"Come to Me"

"Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." Matthew 11:28-30
What would it look like if I learned what this really meant? For a month now, I've been praying this daily. Meditating on it. Believing it. Acting on it.
Today it means trusting in the Creator, not the created. Trusting in God for my hope and happiness, significance and security (New City Catechism, Question 17). My hope for this week doesn't depend on sticking to my new year's resolutions. My happiness for this day doesn't depend on a member of my family. My significance is not dependent on my job, or lack of employment.
The infamous they (whoever that is) say that one day your baby will just start waking up happy, jabbering to himself, playing, smiling... Well, I'm fourteen months into this and I can count on one hand the number of times that's happened. Nearly every wake time is followed by crying and panic. This little one wakes and depends on me for his happiness and security. It's a pathetic picture.
Is that what I look like? When the day's been a little tipsy-turvy, will I become an adult version of wailing, moaning and groaning for someone or something (uh, hum: chocolate and coffee) to be my hope and security? (Idolatry.) Or will I come to the Creator?
My security today and tomorrow rests alone in God my Creator, the very one who gives me breath.
I will claim that He is my happiness. He is my hope. He makes me significant. He is my security. I will come to Jesus and find rest.

Childlike

One of the perks of the mundane tasks of being mom (you know: laundry, vacuuming, scrubbing kitchens and bathrooms...) is the time it allows you to pray. During this precious doubly productive time, I often find myself becoming empathic toward my dear ones' circumstance or the possible gamut of emotions they might be wrestling. Typically, I relate to others best when I take time to ponder my own similar experiences. Praying this week, I realized a common theme of my prayers for others and myself: the unknown is scrupulous and we despise it!
Why is the unknown so hard for us to grapple? So hard for us to trust? Why do we desire to know every outcome? To have all the answers? Because sitting in the middle of the unknown is uncomfortable and we have no control.

Why are there holes in the pool liner? Why these muscle aches for my son? What is causing these hives? Why the random abdominal pain? Why depression? Why bleeding? Why are the birds eating the peas? Why these struggles and trials? Why can't I fix it? And why won't God fix it, now?

When a child is young, she takes everything as it comes and has no worries for the morrow. Every day is an adventure waiting to be had.

Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. Matthew 18:34

What an example a child's faith and trust is to we older, more mature. We can't see God rule and reign in our hearts on this earth nor on the the throne in the world to come unless we accept each day with its unknowns and expectantly trust that God will work out our great conundrums. This is humility; admititing that we are powerless and He is powerful and mighty! He is in control and we are governed by Him only.
This is childlike humility: to accept with authentic peace that I don't know why, I can't stop it, and I can't control the outcome of my circumstance. He alone is God. Along with everything else, He has even this detail tucked into His good plan for me. Even if there are tears on my part, (and don't children experience plenty of tears?) He never leads me into something He can't and does not control. And He is always with me.

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for You (God) are with me. Psalm 23:4a

Whatever your trial is right now, will you choose to trust Him even though you do not know the outcome of your situation? I find that trusting God during my circumstance is a layering process and it often needs repeating throughout my day, sometimes minute by minute. But the peace that follows is real and deep (Isaiah 26:3).Will you trust that God has all the details under control, always has and always will? And trust that while He works out the details, you are never alone? He is with you.

God-story

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

I've been putting my heart, soul and mind into believing God's promise. That He's said it and it's done, as I wait for the details to unfold. This is a moment by moment, minute by minute battle of choice.
At this minute, I believe but Jesus, help me with my unbelief (Mark 9:23-25). Not long ago, a cherished friend shared with me the Message paraphrase of Romans 4. It really bears merit for all to stop and read it! This is when I realized, that I can't do the work of the next step in my life. It truly needs to be God's doing, His work, a God-story. Not a SeekingTheMaker-story.
When Jesus rode into Jerusalem on the humble donkey and its colt, the crowds were caught up in a moment of belief that God had sent this man, their Messiah, to save them from the oppression and tyranny of the Romans. They sang, "Hosanna!" Which in Greek literally means, "Save, we pray." They thought they knew God's plan of sending a big hot shot to overthrow the Romans. God had an even bigger plan in mind. Israel thought they needed saving in their external circumstance. God knew they needed spiritual provision and saving, through the perfect, once for all sacrifice for their sins in Jesus' perfect body slain.
I'm just like that. How many times do I shout, "God, save me, give me Your power and guide me out of my external circumstance (a broken down car, an unpleasant moment with the golden heads, disconnect with the engineer, conflict, a decision...)!" But all I really need has already been provided for me: I am in right standing with God through what I believe Jesus did for me on the cross. His sacrifice saved me from eternal torture and death and the grasp of daily sins and sin habits. These are the things from which I really need saving.
But that's not to say God isn't doing something in the midst of my external circumstances. He allows me to experience these so I can practice reaching up to Him and admit that only He can work to make this His story, not mine.
When God promised Abraham he'd have as many descendants as the stars in the sky, it was not given because of something Abraham did or would do. It was based on God's decision to put everything together for Abraham. The fulfillment of God's promise depends entirely on trusting God and His way and then simply embracing Him and what He does.

When everything was hopeless, Abraham believed anyway, deciding to live not on the basis of what he saw he couldn’t do but on what God said he would do. And so he was made father of a multitude of peoples. God himself said to him, “You’re going to have a big family, Abraham!”
Abraham didn’t focus on his own impotence and say, “It’s hopeless. This hundred-year-old body could never father a child.” Nor did he survey Sarah’s decades of infertility and give up. He didn’t tiptoe around God’s promise asking cautiously skeptical questions. He plunged into the promise and came up strong, ready for God, sure that God would make good on what he had said. That’s why it is said, “Abraham was declared fit before God by trusting God to set him right.” But it’s not just Abraham; it’s also us! The same thing gets said about us when we embrace and believe the One who brought Jesus to life when the conditions were equally hopeless. The sacrificed Jesus made us fit for God, set us right with God. Romans 4:18-25, Message

Have you believed in the perfect sacrifice of Jesus' life in place of yours? If so, in what area do you need to quit striving, quit working long and hard and let God do the work to fulfill His promise in your life: good plans, prosperous plans that build a hopeful future. 

