paul dwell in you richly this week as you set out on the course God has called you.

Hiding

And they heard the sound of the Lord God walking in the garden in the cool of the day and the man and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the Lord God among the trees of the garden. Genesis 3:8

Relationships are destroyed when we hide. It could be easy to read this verse in Genesis and think, Well, that's silly! You can't hide from God, He sees everything. What were Adam and Eve thinking? But how often do we brush the reality of our sin under a rug and hope God won't deal with it or allow consequence for our sin? And further, how true is this in our interpersonal relationships? Relational intimacy is destroyed when we stop being transparent in our relationships. It happened first in the garden with God and mankind because they were afraid of God (Genesis 3:10).
If a glass jar represented your life, you would have the choice whether or not to let those around you look straight into the jar or to place something around the jar and obstruct other's view into your jar. At a low point in our marriage, the engineer accused me of hiding from him, literally. I was ashamed to be seen by my husband. This was both a physical and and emotional fear and was one of many factors that led to the deterioration of our relationship. When he first pointed this out to me, I denied it. But it was the truth. I had to consciously choose transparency, letting him see inside my jar, both literally and figuratively in order to restore our relationship.
Recently, I became both ugly and confrontational to my compassionate teen who tends to be a picky and inconsistent eater. She had chosen the path of transparency to say she didn't like what I had prepared for her breakfast and instead of grace, I reacted with anger and defensiveness. She had rightly chosen transparency; I chose to not accept and judge her preferences. Later the same day, when she heard that she would be getting a fluoride treatment at the dentist, she (again transparent) chose to wear her anxiety and fear all over her face. I saw straight into her jar. The good in choosing this transparency is that I can respond in grace and pray for her courage and strength. (Though it baffles me how a girl who can't wait to gut a deer with her dad is freaked about a clear substance being smeared across her teeth.) What a gift transparency can be in preserving and restoring a relationship! If she would have stuffed her anxiety inside, I would not have had the privilege of being bonded together with her through prayer.
There is a need to consistently apply transparency to my relationship with Jesus. To be honest, to intentionally search my heart for ways I may have offended, disobeyed or been unfaithful to Him and His ways and then tried to cover the outside of my jar. How often, instead of pulling back the cover from my jar by confessing my sin, experiencing forgiveness and grace in my weakness, do I choose to try forget about it, turn a blind eye or even make excuses (justify) my wrong doing? In doing so, I reject His forgiveness of my sin and His gracious, sufficient power to combat my sinful habits. In essence, I'm just like Adam and Eve, hiding in the garden from God. A relationship spend hiding from someone is no relationship at all. I must consciously choose let God see all that's in my jar.
When was the last time you stopped to look at your life and confess areas you may have been trying to hide from God? In what personal relationship are you withholding truth and honesty? Will you choose to be transparent with God and others?

Untimely

An organized woman would have written this before the Hallmark holiday we call Mother's Day. I want to dismiss it from my mind and think maybe next year, but the thoughts won't go away. I must commit them to "paper."
On Mother's Day weekend, our family traversed across the city (along with the rest of the metro population), through the beginnings of lake country and into the pine forests for our first camping experience of the year. As we picked up the golden heads from school, this small voice began percolating in my head, You're the lucky one. I woke the next morning on a flat air mattress next to the engineer and two of the three golden heads snuggled beside. As my family exited to start the fire and make warm drinks, I lingered under the covers listening: to two little sisters exploring in the woods, to big sister tending the fire, to giggles, to sips of hot chocolate... I am blown away.
I am the lucky one this Mother's Day weekend. Though I know the grief of two babies miscarried in the past year, I have three healthy, god-fearing daughters trying to walk with Jesus. I have hugs to receive, "I love you"s to hear, homemade gifts to open and extra dishes and clothes to wash. My unheld babies are held tightly in heaven until I meet them face to face and embrace them in my own arms and meanwhile on this earth, my cup truly runs over.
I am extremely grateful yet, it hardly seems fair as I think about those who've lost only children. Those who've dreamed of children for years and yet still wait and wonder. My heart has been pricked for these dear, tender hearts this past week.
So what should be my response? As I woke that Saturday morning to the sounds of my family, God reminded me of Colossians 1:16-17,

For by (Jesus) all things were created, in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities--all things were created through Him and for Him. And He is before all things, and in Him all things hold together...

