Passion begins with discipline

This next phase of parenting almost blindsides me at times. There's so much for which no loving advice or book could really ever prepare you. However, there are plenty of gifts in the tween years. One gift is seeing life through a different lens. Our family brings seven different musical instruments (including vocals) to the table in the musical world. One of my mom duties includes making sure everyone practices 30-minutes a day. Short of bribery, this is a grueling task not often met with excitement and willingness. In the wake of this drudgery one day, I thought about the discipline learned. As a parent, we plead and urge our children into the discipline of practicing by oneself in the hopes that at some point, the playing becomes a desire, joy and pleasure to our child.
How beautiful this process is if it completes its goal: pleasure. How similar this is to spending time with Jesus. For nearly 25-years, spending time in God's Word and daily communing with Him was truly a discipline I was trying to develop. Sometimes I would do better than others and sometimes the discipline would completely cease. But it still was a discipline, not a desire as the psalmist wrote.

O, God you are my God; earnestly I seek you; my soul thirsts for you;
my flesh faints for you, as in a dry and weary land where there is no water.
Psalm 63:1

What a vivid picture of passion. Inductive Bible Study is what caused my discipline to cross over into passion. As I learned more and more, I realized that I could study my Creator God for the rest of my life and still not wrap my mind around His ways, character and attributes. Wow! That's my God. That's a God I can be excited to discover! For passion to begin and continue, it seems logical that we have to develop new methods, continually discovering ways to experience and relate to God. Some might include memorization, inductive Bible Study, fasting, meditating, different ways to pray, reflection, journaling, study of creation and reading through the Bible just to name a few. There isn't one set way to build your relationship with God. And sometimes we need to mix things up a bit. He created you uniquely you; He wants to meet you where you are and in the way He wired your brain.
At some point, I hope the golden heads develop a passion and love for music, but even more importantly, I pray they practice the discipline of relating to God that transpires into a passion and thirst for Him.
In your personal relationship with God, are you working on discipline or have you crossed over into passion in your relationship? Begin by asking God to give you a passion for Him. Pray Psalm 63 to Him. Then decided what discipline will you choose to implement this week or month? 

Messy

As I hurried to clean up the kitchen for the evening (dishes put away, dirty towels in the laundry, stainless steel sinks shining), the engineer dumps them in the sink. A pile of garden carrots, their dirt soiling the sink. Gardening is messy but rewarding, fulfilling and leaving a legacy in its own little way.

The rod and reproof give wisdom,
but a child left to himself brings shame to his mother.
When the wicked increase, transgression increases,
but the righteous will look upon their downfall.
Discipline your daughter, and she will give you rest;
she will give delight to your heart. Proverbs 29:15-17

This morning, I'm looking on my downfall. I've done too much complaining. I have the privilege of being the one to raise my girls practically 24-hours a day, teaching them, being with them and I complain. They annoy me, they aren't perfect and they have personalities that aren't just like mine (or are too much like mine) and I complain. I have a husband who values my role in training, who asks me when he comes home from work, "How'd it go today?" Yet I complain. I must choose gratitude and change.
The words rod, reproof and discipline  mean directing, guiding, correcting and letting natural consequences incur. They all imply that much time is spent with your child. When I see this word, I immediately see disciple. Jesus spent time with His disciples, teaching, training, working and living life. My call is to do life with my golden heads. This takes time and sacrifice.
So much would get lost in this generation of golden heads if I chose to follow the societal norm and secure my career. Instead, I choose to teach: how to keep a home, cooking, family meal planning, gardening, handiwork, and even graphic design. Will I ever look back on my life and think, I wish I would have had a career? Though there are times that the income from a second household income would be nice, I think, for what? To pay more taxes, more dining out, a larger grocery bill (because you buy more convince food), less margin in our lives, to pay day care, to miss special moments, to drive more miles? I'm convinced as I watch the coming generation, they want mom more than they want stuff or opportunities. And no matter your degree or trade, I'm convinced it can be used in many other venues: home, family, church or volunteer organizations.
I'm not saying be careless, leave work to disciple your children and leave your family in the financial red. Rather, realize what your priorities are. Your money and your calendar will quickly tell you your priorities. Then choose to be radical: change your spending and time in order to make discipling your children a priority. No doubt, it's messy, like the pile of dirt in the kitchen sink. Physically, financially, emotionally, spiritually messy!