Step

I love the living and active Word of God. I love that I can read the exact same passage maybe 20 times and the next time see something new.

Every place that the sole of your foot will tread upon I have given to you, just as I promised to Moses. Joshua 1:3

God couldn't give the land to the Israelites until they walked into it. If we don't step, we don't obtain. Like the Israelites, we need to take the first step toward God's promise.
I have this debilitating fear within as I think about taking new territory. I have this dream, this great big dream, bigger than anything ever before. But if I don't step out, how can God give?
Faith means believing that He's done it and it's already done while you wait for the details to sort themselves out. Though we may feel uncomfortable before that step of faith, after we begin, we may look back and wonder, of what was I so fearful?
When we first moved to the south metro, I was petrified of driving. I remember my first trip out to buy groceries. Bundled up in the cold with my 3-year old, GPS in hand, taking deep breaths, praying for God's strength and confidence as I navigated the "city" of Apple Valley. Today, I look back and laugh. Seriously? Apple Valley? This is not the city, this is my backyard: easy and comfortable.
You know that feeling of returning home after a long trip or a short, exhausting trip? At last, home! The hum of the furnace, the familiar look of decor, the stinky feet smell in the front closet...it's just home. When the Israelites stepped into Canaan, it just felt like home. This is true in our lives, when God gives us a dream and direction and we obediently step out, we may find, it feels like home.
Three times in Joshua 1:6-9, God commands Joshua, to be "strong and courageous...only be strong and very courageous...I command you, be strong and courageous...for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go." Even when I step out of my safe zone, I am not alone. At the end of Joshua chapter 1, even the officers of the Israelites tell him, "Only, be strong and courageous Joshua." Why are we waiting? Step.
Where is God nudging you to be strong, courageous and take that step? In a relationship, a prior fear, a ministry, work, your health... Read Joshua 1:6-9 placing your name into the scripture and believe God's promise to you as you take that first step.

Too easy

Self-diagnosed, I feel the beginning stages of arthritis every time I ring out a rag or twist off a canning jar ring. I tell the engineer, "I'm going to have arthritis just like grandma and I haven't worked near as hard as she did in her life. Pathetic!"
For years, I've been thinking it: My life is too easy; I feel too incredibly blessed. Mostly, these thoughts come to me as I think about the lives of my grandmothers. How different my life is compared to theirs. I garden because I love the feel of the earth in my hands and the flavorful benefits; they gardened out of necessity because it put food on the table for the year to come. One grandma worked outside the home to make ends meet; the five years I worked outside the home, it was to feel a sense a normalcy and self-worth. The other grandma farmed alongside her husband because there was no other way to get the work done and a harvest reaped; I pack a lunch for the engineer to take to work. She sewed everything; I like Kohl's and Amazon.com while leaving sewing in the hobby category.
James Dobson has said that hard times create emotional and physical toughness. The opposite is also true; ease and abundance create weakness. It is possible that God may in fact allow adversity to make us stronger (When God Doesn't Make Sense, 1993, pg. 150).
Going through a trial in my own life right now, an opportunity to trust God even though I do not understand, I "almost kinda" wish my past was harder. I remember just having purchased a fixer-upper, Taco John's 6-pack and a pound in my hand, a one-year old and two-year old sitting with me at the picnic table left behind by the previous owners, thinking, This is impossible. There is too much to accomplish. I can't do this! Fast forward a year, house in operating order and the engineer is traveling 12-weeks straight, maybe seeing the girls and I for 12 or at most, 24-hours a week, thinking, I hate my life. I can't be a single mom. It's too taxing. A few years later: our basement flooding and working like gangbusters to move everything upstairs with no clue how high the waters will rise, God, I can't go on. I don't have the strength. I'm overwhelmed. Looking back, I see that those times made me stronger. I came through those adversities stronger physically, emotionally and spiritually. And I "almost kinda" wish I had more rough times. (But who seriously wishes for those out-loud?)

Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. James 1:2-4

All joy? As I wrestle through my own trial, I need to think, "joy"? So I choose not to shrink back. To thank God for this opportunity to grow in faith and trust in God's divine interruption of my life in order to make me complete, lacking nothing. Will you welcome the rough roads? I think it's easier when I take a step back and envision what it will look like to have grown. To consider how God might strengthen me. Yes, maybe my life is easier than Grandma's, but God uses opportunities for growth that are perfectly designed for my bent. I choose to trust Him with all joy.

Surely Shirley

I still can picture her. A tiny little frame with perfectly colored and curled hair, ninety plus years of age saying, "You won't forget my name: Shirley. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life." Dad's aunt Shirley from Hull, Iowa, using her name and her years of wisdom to testify to the faithfulness of Jesus.

Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord forever. Psalm 23:6

For whatever reason, I woke in the middle of the night saying that verse, picturing her face over and over again. I didn't know really know Shirley. Who really gets to know their dad's aunts? She's in heaven now, but I bet her life wasn't always a bundle of roses. I bet she faced rough times in her marriage, finances, parenting, community and church. Drought, job loss, death... Yet in the last days of her life, she testified to God's goodness and mercy all the days of her life.
This inspires me. Overall, God's given me a good life: a husband I can't wait to wrap my arms around at the end of every work day, three healthy daughters who are learning what it means to walk with Jesus, way more house than I need, a garden I can get my hands dirty in, time to express my heart in words, friends that pray for me, parents and siblings that accept me. But then there's the tough stuff: babies I didn't get to hold, years of disconnection and disappointment in marriage, the willfully disobedient toddler years, the hormonal roller-coaster tween years, moving from close friends, burying my eleven-year old nephew, changing families... These things I'd like to forget; in which I hardly see goodness and mercy.