My position is nothing about me. It is all about Jesus. It is all because of Jesus!
Only in Jesus could my marriage be healed from years of neglect and strengthened with endearment and genuine admiration because only Jesus reconciles all things (Colossians 1:22). In a culture where teens struggle with depression, identity, insecurity and anxiety, only Jesus has the power to hold these three golden heads near to Him (and their parents.) So I admit my uselessness, and look only to Jesus. There seems to be no other security than to "continue in the faith (of Jesus), stable and steadfast, not shifting from the hope of the gospel (Jesus)..." Colossians 1:23. Jesus is my only hope in this life today and forever.
I want to trust that if Jesus is strong enough and big enough to hold together my family of five, He is definitely powerful enough to sustain and hold together the hearts and lives of those dear women who's arms do not yet embrace a little one. I pray for you tender ones that you would continue in the faith, held together by Jesus and experience the hope only possible through Jesus.

Voted

Returning home from vacation, we sat around the airport food court and recounted highlights from those six sunny days. As I relished the golden glow of faces around me, I noticed unique personalities and characteristics: Best hair; Best hat; Most opinion; Best leader. But what would be my characteristic or personality trait?
Just having read John Piper's Desiring God chapter on finding delight in marriage, I was hoping to be noted for being, "Most helpful." I helped with passports, boarding tickets, restroom breaks, towels, sunscreen, phone calls to room service or housekeeping. Piper begins the chapter like this,

The reason there is so much misery in marriage is not that husbands and wives seek their own pleasure, but that they do not seek it in the pleasure of their spouses. The biblical mandate to husbands AND wives is to seek your own joy in the joy of your spouse. (John Piper, Desiring God, p. 175.) 

God designed the first woman to help Adam. He determined that it wasn't good for Adam to be alone and God would fashion a helper fit for Adam (Genesis 2:18). God made mankind to share God's goodness, grace and bounty, not to hoard these gifts. And my role is not to be just like the engineer, but to compliment him and a assist him in sharing and giving God's gifts so that he feels joyful. Only when I do what I was designed to do, will I find my own pleasure and joy.

Recounting Grandma Edna's legacy, it is evident to me what a helper she was to her husband, children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren, friends, church and community. She gave and she complemented. But in all these stories and reflections, I never got the impression that she received rewards on this side of heaven. A helper seldom gets accolades. A helper is so behind the scenes, she rarely gets noticed and hardly ever gets glory. A godly helper is content with this.

Take John the Baptist. John 10:41 tells us that a crowd was following Jesus back to the place where He was baptized by John. There, possibly reminiscing on the life of John, they recall that John didn't do any miracles, he announced and pointed the masses of people to Jesus, who came to the world to save them. And now three years later, it turns out that everything John said about Jesus was true. John was a helper. He helped people find the way to eternal life: not in following religious rituals and laws, but in Jesus who would do the work required to save them. John helped people find God's goodness and grace. John wasn't celebrated and adorned. In fact, they killed John, but he would receive his reward in heaven.
Oh, to have the heart of a servant helper! To be content with just pointing people to Jesus. To be completely satisfied in assisting those in my sphere of influence and pointing them to Jesus. When I meet Jesus face to face, I hope in (so many words) I do in fact get voted, "A good helper."
Are you called to be a helper? When Eve was presented before Adam, he said, "At last!" This implies that he was so excited that this moment had finally came. He had finally found a helper and the two worked together in harmony. Is someone in your life waiting to for your help so they can say, "At last! I can complete the task God gave me because I have a helper,"? Unfortunately, sometimes our pride or greed for fame and recognition get in the way of helping. Will you choose to be content with the the role of helper?

My Advisor

Jesus is my good advisor; I have all I need and desire nothing more than His presence in my life.
Jesus makes me sit still in His abundant power (not my own strength),
He brings me rest, quiet and comfort in a foul, chaotic, fast-paced world.
He refreshes my soul like hot coffee in the early morning.
Jesus covers a battered, tattered me with His perfection because it delights Him and brings applause to His deserving Name: Jesus.

When my life becomes burdened, busy and miserable,
I don't have to worry,
for Jesus is with me;
His written Word and its instruction bring me hope and comfort when I choose to follow them.

Jesus gives me as much love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control as I could ever want, like a Thanksgiving Day feast.
This is all within my grasp while Satan watches and scowls because He can't have me;
No instead I have all the resources I need for a full, rich, meaningful life.
Only good gifts and undeserved favor will describe my life,
when I choose to live my life in Jesus' advisory office.
Psalm 23, paraphrase

Is Jesus your advisor? "[Satan] comes only to steal and kill and destroy. [Jesus] came that we might have life and have it abundantly." John 10:10. Choose abundance!

