Showing posts with label transparency. Show all posts
Showing posts with label transparency. Show all posts

Hiding

And they heard the sound of the Lord God walking in the garden in the cool of the day and the man and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the Lord God among the trees of the garden. Genesis 3:8
Relationships are destroyed when we hide. It could be easy to read this verse in Genesis and think, Well, that's silly! You can't hide from God, He sees everything. What were Adam and Eve thinking? But how often do we brush the reality of our sin under a rug and hope God won't deal with it or allow consequence for our sin? And further, how true is this in our interpersonal relationships? Relational intimacy is destroyed when we stop being transparent in our relationships. It happened first in the garden with God and mankind because they were afraid of God (Genesis 3:10).
If a glass jar represented your life, you would have the choice whether or not to let those around you look straight into the jar or to place something around the jar and obstruct other's view into your jar. At a low point in our marriage, the engineer accused me of hiding from him, literally. I was ashamed to be seen by my husband. This was both a physical and and emotional fear and was one of many factors that led to the deterioration of our relationship. When he first pointed this out to me, I denied it. But it was the truth. I had to consciously choose transparency, letting him see inside my jar, both literally and figuratively in order to restore our relationship.
Recently, I became both ugly and confrontational to my compassionate teen who tends to be a picky and inconsistent eater. She had chosen the path of transparency to say she didn't like what I had prepared for her breakfast and instead of grace, I reacted with anger and defensiveness. She had rightly chosen transparency; I chose to not accept and judge her preferences. Later the same day, when she heard that she would be getting a fluoride treatment at the dentist, she (again transparent) chose to wear her anxiety and fear all over her face. I saw straight into her jar. The good in choosing this transparency is that I can respond in grace and pray for her courage and strength. (Though it baffles me how a girl who can't wait to gut a deer with her dad is freaked about a clear substance being smeared across her teeth.) What a gift transparency can be in preserving and restoring a relationship! If she would have stuffed her anxiety inside, I would not have had the privilege of being bonded together with her through prayer.
There is a need to consistently apply transparency to my relationship with Jesus. To be honest, to intentionally search my heart for ways I may have offended, disobeyed or been unfaithful to Him and His ways and then tried to cover the outside of my jar. How often, instead of pulling back the cover from my jar by confessing my sin, experiencing forgiveness and grace in my weakness, do I choose to try forget about it, turn a blind eye or even make excuses (justify) my wrong doing? In doing so, I reject His forgiveness of my sin and His gracious, sufficient power to combat my sinful habits. In essence, I'm just like Adam and Eve, hiding in the garden from God. A relationship spend hiding from someone is no relationship at all. I must consciously choose let God see all that's in my jar.
When was the last time you stopped to look at your life and confess areas you may have been trying to hide from God? In what personal relationship are you withholding truth and honesty? Will you choose to be transparent with God and others?

Exposed

Like the layers of that delicious chocolate birthday cake, circumstances, scripture and creation seems to echo the word: transparent.
Studying the landscape out my window, the trees stand, completely exposed and naked. They can't hide what they are to the core. Transparent.
Driving down the road, Plumb's lyrics repeat the theme
I just let go
And I feel exposed
But its so beautiful
Cuz this is who I am
I've been such a mess
But now I can't care less 
I could bleed to death...
In Cinderella, I watched the country, slave girl look in the mirror before approaching the searching prince, in ragged clothes, dirty face, disheveled hair and say, "I have no magic to help me now." She must meet the prince just as she is. Transparent.
Studying in 2 Corinthians for Bible study, I watched the apostle Paul, expose a multitude of emotions and feelings to his readers. Transparent. And I wonder, why do we hide behind facades? Why do we pretend to have it all pulled together when in reality, it's the furthest thing from the truth?
That's when I felt compelled; the rubber meets the road here. Strip it off. Start with your make-up. I stood in front of the mirror staring for five-minutes before I decided to go to church without make-up on. I felt exposed. Quite literally. There was question in the engineer's eyes and hesitation as if to say, Are you sure you're ready for church? Did you forget something? 
Transparency is a choice that yeilds beautiful, authentic results.
Though Paul doesn't use the word, I feel it's part of his message in chapters 6 & 7 of 2 Corinthians. 
We have spoken freely to you, Corinthians: our heart is wide open. You are not restricted by us, but you are restricted in your own affections. In return..widen your hearts also. 2 Corinthians 6:11-13
Then Paul launches into a discussion on not tying yourselves to unbelievers before returning to the idea of being open and transparent with him in 7:2, "Make room in your hearts of us," and bearing the emotions of his heart.
I have to assume that this isn't just a rabbit trail Paul went on about being yoked with unbelievers, but rather, it's a principle to apply. It just isn't beneficial or even recommended to be completely transparent with non-believers. Be real, not hypocritical, but guard your heart when working and living with unbelievers. 
However with God and with those who you are in covenant relationship (marriage, church, mentorships, friendships, family),  open wide your hearts! These are the people who "are in our hearts, to die together and to live together," Paul says in 7:3. He goes on to use ten descriptors of his emotions: 
boldness (v. 4)
pride (v. 4)
comfort (vv. 4, 6, 13)
affliction(4, 5)
joy (vv. 4, 7, 9, 13, 16)
fighting (v. 5)
fear (v. 5)
downcast (v. 6)
regret (v. 8)
confidence (v. 16)
Paul flings open his heart and what happens? Rejoicing! He mentions joy five times. It is embarrassing, humbling and sometimes painful to be transparent. But there must be joy found it.
My mind returns to the trees getting ready to burst out in glory and joy. They've been sitting exposed and bare for nearly seven months. Only after they've had this time of transparency are they ready to become what God created and intended them to me. This must be true in our own lives. Only after we've been transparent and bared all, can we experience joy and flourish. And it must ongoing. After five months of glory, the trees will again be exposed. Fall will come and their leaves (or make-up) will be stripped away. The seasons remind us to be continually transparent.
Will you choose to bear your true heart and emotions in covenant relationships? It's painful, hard and humbling, but you will experience joy in becoming the beauty God created you to be.