The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters. He restores my soul. He leads me in paths of righteousness for His name's sake. Psalm 23:1-3

God loving leads us through all of it. He provides rest, refreshment and restoration as we need. He doesn't make a wrong turn. All the circumstances of our life refine us and bring Him glory. ALL the days of our life, not just the good ones. He uses those rough days we'd like to forget to shape us more like Jesus. We must accept these realities that we can not change. Maybe He knows we couldn't learn to be like Jesus, couldn't get truth through our thick-skulls if there weren't hardships. In the hardship, He reveals Himself to us so we can mirror Him. Even in those ugly times, He's still leading perfectly and gives gifts of goodness & mercy that follow us around like little chicks following their mother.
Every time I go to the grocery store with all three golden heads, I feel this phenomena. I can't get rid of them. Seriously, they're 12, 11 and 8, but they follow me, nearly stepping on my heels. And while this can be infuriating, suffocating and feel like leeches, I've never lost them in a large store and that's a good thing! Just like a baby chick won't leave their momma, neither will God's inherent goodness and mercy leave those He leads. Granted sometimes for a while, that goodness and mercy might be disguised, in the most tiny form (barely a bud), or seem a nuisance, but goodness and mercy are present. God promises they are present all the days of our lives.
Whether you're in the middle of the good, lush green grasses or you think your surroundings look like desert, choose to trust God's leading you and His plan and purpose is for goodness and mercy to be nipping at your heels, even if you don't quite yet understand.

Valley

When you're sitting in the valley, sometimes you just need time. Right there in the valley. No hurry to get out. You just want to sit. Not because you feel sorry for yourself but you just want to be. How many hours would I love to sit with my hands wrapped around something warm, nestled in a blanket and staring out at the hills just thinking? Pondering God. Considering majesty. Wondering His purposes. Is it wrong for me to be here?
I wonder how long Jesus let the angels minister to Him after His fast and then temptation from Satan in the desert.

Then the devil left (Jesus), and behold, angels came and were ministering to Him. Matthew 4:11

We can't know for sure, but I bet Jesus sat there and let the angels comfort and provide for Him for more than ten minutes before moving on to begin His public ministry in Galilee. He had fasted for forty days then faced extreme temptation, maybe He let Himself rest there in that safe, comforting place for a couple days or weeks. God provided for His Son, why wouldn't Jesus just want to stay? I'd want to. And I think nestled in this safe, quiet spot, I'd like to stay a while too.
This sitting, considering and pondering is part of my waiting for the Lord, being strong and letting my heart take courage (Psalm 27:14). He comes to me here. He comforts me here, ministers to me here and waters my tiny seed of faith that it might become of bud of trust. And yes, I may cry here. But why wouldn't that be okay? God made me with emotions and He reaches my heart in the middle of my emotions.
"It's okay, to not be okay. This is a safe place," begin the lyrics of the song by Plumb. If you're in a valley, it's okay. But don't be in the valley alone. Let Jesus minister to you there. Even if it doesn't look like a structured Bible Study or devotional time. He ministers in many different ways. Just be sure you're with Him there. Real comfort comes from no other place and just as Jesus moved on to begin His ministry, in God's time we will too.

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil, for You are with me,
Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me. Psalm 23:4 

I believe that I shall look upon the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living! Psalm 27:13

Fear

Emotions of unbelief, joy, thrill and fear engulf me as I ponder what should be simply good news. What is wrong with me? Why can't I just be joyful? Why am I so scared to accept this new assignment from God? So scared of trusting the call, giving 100% and falling short of fulfilling the mission. The "what-if" scenarios fill my reasoning and fight to steal my joy.

The account of Joseph, husband of Mary, grips my attention (Matthew 1:18-25). Joseph, engaged (as good as married) to Mary, realizes she's pregnant and knows that he's not the father. He has not been intimate with Mary. Intimacy would wait until the wedding ceremony in the months to come. We can only imagine the sear of emotions Joseph might have felt: shock, betrayal, deceived, ashamed, anger... In my experience men are most often problem-solvers. They like to fix, so Joseph was resolving the situation in his mind: what would be best for him and his family; Mary and her family? (After all, she could be stoned for finding herself in this condition.) And then, during one possibly fitful night of sleep, something happens that cannot be dismissed.

But as (Joseph) considered these things, behold, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream, saying, "Joseph, son of David, do not fear to take Mary as your wife, for that which is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. She will bear a son, and you shall call his name Jesus for he will save his people form their sins." Matthew 1:20-21

The word behold isn't a word we use in the English language too much, so I couldn't help but wonder its significance here. It means to call to attention something external or exterior to oneself; it often comes before words which are to be particularly noted. It's like throwing fifty exclamation points after the sentence for emphasis. It's screaming, "Pay attention, what's about to happen is huge!"

An angel comes to Joseph and says do no be afraid to take the next steps because God is doing something huge! And what does Joseph do? He obeys and he chooses to trust that everything thing the angel said was true even though he doesn't know all of the details.

There's such hope for us in this part of Jesus' arrival as the God-Man. God takes what was shameful and hard to believe and he makes it great. In Joseph's case, God implements the plan to save mankind.

Okay, so maybe situations in our lives won't be quite so huge, but our lives are important to God. Every detail of our lives is recorded in God's book of life (Psalm 139:16). And I feel like this little verse in Matthew 1:20 is for all of us, And while we're considering the things in our life we'd like to forget because it hurts, or we're ashamed, or it embarrasses us, God says, BEHOLD, I'm going to do something huge with this! Our job right now is to trust God with the details, just like Joseph did. Did you notice the first thing the angel said to Joseph? "Do not be afraid..." We need to trust without fear. We can't truly say we trust God if we hold onto fear in the back of our heads. Okay, God's given this, but if it doesn't last or work out then... That's not faith.

Faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we can not see. Hebrews 11:1

Faith is being confident in God's plan unfolding in your life. Trusting in every day He has ordained for your life. Being secure in the belief that He will work out all the hills and valleys of your life out for ultimate good, even though He may not tell you the outline of His plan. It's accepting what He's placed on your plate without a having a contingency backup plan.
So when you feel like me and you're afraid to trust God with complete abandon, recall the angel that appeared to Joseph, and his words, "(Your name), child of Christ, Do not fear..." to take these next steps!

Dreaming

I value dreaming. Possibly even daydreaming. How many times has the boisterous one waved her growing hand in front of my face saying, "Mom. Mom! Are you lost in a daydream?" I believe it healthy to look forward and anticipate something whether its a lunch date with your husband or a family vacation. God wants us to be excited to receive His gifts.

However, sometimes things don’t turn out the way we expected. You anticipated your date ending with cuddling by the fireplace but it ends in a fight. The "surprise" vacation was found out by the golden heads and was a stressful time in your family relationships instead of the bonding time you anticipated. The newborn child you anticipated welcoming into your fold slipped into Jesus' arms before he could make it to your nursery.

Some of these disappointments are more heart wrenching than others. But I'm going to ask the hard question (which is much easier to apply to the date gone nightmare than a lost child). What if in being focused on what you wanted (your dream), you missed what God gave? Missed the skyline He painted for you. Missed the opportunity to encourage. Missed the rich, bold taste of your coffee. Missed the feel of your child’s hand tucked in yours. Missed the smell of summer rain (when it’s winter at home). Why would you miss these? Because you focused on the disappointment of your dream. You focused on yourself.
It's easier to see God's gifts in the good times than the difficult times.

Which one of you, if his son asks him for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a serpent? If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him! Matthew 7:9-11

The Jews had been waiting for a promised leader for centuries when Jesus arrived on the scene as an infant. The prophets has predicted the arrival of a savior, a Messiah. The Jews believed this savior would come as a powerful, mighty, earthly king and deliver them from Roman oppression and rule the nation in perfect justice. Many Jews had overlooked the prophet Isaiah who predicted a suffering servant who would be rejected and killed (Isaiah 52:13-53:12).
A few recognized this Messiah, in Jesus, the Son of God becoming a man to establish a heavenly kingdom. Thank goodness these select few shared how they saw Jesus, by writing and telling the message to others. Because of their firm belief, we can see God today.

Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness for they will be satisfied... Blessed are the pure in heart for they will see God... Matthew 5:6, 8

But how often am I like the Jews who didn't recognize their savior? I get so wrapped up in how I believe God should paint the story of my life I forget He (not me) has the blueprints of my future. I focus on my disappointment, not His gifts.
I don't know how deep your disappointment is today. Maybe you grieve over a lost Saturday or a lost child. They're both grief. But I know this, God is there (Psalm 139:7-12). In the midst of your disappointment, don't miss Jesus. You'll usually find His fingerprints in the details.

Why the dark?

Like the rainy, stormy weather this past week, so has been the dark cloud hovering over me. Feelings of uncertainty, heavy-heartedness, and lethargic slowness billow over my being. I don't even know from where these feelings come. I'm a serious person, but not a Debbie-downer.

Good and upright is the LORD;
therefore He instructs sinners in the way.
He leads the humble in what is right,
and teaches the humble His way.
All the paths of the LORD are steadfast love and faithfulness,
for those who keep His covenant and His testimonies.  Psalm 25:8-10

I try do what's right. I sit before the LORD and ask Him to return to me the joy of my salvation. I ask why. I recall His faithfulness. I count my gifts. But the heaviness continues and I feel the blow of being hit by a freight-train. I want to know His way. I want certainty in His direction. My theology believes in His faithfulness but I want to see the purpose of this right now!
What matters is treading with Him! I may never understand this heaviness and uncertainty, but if I am abiding in Him, despite my burdened feelings, even this heavy path is one He's on with me. All the paths of the Lord are steadfast love and faithfulness.
These feelings don't mean that I've derailed. Though I should make sure I don't have unconfessed sin hindering my relationship with Jesus, but if nothing seems unconfessed, then I must just accept that I am only human and I am allowed to feel the whole gamut of emotions. I can still choose to tread with Jesus, to know He's beside me in the darkness ,and that He is good and upright and soon the sun will come out while the dark clouds move on toward the east like after a morning rain.
Do you find yourself in a dark spot wondering why? If anyone understands, it's Jesus. As His time to walk the road to the cross drew near and came upon Him, Jesus knew the darkness. Talk to Jesus about your circumstance. Choose to believe that even this dark path is one He will remain on with you and His love remains with you. I'd love to pray for you, that the sunshine on your heart would rise. Email me here.

Someone

"Well, I had to yell at someone and mommy was the only one home to yell at!" she verbally reasoned. While I didn't enjoy the hour of verbal abuse, I was more concerned with the heart of the matter: training her in the way she should go, teaching her Jesus' way of love and confronting anger.
Kevin Leman on parenting has revealed to me the wisdom of allowing my golden heads to experience natural consequences. But not knowing the best consequence (no sleepover, no swim party, no bonfire, make dinner for a week, doing sister's chores, doing dishes for a week...) my heart became anxious.