Humbling. Different. Good. Enough.

After the dishwasher was loaded, the gifts put away and crumbs swept up, I felt overwhelmed. Not so much in an exhausted sense, but in a super-crazy blown-away blessed overwhelmedness. Fifteen guests, 1400 miles on their cars, gifts, late night driving and nine excited kids came together to celebrate cousin birthdays. It's different to be the recipient of the gift.
I wonder if that's how Jesus' disciples felt. They followed Jesus to desolate places and the crowds came as well. When Jesus saw the physical need for food, He provided that need and used the hands and feet of the disciples. Just imagine the disciples serving, as part of Jesus' miracle, distributing the seven loaves of bread and two fish that fed over 4000 people (with left-overs besides). You feel blessed to be part of God's work, to love and give to others what God's provided. Hours later, the disciples find themselves on the boat and have little food to spare amongst themselves. Jesus wasn't surprised. Again, He knew the need and He would supply more than enough for their physical needs.

"Having eyes do you not see, and having ears do you not hear? And do you not remember? When I broke the five loaves for the five thousand, how many baskets full of broken pieces did you take up?” They said to him, “Twelve.” “And the seven for the four thousand, how many baskets full of broken pieces did you take up?” And they said to him, “Seven.” And he said to them, “Do you not yet understand?” Mark 8:18-21

Jesus was able to supply all their needs; they wouldn't be left hungry. But wouldn't it feel different to be the recipient? To be served instead of serving? Passing bread and fish to the 4000, they were part of God's miracle; at this point, they'd just be like the crowd sitting on the hillside receiving His provision. Humbling. Different. Good. Enough.
It's natural, "no big deal" to me to give, love and serve others. Sometimes it stretches me past my comfort zone, but it's something I'm compelled to do and something God provides for me to share or give. But to receive and just have to sit with open hands, that's different, humbling, good, enough. This God's provision too.
I can't believe the effort given on my behalf, because they love me and God provided these family members with time and resources to give to me. What can I do but sit with open hands and accept the gift of God?
Right now, place your hands together, with the palms up and keep them open. Sit in the presence of your Savior acknowledging and accepting the gifts He's giving you right now.

Lavished

Cheyenne Lake Suite, The Broadmoor, Colorado Springs, CO.

Sitting in the beautiful suite, surrounded by luxury I can not afford and did not earn, I marvel. Just one day prior, my stomach in knots, constantly breathing deeply, placing my trust in Christ as I ventured far from home and away from my family. And then I am shown to my accommodation: a suite on Lake Cheyenne. Seriously God?

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places, even as (God) chose us in (Christ) before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before Him. In love (God) predestined us for adoption as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of His will, to the praise of His glorious grace, which He has blessed us in the Beloved (Christ). In (Christ) we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of (God's) grace, which He lavished upon us in all wisdom and insight making known to us the mystery of His will, according to His purpose, which He set forth in Christ as a plan for the fullness of time, to unite all things to Him, things in heaven and things on earth.
In (Christ) we have obtained an inheritance, having been predestined according to the purpose of (God) who works all things according to the counsel of His will… Ephesians 1:3-11

Picture it. God, Creator, Father, before the creation of the world, having a strategic planning meeting (isn't that what we'd call it today?) with His Son and the Holy Spirit. And they create: "Let's make this big! Let's create beings like us. Let's make Becky, Joe, Kathy…. And they're going to have a problem because they won't be exactly like us, they won't be perfect. And then We'll be the Hero. We'll offer to save _(your name)_ and they'll have to accept Our offer. (Like a Hollywood epic where the hero extends a hand to the distressed hanging on the side of the sky scraper.) The distressed is totally unable to save himself. And the hero, Christ will extend His hand because He's strong, rich and powerful."

Forgive my imagination, this may be a far leap from actuality. But the truth is, before creation God chose us. He made a plan to swoop in and save us, the distressed. Because He had more than enough resources to go around (He's rich) and He wanted to give us a gift, His saving grace. But He didn't stop there. After we are saved from the life-or-death situation, He lavishes us with gifts. We are made holy, blameless, an heir to the kingdom, daughters and sons, and offered everything we need for a rich, full and meaningful life. 

Surrounded by earthly luxury, I understand: God is this extravagant! And I did not deserve it. Because of His undeserved gift, He blessed me. I am so undeserving. He's given me understanding of His mystery of salvation, Jesus as my scapegoat, an inheritance (adopted me as His daughter) and I am His praise and glory. Me?