Where there are no oxen, the manger is clean,
but abundant crops come by the strength of the ox. Proverbs 14:4

When my golden heads are gone from home, the house is clean and the introverted mother has silence and solitude. I have to admit, I love that, but with the mess the four of us leave behind as we're doing life together day to day, comes a great harvest of personal growth, responsibility, honesty, hard work, integrity, life skills and memories. I may not leave my golden heads with a pile of cash, designer clothes and expensive camps but I choose to do my part to leave them abundant crops.

Humbling. Different. Good. Enough.

After the dishwasher was loaded, the gifts put away and crumbs swept up, I felt overwhelmed. Not so much in an exhausted sense, but in a super-crazy blown-away blessed overwhelmedness. Fifteen guests, 1400 miles on their cars, gifts, late night driving and nine excited kids came together to celebrate cousin birthdays. It's different to be the recipient of the gift.
I wonder if that's how Jesus' disciples felt. They followed Jesus to desolate places and the crowds came as well. When Jesus saw the physical need for food, He provided that need and used the hands and feet of the disciples. Just imagine the disciples serving, as part of Jesus' miracle, distributing the seven loaves of bread and two fish that fed over 4000 people (with left-overs besides). You feel blessed to be part of God's work, to love and give to others what God's provided. Hours later, the disciples find themselves on the boat and have little food to spare amongst themselves. Jesus wasn't surprised. Again, He knew the need and He would supply more than enough for their physical needs.

"Having eyes do you not see, and having ears do you not hear? And do you not remember? When I broke the five loaves for the five thousand, how many baskets full of broken pieces did you take up?” They said to him, “Twelve.” “And the seven for the four thousand, how many baskets full of broken pieces did you take up?” And they said to him, “Seven.” And he said to them, “Do you not yet understand?” Mark 8:18-21

Jesus was able to supply all their needs; they wouldn't be left hungry. But wouldn't it feel different to be the recipient? To be served instead of serving? Passing bread and fish to the 4000, they were part of God's miracle; at this point, they'd just be like the crowd sitting on the hillside receiving His provision. Humbling. Different. Good. Enough.
It's natural, "no big deal" to me to give, love and serve others. Sometimes it stretches me past my comfort zone, but it's something I'm compelled to do and something God provides for me to share or give. But to receive and just have to sit with open hands, that's different, humbling, good, enough. This God's provision too.
I can't believe the effort given on my behalf, because they love me and God provided these family members with time and resources to give to me. What can I do but sit with open hands and accept the gift of God?
Right now, place your hands together, with the palms up and keep them open. Sit in the presence of your Savior acknowledging and accepting the gifts He's giving you right now.

Stressed out

"…And I pray that Mommy and Daddy wouldn't get so stressed out…" Shaking my head and looking at the engineer, I roll my eyes at this repetitive plea to God from a Christ-following golden head. I want to scream, Why are you choosing to be the reason for the stress? 

Sitting alone with God and my coffee, He speaks to me. Why do you see yourself  any better than they?  

But He was wounded for our transgressions;
He was crushed for our iniquities;
Upon Him was the chastisement that brings us peace,
and with His stripes we are healed. Isaiah 53:5

Just a sliver of Jesus' torture, for our benefit, is revealed to me through parenting. In parenting, I often feel rejected, despised, sorrow, grief and disrespected (v. 2). Yet because I love these golden heads, I carry these sorrows (v. 3) while they only see me "stressed out" and afflicted (v. 4). Upon the mother and father is the charge to teach them to be at peace with God (v. 5); to introduce them to God and disciple them. Jesus' sorrow, grief and beatings were extreme; mine are light in lieu of His, but my sin took Him there. Not just theirs. I am no less a sinner than they (v. 6). Yet, Jesus never opened His mouth to complain, yell or correct (v. 7). I open my mouth plenty. Too much. This is not helpful or beneficial to yell and complain. And so I find myself in confession: admitting sin, repenting and thanking Him for forgiveness.