O Lord, my heart is not lifted up;
my eyes are not raised too high;
I do not occupy myself with things too great and too marvelous for me.
But I have calmed and quieted my soul,
like a weaned child with its mother;
like a weaned child is my soul within me.
O Israel, hope in the Lord from this time forth and forevermore. Psalm 131

O mom, hope in God! Wait for God to mold this young heart. Expect that He will do His work in His time, today, tomorrow and always. I can't really know her heart. I can't truly discern her ways. It's too complex for my simple mind to understand. But God knows this face, this heart and what every day of her life beholds (Psalm 139:13-16).
And because I know God's got this golden heart, I can choose to calm my heart, my emotions, my mind, my whole character chooses to be calm. I take a deep breath and remember His control and His trustworthiness.
I trust that my heavenly Father knows best and is in control. Like a momma that knows when it's best to wean a nursing child, even if an infant isn't so sure. It's a natural next step. So also my Father knows best how to direct my child and my parenting, though the process might be grueling.
This anxiety isn't limited to parenting. You might be perusing Facebook and become burdened, concerned and disturbed with broadcasted choices. You could sense a call to something new and different but not know any details of this great unknown. You might desire something so badly yet not know if your will aligns with God's.
Deep breath. God's got her. God's got him. God's got you. God knows best. But maybe in the thick of the unsettledness, the unknown, you need to yell as someone. Please don't yell at your mom. She didn't sign up for that. Goodness knows, I didn't. But take your pleadings, anxiety and verbal shoutings to God. Pour your heart out before Him. Like weaning, the process is painful, but the outcome is peaceful, best and the bond between you and God is tightened because the process builds trust. And like a faithful parent, God's in it every step of the way.
What is your heart anxious or heavy with today? Will you choose to trust God's control over the circumstance and quiet your soul?

Watching and stilling

It's 4:51 in the morning and it begins. Decide the final plans for the coming weekend. Turn the sprinklers on in the garden. She asked me to make scones (presumedly for my birthday breakfast). I should finish the laundry before the golden heads wake. Practice this morning at 10am. Oh no, she still needs a slip to wear with her skirt tomorrow. And with my mind whirling, I figure, might as well wake up and get going.

My typical notion is that if I wake early enough (long before anyone else) I can escape any demands and expectations from others and sip my morning coffee and be with Him, my Maker. But this morning, I thought I'd get a few things done first: scones, laundry, email, watering... An hour later, I finally set the coffee to drip and something out of ordinary catches my eye while stopping my heart. What was that? Perched on the deck railing was an adult red-tailed hawk. I froze, taking in the wonder. Two, no three, things immediately came to my mind.

1. Man, that thing is huge.
2. Roz on Monsters Inc, "I'm watching you, always watching you."
3. Should I sneak away and grab my camera?

Enough is enough with the things to do! Spend time with Jesus, my Maker. Yes, He's watching me scuttle about, but delights in my quiet moments, my quiet heart before Him.

God is our refuge and strength,
a very present help in trouble.
Therefore we will not fear though the earth gives way,
though the mountains be moved into the heart of the sea,
though its waters roar and foam,
though the mountains tremble at its swelling. 

There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God,
the holy habitation of the Most High.
God is in the midst of her; she shall not be moved;
God will help her when morning dawns.
The nations rage, the kingdoms totter;
He utters his voice, the earth melts.
The Lord of hosts is with us;
the God of Jacob is our fortress. 

Come, behold the works of the Lord,
how He has brought desolations on the earth.
He makes wars cease to the end of the earth;
He breaks the bow and shatters the spear;
He burns the chariots with fire.
“Be still, and know that I am God.
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth!”
The Lord of hosts is with us;
the God of Jacob is our fortress. Psalm 46

Nothing happens in my day that takes Him by surprise. Nothing that He can't control or destroy in an instant. Only when I let Him live and thrive within me can I be full of joy and completely solid and strong. I just need these few quiet minutes with Him, to be still. To stop and be sure He is on the throne of my heart. Then trust and fully believe that He is in control of every aspect of this day, month, year and His plans for me are for my good.

And who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his span of life? ... Therefore, do not be anxious saying, "What shall we eat?" or "What shall we wear?" for the Gentiles seek after these things and your Heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first, the kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things will be added to you. Matthew 6:27, 31-33

Are you intentionally setting aside your worries and choosing to stop, rest in Jesus and express your trust in His righteous plan for your life? He's watching you. He's got you. No matter the worry or list of things to do this day, express your trust in His perfect power and protection.

Wait

As I laid on the bed throwing a 36-year old temper tantrum, I cried out to God, "I don't want to do this! Make it stop! Take this away!" I didn't like my situation at all and I wanted it changed, NOW! I wanted to grab the engineer's attention, explain my woes, he would take my side and make everything right. Fortunately, as I look back, I couldn't get his attention at the moment and I was left to sit in my sensory discomfort. Somehow, I got through my own selfish desires of that afternoon and it wasn't until later that I realized God's answer to my prayer in His perfect timing.

For God alone my soul waits in silence;
from him comes my salvation.
He alone is my rock and my salvation,
my fortress; I shall not be greatly shaken. Psalm 62:1-2

Okay, so I wasn't waiting in silence. I was made to wait...at least for a couple hours. It wasn't until later that day, when I had calmed down and God gave me glorious gifts in the moments with my family that I realized, He did rescue. He calmed my nerves, gave me peace and compassion toward those I was deeply furious. Only God could do that. He's my only hope of rescue.

For God alone, O my soul, wait in silence,
for my hope is from him.
He only is my rock and my salvation,
my fortress; I shall not be shaken.
On God rests my salvation and my glory;
my mighty rock, my refuge is God.
Trust in him at all times, O people;
pour out your heart before him;
God is a refuge for us. Psalm 62:5-8

On our day with the boisterous one at Valleyfair, we decided to ride Thunder Canyon where the signs caution, "You might WILL get wet!" No lie; we were drenched. And she was furiously uncomfortable in her short denim shorts and squeaky wet socks and sneakers. She just wanted it fixed, to be dry, NOW! Oh, how I could relate to that sweet little seven-year-old temper tantrum. 