And then He says, ask for more! I have it to give:

• a spirit of wisdom 
• revelation in knowing Him
• enlightened mind so that I understand:

• my hope

• my inheritance

• the power available to me. (Ephesians 1:17-19)

This is my God! In my distress, He offers me His hand and I have accepted. Then He gives me more. I could have declined His gift, just as I could have chosen to leave the suite and head home on the first flight back to MSP, but similar to His grace, I am shown extreme generosity. And I accept. Is this your God? Accept His gift today.

Arrange

Yesterday, we had a parenting moment. I told the engineer my opinion; the child at hand's natural consequence should be not getting to downhill ski with the rest of the family. I hated having to do it, but I felt we had to "call her bluff." Ultimately the decision would be his. Watching her walk to the ski lodge with a smile peeled to her face, I knew she had won. He chose to extend grace, to give a second (or thousandth) chance. I was livid! I determined in my heart that I would not ski with the family, but rather sit and read in the lodge. My reaction tore the heart of engineer between doing what he thought was right and pleasing me, his demanding wife. I sent him to fit the youngest for skis and promised I would try to calm down.

As I sat there, first, I realized it was the first time I'd even prayed during the situation. Pathetic, I know! 

The engineer was extending grace. Earlier that morning hadn't I realized how God constantly extended grace to David? David was both sinner and saint. He is a man who loved God and a man who sometimes failed. His life showed God's grace, and despite his failures, David is known as a man after God's own heart (1 Samuel 13:14, Acts 13:22). Just hours ago, I marveled at such a gracious God as He extends the same graces to me. And now, would I choose to imitate Christ?

Just a few weeks ago, a friend shared with me on submission. 

Biblical Greek for submit is hupotasso - be be under obedience or submit self unto
Hupo - under
Tasso - to arrange in an orderly manner (to let God arrange us in an orderly manner)

God made me a wife. He placed me next to the engineer and under his protective care. God protects and provides for me through my husband. Therefore, to not submit this circumstance God places me in is to not submit to God. He is using this and all circumstances to arrange me in an orderly manner. 

Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. Ephesians 5:22-24

God clearly was telling me, if you trust your husband and submit to him, you're submitting to me and there will be blessing. I needed to let God arrange me in an orderly manner. Good thing it took fifteen minutes to get those rentals. I choose to submit, to ski, and geared up for the cold day. And there were blessings! Multiple times on the ski hill, I found myself saying, "Thank you God, that I got to see…feel…smell…touch…"

What is God trying to arrange in an orderly manner in your life? Will you choose to submit to Christ (even if it means you have to submit to your leadership)?

What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you? Is it not this, that your passions are at war within you? You desire and you do not have, so you murder. You covet and cannot obtain, so you fight and quarrel. You do not have, because you do not ask. You ask and do not receive, because you ask wrongly, to spend it on your passions. …Scripture says, "He yearns jealously for the spirit that he has made to dwell in us"? But He give more grace. Therefore it says, "God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble." Submit yourselves therefore to God." James 4:1-3, 5b-7a