You know what? God did comfort me with my sensory issues and He did dry the boisterous one's shorts (and provide a pair of flip flops.) He always rescues, but sometimes He says wait first.

And I wonder what He means for us to learn in the waiting. 

Once God has spoken;
twice have I heard this:
that power belongs to God,
and that to you, O Lord, belongs steadfast love.
For you will render to a man
according to his work. Psalm 62:11-12

God wants us to trust in His power and love toward us. Not others (the engineer or parents.) Not money. Not earthly judges. Not government. Not ourselves. He is true power and His love for us is unstoppable! And He's wondering if we really believe it and will choose to wait in trust for His rescue.

Sometimes it's so uncomfortable to sit in your squeaky wet clothes! You do want to scream. (By all means, go for it.) But will you choose to take a deep breath and say to God, "I trust you enough to wait for your rescue in this situation."

Now

I was ugly. I was impatient. I was irritable. I was frustrated. At the root of it all, I wasn't trusting God. We had looked forward to this day at Valleyfair with the boisterous one since Christmas and the pain shot and pierced from my back to my middle. How would this day look when I couldn't enjoy any attractions and one-on-one moments with my dear child? How long would the day feel if all I did was wait on the bench while she and the engineer went on ride after ride without me? There was so much uncertainty. What if I went on a ride despite my ailment and was left completely debilitated for days?
As I slowly hinged at the waist to tie my shoes, I thought about how I wasn't trusting God's plan for my today, even though I've applauded many obedient believers who have trusted God. I wanted so badly to trust and I know that God is trustworthy, but I couldn't cross that line.
I envisioned gratitude saving my day if I was forced to sit and wait through each ride by myself. I would consciously choose to thank God for every gift: sunshine, leaves, blue hair, smiles, missing teeth, the smell of wet clothes...
On the other side of our day at Valleyfair, I see God's faithfulness and provision. I was able to ride and my back feels none the worse (maybe better). As I confess my bitterness and lack of trust, I realize that truly what matters is trusting God's plan for my now. This ailment has made me realize that

• sometimes God calls my now to be serving others
• sometimes God calls my now to be resting in Him
• sometimes God calls my now to be trusting in His provision.

God told the rebellious Israelites through Isaiah, "In returning and rest you shall be saved; in quietness and in trust shall be your strength," (Isaiah 30:15.) The Israelites were unwilling to return, rest, be still and trust in God's plan for their now (especially when their nation's future seemed so uncertain) and so God let them go to their own demise.
I'm so used to doing. I have a heritage of doing. When you're Dutch, you serve; it's what you do. But this ailment has often denied me the opportunity to do anything (literally). And God, in His generosity toward me, showed me how He loves me through the engineer. My programmed brain believes that if I can serve my husband and if I can do more for him, he'll love me more. Yet, in his constant concern with how I'm feeling, his offered hand of assistance, his consistent meeting my needs and then embracing me when I least expect it and saying, "I love you," when I couldn't do anything, I see that my worthiness of love has nothing to do with what I accomplish. That's how God loves me. I don't have to do anything and He loves me and delights in me even when I can't do anything (Zephaniah 3:17).
I trust He will call me to work for Him again. God's given me a passion and love for serving others, but that may not be His plan for my now.

"O Lord, in the morning you hear my voice; in the morning I prepare a sacrifice for you and watch." Psalm 5:3

I never know how I'm going to feel each morning: could be great, could be awful. But every morning, I can come to Jesus and say, Here I am. Here's my now. I trust in Your plan for my now. And then I watch Him show up.
How is God calling you to trust His plan for your now? Will you choose to rest in the truth that your worthiness of love has nothing to do with what you can accomplish? He simply loves you for being you!

Copy

Cumulus clouds stand out in stark contrast against the intense red sunrise in the northern horizon. Different from the blanket of loose clouds above them, the way these hold their shape and definition captivates my attention. And I ponder, how would I be defined by appearance and externals? I met a lot of new moms yesterday at a field trip with the calculating one and wonder what these women saw in me. How would they describe me? What did they notice about me? It seems what's going on inside a person always finds a way to bubble to the surface (Luke 6:45; Proverbs 4:23).

Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice. Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand... Philippians 4:4-5

Let my reasonableness be known to everyone. The NIV translates it gentleness; the NLT: consideration; the KJV: moderation. By definition, it means equitable, fair-minded, gentle. It's greek root words literally translate to copy over. What am I suppose to copy over? I believe it's connected to the next phrase: the Lord is at hand. To show the world what God looks like. He is near, fair, gentle and in control of every detail of my life.

If am conscious of God's sovereign orchestration of all things in my life for His glory and my good, this will be apparent to those around me. And Paul goes on to tell us what this looks like on us:

...do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7

• Joy, joy, joy, joy
• Absence of anxiety
• Communication with God
• Trust
• Gratitude
• Peace

If these attributes were true of one, that person would stand out against the normal culture of fear, anxiety, selfishness and complaint like the cumulus cloud in my morning sunrise.

But how do I start? Again, Paul does not leave us hanging, he says, start with your thoughts.

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you. Philippians 4:8-9

And so when adversity creeps my way and I'm tempted to chameleon to the world's pattern of complaint and self-centeredness, sirens of alert should be going off in my head. STOP! Change course. I want to stand out against the crowd, I want to copy Jesus. Guard my thoughts. In this particularly challenging situation, what is 

• True
• Honorable
• Just
• Pure
• Lovely
• Admirable
• Excellent
• Worthy of praise?

By choosing to direct my thought patterns, my reasonableness will be known by those around me so they can see what Jesus is like. Jesus is different than the world we live in. He is love, joy, peace, patient, kind, good, faithful, gentle and controlled. I choose to copy Him.
What situation are you facing today that you need to stop and adjust your thought patterns so that what's in your heart beautifully bubbles up to the top and mirrors Jesus to the people in your sphere of influence? 

War within

It's almost bedtime. I'm tired and I finally see the text sent three-hours ago. The message sends waves of disappointment and loneliness pulsing through my veins. Disappointment morphs into anger. Sensing a a fork in my path (one path toward the chocolate and the other to God's rescue) I choose to grab my New Living Translation and nestle into bed by the lamplight with the psalms.
Though it's hard to focus on the meaning and depth of the words, my mind distracted and emotions searing. Yet, these words stand out boldly:

Those who live in the shelter of the Most High
will find rest in the shadow of the Almighty.
This I declare about the Lord:
He alone is my refuge, my place of safety;
he is my God, and I am trusting Him. Psalm 91:1-2

Read and reread but I can't concentrate. I take a bath and try to repeat the words from the verse the best I can, "refuge, safe place, I am trusting Him." This is only half my brain really. Anger had given way to fear and anxiety in a situation I could do nothing about. And I know this is Satan.

God most often appeals to my will by reason.
Satan most often appeals to my emotions. Satan attacks my reason and confuses an issue.  (The Pursuit of Holiness, Jerry Bridges.)

I feel a full out battle raging within me: truth of God vs. the lies of Satan. In retrospect, I had no reason to fear. It wasn't logical to fear. There was no evidence that should lead to fear. Yet, in that moment, the fear and anxiety were so real. Fear smells like Satan's weaponry.
Hot and sweaty from my bath, I return to my bed and reread the words of the Psalm, trying to pray while drifting off to sleep. It's hard to turn off emotions. To choose to echo the true words of the psalmist: God's weaponry.
In the morning, I feel better and I visit with God about what happened. (I have a friend that asks God, "What was that about?") And suddenly I realize though I was home alone that night, I never felt alone. Spiritually, I wasn't alone. God's Holy Spirit was with me the whole time saying, This is the way, walk in it (Isaiah 30:21); Immanuel, God with us (Isaiah 7:14). And I realize that in the morning, my thoughts aren't so muddled. Suddenly my reason returns. God most often appeals to my choices by reason.
The battle was intense. At one crossroad, I choose God's way, yet at another, I fell victim to Satan's emotional attack. Though in the morning, I totally choose God and He responds to my choice in Psalm 91. Read these verses putting your name in the blank. God wants to respond to your choice. 

Because _____ holds fast to me in love, I will deliver her; I will protect _____ because she knows My name. When ______ calls to Me, I will answer her; I will be with her in trouble; I will rescue her and honor her with long life I satisfy _____ and show her my salvation. Psalm 91:14-16

"Christ"mas

It keeps reverberating in my head, Pastor Bruce’s question in his first Advent sermon this year, “How do you keep materialism out of Christmas?”

We went Black Friday shopping as an extended family outing. It did not bode well for my first-grader. She kept wanting everything and we kept saying, “Well, Christmas isn’t far away. We’ll add it to your list. You can’t have that (or that, or that or that) today.” Toward the end of the outing, she was moping alongside her shopping grandma when she said, “I just see all this stuff and I want it all. I know I shouldn’t feel that way.” Christmas in America creates a mentality of materialism.

Along with materialism, how do we not get caught up in the chaotic preparations for celebrating? As Christ-followers, how do we remember to dwell with Jesus, the “Christ” in Christmas?

Visiting with a friend after church last Sunday, she shared her experience of being miserably sick with the flu last Christmas. She expressed that all the things she had to do went undone and Christmas still happened. And she still experienced joy.

For thus said the Lord God, the Holy One of Israel, ‘In returning and rest you shall be saved; in quietness and in trust shall be your strength.’  Isaiah 30:15

In this verse, we see how we might save Christmas from materialism and chaos. By sitting, with coffee cup and Bible in hand, resting in Jesus. In stopping daily to confess my mess-ups to Jesus. Driving in silence; talking and listening to God instead of the radio. In making a to-do-list but verbally telling God that I trust He will allow me to accomplish exactly what He desires for this day. By prioritizing Jesus, not things, stuff, events or my infamous “to do list.” (Someone please tell me I’m not alone with my lists…) By choosing to stop your family once a day and read an Advent devotional (or any Scripture). Through our example, those in our sphere of influence (family, friends and neighbors) will see the Christ in Christmas, not the materialism or busyness.

Are you prioritizing Christ in Christmas? How will you choose to return and rest this December?

Please

As we sat around the Thanksgiving feast, the golden heads pointed out that the table (passed down from their great grandma) was leaning. Acknowledging the antique, my mother-in-law said, "Yeah, I should have taken up my mom on her offer to buy me a new dining room set." She had confidence in her mother's ability and desire to purchase a new dining set, but she didn't accept. God's offer, though much more significant, is free to us, desired by Him and all we need to do is say yes.

And without faith it is impossible to please Him, for whoever would draw near to God must believe that He exists and that He rewards those who seek Him. Hebrews 11:6

Believing in God's plan to rescue us from death through Jesus' death on the cross is the only way to please God. The greek for please is euarestéo, which means to gratify completely. If we break this greek word apart, we get eu (to be well off, prosper) and airó (to raise, elevate, draw up). Looking deeply into airó, we get the picture of God drawing us up out of death and sin and making us completely clean, separated from all sin. And this is what makes him well off, tickles His fancy or delights Him: to draw us up out of our filth! Do you catch the irony here? We don't do anything; we simply believe He is the one true God that has a plan to save us. It delights God to pick me up and polish me until I shine, and He does all the work. Can you imagine if the only way my mother-in-law could delight her mother was if she said, "Yes, get me that new dining set,"?