More than enough grace

I'm fatigued. Long week. Sleepover. Dirty house. Tired. Crabby. I hope someone can relate to this position in motherhood. "Mom....Mom...Mom...can I? I'm hungry. Where's the..." "I'm in the bathroom. Can I have some peace and quiet in the bathroom, please?" I yell from a closed door. Returning to lunch duty in attempt to fill hungry bellies, the compassionate one says, "We should make a rule, you can't bug someone when they're in the bathroom." And then God gets my hold of my crabby attitude and says to my heart "Stop it!" as she continues on, "This is really weird. But at school....in the bathroom. That's where I feel closest to God. It's really weird, but I talk to Him there." And I see it for what it is instantly: a gift! The gift of an eight-year old opening her heart to a mother.
"Wretched man that I am! Who will set me free from the body of this death?"( The crabby, tired, snappy mother.) "Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ..." Romans 7:24-25.
I wish I could claim that I immediately snapped out of my crabby attitude. I didn't, but a nap helped. But if God gives me such beautiful gifts even though I am a wretched soul...what great gifts await me in Heaven, when I am made completely perfect, able to worship Him without hinderance? Praise be to God for the gifts given me...His over and beyond anything grace! (2 Corinthians 9:14-15)
In Chapter of 9 of Paul's second letter to the Corinthians, he's giving the Corinthians a heads up on a giving opportunity and teaching them about giving. In my times studying this prior, I have thought about the giving of financial gifts, but now reflecting on this incident, I see it in light of a mother giving gifts of time, compassion, comfort and training to her children. In verse 5, Paul wants them to be ready to give "a willing gift, not as an exaction," (expecting something in return). Fatigued as a mother, I sometimes selfishly think, "When is it my time? When do I get?" But as Paul says, we are to give our time and efforts as a parent expecting nothing in return. We are urged to not be people of give and then take.
"Whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly," (verse 6) reminds me that I need to heavily invest in my goldenheads. My heart must be in the right place, as verse 5 teaches, willingly, but in addition to this, I will get my reward--in God's time, for "God loves a cheerful giver," (verse 7). And during this time of giving to my family, "God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that having all sufficiency in all things in all times, you may abound in every good work," (verse 8.) He will generously provide all I need for my physical strength, sanity, emotionally, in all things at all times. Paul repeats all four times in that verse. He is sufficient in all!
And again in verse 11, I am reassured that I will be "enriched in every way to be generous in every way." I can be sure that God does not call me to a task which is too big, great or difficult for me to handle. And even this comes with a promise that His enriching me will make the goldenheads thankful, someday, if not today.
By persevering in motherhood and investing in the girls I am supplying the needs of  the saints (verse 12)...the needs of the goldenheads. And in their eventual thanksgiving, that will bring glory to God.
And finally in verse 14, Paul talks about the "surpasssing grace of God" upon the Corinthians. I note that surpassing is a verb and means

1) to surpass in throwing, to throw over or beyond any thing
2) to transcend, surpass, exceed, excel
3) excelling, exceeding.

God's grace is a gift that causes joy, given freely, without reason or cause for it. I don't deserve His work and enriching power in my life but He gives it because He chooses to and in addition, He gives it actively, continually over and beyond what I could muster up in my own energy and effort.
I am not perfect, but I am continually empowered by the perfect Creator, the giver of life. I concur with the apostle Paul in verse 15, "Thanks be to God for his inexpressible gift!"

Opened

I've journaled repeatedly how pivotal choosing a life style of gratitude has been to me: choosing to thank God's for each gracious gift that brings joy. Reading Ann Voskamp's, One Thousand Gifts opened my eyes to this truth that is constantly revealed in scripture. In Luke, Jesus walks with Cleopas and another disciple on the road to Emmaus after the resurrection. These men walked with Jesus, were taught by Jesus, probably touched Jesus, they were with Jesus, but they didn't know it was Him until Jesus "took bread, blessed and broke it, and gave it to them. Then their eyes were opened and they knew Him," (Luke 24:30-31). Giving thanks opened their eyes to see Jesus.
Yesterday, we found out that quite soon our nephew Micah will go meet Jesus. How God made Micah is so amazing and wonderful, the doctors can't figure it out, so it's time for Jesus to restore Micah in heaven. It's a whirl of emotions, I can't imagine being the parent in this situation, it's heart-wrenching enough being the aunt and sister. But when despair gets too great, I have stopped myself to think...this is the hard eucharisteo, the hard thanksgiving, but I know it's there. Much for which to give thanks. I begin a mental list...pictures with Micah the night before he got really ill, his love for root beer, living in Minnesota now instead of being 12 hours away in Montana... Then I recall the passage in Luke. Giving thanks opened the disciples' eyes to see Jesus. When we ask why (just as the disciples were asking why Jesus had to be crucified), we can't see Jesus in the midst of our pain of losing Micah. When we list each of God's gifts, we see Jesus, our hope. I feel led to begin at one:

1. Having the "Sechler Seven" around my table the night prior
2. Pictures that turned out
3. Micah throwing his spiral with his mom
4. Micah getting his wish from Make A Wish
5. Micah excited about his really good book and A&W
6. Talking "normal life" with my sister
7. Traci taking over in my kitchen
8. Light on the pumpkin pumpkin bars for dessert so Micah can have one
9. Mike & the engineer laughing at how similar Traci & I are
10. Living in Minnesota
11. Quoting "When I am afraid, I will trust in You" Psalm 56:3 when I had a missed call from Mike and the calm that followed
12. The compassionate one praying for the Sechler family while we waited to leave school
13. The golden heads reaching out to comfort mom...holding my hand, hugs, rubbing my back and arm
14. The engineer knowing to go be with family
15. Safe travel to and from Litchfield
16. Laughing about the boisterous one's "opinions"
17. "Grandpa Leon is here?" followed by a big smile
18. Being with family
19. Peacefullness exuded by Mike and Traci
20. The new digital camera arriving
21. Hospice nurse
22. Kids Club that the cousins got to go to
23. Sitting alongside Micah
24. Traci talking about the Big Big House Micah's going to
25. All the good food Micah will soon get to eat: Mountain Dew, chocolate, pizza with lots of cheese...
26. Dad and Lucas being finished in the field
27. The engineer playing Mario Kart with his nephews
28. The sweet sound of cousins playing
29. Rebekah asking for a tray to play house with all the cousins
30. Coffee and caffeine in general
31. Getting Abi-girl ready for bed
32. Singing and praying alongside Micah before we left
33. Kissing Micah's head
34. Christian Music
35. "While I'm Waiting" by John Waller on the radio
36. God directing steps
37. No school for the golden heads the next few days
38. Mercies new every morning
39. "Break Open the Sky" on the drive...tears streaming down
40. Good Music to lift us up
41. Mike's silly smile and quirks despite the grief--makes him, him
42. The boisterous one playing play dough with Abigail
43. Abigail's big smile
44. The engineer being girl-trapped 5 times over
45. Mike taking a picture of it
46. Caleb being excited about XBox and needing another controller
47. An abundance of goodies to choose from
48. Mom's goey lazy day bars
49. Holding Rebekah for a long snuggle
50. Talking with dad on the phone
51. Sharing memories of Micah
52. "Brother, let's make a deal"
53. "I got a booger"
54. Remembering the Amazing Race
55. Seeing pictures on Facebook of Micah
56. Being with family
57. Giving fun gifts...Keurig
58. More pieces for the game room delivered
59. Seeing each golden head as a bit more precious...a gift on loan
60. Kisses stolen while the golden heads sleep
61. Shopping as therapy
62. Being 2 hours from Litchfield
63. Toby Mac tee
64. Cousins playing outside without shoes on
65. Dad processing grief through the truth of scripture
66. Cuddling with Caleb
67. The compassionate one giving up to so Abigail could have a gift bag
68. Daniel's servant heart - bringing his computer
69. Pictures
70. Photo albums
71. Lori
72. Amazing attitudes of our golden heads 
73. Micah's thankfulness journal
74. Micah's letter to Rebekah
75. A face to face visit with Lori
76. Hugs
77. Seeing extended family
78. Watching Traci & Mike worship
79. And Abigail too!
80. Rootbeer Keg
81. Pizza
82. Visit with Ashley
83. A huge real hug from Traci
84. Vacation for the Sechlers
85. ...

Eucharisteo precedes the miracle

Monday, August 13, 2012
For months, the tug of war keeps repeating. The passions and selfishness of my mortal body wage war against the law of my mind where God is on the throne. A struggle with the sin of my flesh as Paul describes in Romans 7. I see a new battle on the horizon. I know the good that I want to do as the occasion ahead arrives, but I know too well from the past, that I may not win this war. I'm feeling disheartened. Oh Lord, how can I emerge victorious?
This morning, with kids conversing in the background while munching on the once-in-a-very-rare-while treat of Lucky Charms, God reveals a mystery. Still parked in Romans 7, and reading about Paul's wrestle, letting it sink in, I read verse 24-25, "Who will set me free from the body of this death? Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord!" What I've found interesting for weeks if that "thanks" in the NASB is Strong's G5485, charis. I recall this word well after reading One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp. It's greek for grace, God's gift that cause us joy. Digging deeper, and looking to other translations, I see that in the KJV, "thanks" is labeled with Strong's G2168, eucharisteo, which contains the root word charis, but means to be give thanks for the the gift of grace that causes joy. I am struggling to see how gift and joy fits into this context. (I may be slow to connect the threads.) I review my notes from One Thousand Gifts. In Voskamp's work, she studied all the different occasions eucharisteo occurs in the New Testament. One of them is John 11:41, when Jesus prays and thanks God for hearing him right before Lazarus is raised from the dead. Eucharisteo-thanksgiving-always precedes the miracle.
In that moment, the lightbulb goes on! Yes, I know that Jesus is the only way I can be free from the slavery of sin, but the vehicle He uses to set me free might just be eucharisteo!
As I face the situation ahead which I expect to be a struggle and doubt I can emerge mature and complete in my faith, is all I need eucharisteo? I believe it! From making my list of 1000 gifts, I have seen God completely change my attitude and heart in tough situations by intentionally naming the gifts He does give, why would he not also set me free now as I give thanks? Yes, I will start my list of thanks, fully expecting eucharisteo to precede the miracle!