"Come now, let us reason together," says the Lord. "Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be white as snow; though they are red like crimson, they shall become like wool." Isaiah 1:18

Completely non-sensical! God says, "Here, give me all you have, are and will ever do wrong and I'll give you perfection." My only part is to have faith, trust, confidence assurance in His ability to do this. He offers and all I need to do is say yes. In our economy of you get what you pay for, this seems too good to be true.

If you've never accepted God's offer to lift you up and take your filth, spend time in conversation with Him. He wants to be generous with you. I beg you to take Him up on it. There's no other way to enter His presence and gratify Him completely. 

Changes

It's the end of summer and my potted plants look rough; the pansies have long bit the dust; weeds have taken over the garden, lawn and landscape; the pool has a film of algae clinging to its sides; the house hasn't been vacuumed in a month, (don't even ask about the layer of dust on the mantle); I have more green beans in the fridge than I care preserve; the school supplies are sold out in the store; the birds don't sing as loudly; and the sun peaks later each day. In contrast, the mums look gorgeous; hints of red are popping out on the neighbor's maple trees; the acorn squash blossoms flourish; the golden head's lockers and desks are loaded with supplies after open houses; and invitations have been sent for fall ministries. There's something sad yet beautiful about this transition. Defeating yet victorious about this shifting.

For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven:
a time to be born, and a time to die;
a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;
a time to kill, and a time to heal;
a time to break down, and a time to build up;
a time to weep, and a time to laugh;
a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together;
a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
a time to seek, and a time to lose;
a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
a time to tear, and a time to sew;
a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
a time to love, and a time to hate;
a time for war, and a time for peace.
What gain has the worker from his toil? I have seen the business that God has given to the children of man to be busy with. He has made everything beautiful in its time. Also, he has put eternity into man's heart, yet so that he cannot find out what God has done from the beginning to the end. I perceived that there is nothing better for them than to be joyful and to do good as long as they live; also that everyone should eat and drink and take pleasure in all his toil—this is God's gift to man. Eccelsiates 3:1-13

The wise King Solomon teaches us that God makes "everything beautiful in its time." Sometimes the beauty is yet to come: like when the seeds have just been buried underground. And sometimes the beauty is over: like the thirty birthdays cards and written wishes from friends and family. Beautiful and edifying then, but now just scrawls on a page.
Solomon also instructs us that God "has put eternity into man's heart." God has put a longing and desire for eternity with Him in our souls. Indeed He has given us eternal life that begins when we first know Jesus Christ. "And this is eternal life, that they know you the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom you have sent," John 17:3. And though our eternal life begins at belief in Jesus Christ and leads us into His presence in heaven, we don't know the route. However, the route He leads us on is always on purpose and on time even though the seasons change and beauties come and go.

Solomon "perceived that there is nothing better for (us) than to be joyful and do good," as long as we live out our eternal life on this side of heaven. We should enjoy these changes God places strategically on our path. They are God's gifts to us.  

As you walk through your own transitions, do good and do well from a healthy, trusting attitude. To do otherwise would be to cling to a dead daisy when a beautiful mum is within your grasp.

Bondservants, obey your earthly masters with fear and trembling, with a sincere heart, as you would Christ, not by the way of eye-service, as people-pleasers, but as bondservants of Christ, doing the will of God from the heart, rendering service with a good will as to the Lord and not to man... Ephesians 6:5-7

Pasture

Paralyzed in my circumstance, I feel hopeless. Then I recall...

Trust in the LORD, and do good; so shalt thou dwell in the land, and verily thou shalt be fed. Psalm 37:3, KJV

A recent sermon on Psalm 37 opened my eyes to the richness of this verse in particular.  As I've studied more on my own, I think King James gets it right.
Trust in the LORD...the Hebrew word for trust is the verb batach. This action verb means to trust or trust in, have confidence in any one. We can choose to be secure in God's plan and purpose for the right now.
and do good...Because we trust in God's plan for right now, we are able to respond with kindness and goodness toward others.
so shalt thou dwell in the land...God wants us to be content in our circumstance (it's not a mistake, it's His will or plan). We can exhibit the fruits of the spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness and self-control (Galatians 5:22-23) wherever He's placed us. We can peacefully and securely settle down or abide with Him by our side.
and verily...the Hebrew translated verily means firmness, fidelity, steadfastness, steadiness, faithfulness.  God is a steady, faithful shepherd.
thou shalt be fed...is translated from a complex Hebrew word. It means

• to pasture, tend, graze, feed
• refers to a shepherd, a teacher or ruler, people, Israel as a nation
• implies meaning of pleasure and delight in companions or special friends

God is our shepherd, leading us where He wills and He wants us to take delight in His presence and those people He's placed in our lives. Because God is a steady, faithful shepherd, we can be confident that we will be fed. God leads us to fertile ground.

We tend to be people who always think the pasture is greener on the other side of the fence. My brother is a cattle farmer. He systematically and continually rotates his herds through the pasture land, making sure the cattle has sufficient green, lush grass to graze and access to fresh water. He's observing and making judgements based on weather, rainfall, and herd cycles. He knows what's best for the cattle. So God's perfect will knows what's best for us and right now, today, He's placed us where it's most beneficial for our spiritual and personal growth. We need to choose to be content here, find joy here and trust His timing and plan.

The LORD is my shepherd;
I shall not want,
He makes me lie down in green pastures,
He leads me beside still waters.
He restores my soul.
He leads me in paths of righteousness for His name's sake...Ps 23:1-3

Read through all of Psalm 23 picturing God as your perfect shepherd, knowing what's best for you, loving you, having a perfect plan for you. No matter your present circumstance, He's got you in the pasture that's best for you. "God, you're present, you've proven Yourself reliable throughout Scripture and in my life so far. Therefore, I can stay in the position where You've placed me, You are my trust."