For this sin and all sin, He was put through torturous grief and death (v. 10). Jesus offering His life as a perfect sacrifice for all sin gives me life and prolongs my days (v. 10). This was God's will because He is just (must administer punishment for all sin). Jesus' death sacrifice was our payment for our sin, satisfied God's requirement for justice and made a way for all to be great and righteous before Him (vv. 11-12). 

My sorrow and grief in training them, in teaching them how to be at peace with God is all so that they too might be righteous before God (v. 11). 

We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; always carrying in the body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be manifested in our bodies. 2 Corinthians 4:9-10

I am "stressed out" so the life of Christ might live in my golden heads.

What area in your life is stressing you? Does this give you a vague glimpse of Jesus at the cross? Do you realize that YOUR sin took Him there? Thank Him for His willingness to give His life and choose to live your life in service so others might find peace with God.

Steadfast

sterizo: To set fast, to fix firmly; to make steadfast in mind, confirm and strength. It seems like where we may get the english word, steroid. In looking at the various references to this word throughout the greek New Testament, I see two listed in the book of Romans: 1:11 and 16:25. Beginning and end chapters of this letter.

For I long to see you, that I may impart to you some spiritual gift to strengthen you-- Romans 1:11

Now to Him who is able to strengthen you according to my gospel and the preaching of Jesus Christ...Romans 16:25a

Paul longs to spiritually strengthen the Romans. God is able to spiritually strengthen us. I long to do the spiritual growth for my golden heads. But the work is God's. I can give them foundation and resources, but God makes them flourish. I am reminded of wisdom shared by my gracious mother-in-law who prayed during the younger years, "Lord, take my feeble attempts and work this out for good."
Whether you have your own little ones or have influence on lives of your disciples, acknowledge your own limitations and pray that God make them steadfast, stronger and built on solid foundation (1 Peter 5:10).

Direction

A God-given desire to share and invest in other sojourners has not left my heart, and lately I've been rereading my blog entries. Reminding me of firm truths God has already taught me and that I do love to write (though it seems daunting at times), I am determined still to write, sharing what God reveals to me. Selfishly, for my own benefit at this point. However, my older, wiser sister's words resonate between my ears: You're always going to be able to disciple others by sharing whatever God has taught you. So the blog continues until God calls me to a different work.

For it is by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast. For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them. Ephesians 2:8-10

Chained

Paul was a prisoner, yet despite his circumstances, he was overflowing with joy because he knew his suffering in house arrest was serving to "advance the gospel" (Philippians 1:12). Although Paul was allowed to live in a house, a member of the Praetorian guard watched him continually and he was actually handcuffed to that guard.
The Praetorian guards were palace guards hand-picked by August to protect the emperor. Due to their closeness to the Roman leadership, they exerted tremendous influence among people of all social groups. Imagine the influence Paul had on the Praetorian guard as day after day, for about two years, friends visited him at his home and Paul preached about the kingdom of God. Now imagine the influence the guard had on even the emperor himself.  I believe we can be confident that many of the guards became believers because of Paul's mention in chapter 4:22,

All the saints greet you, especially those of Caesar's household.

God obviously knew the most effective strategy for advancing the gospel was Paul's imprisonment under house arrest. And then someone shares a revelation: Aren't we all metaphorically chained to someone?
This application changes everything for me. We've all heard the cliche: You can choose your friends, but you can't choose your family. It seems to me that we are metaphorically chained to our family. It may also be true of your spouse, co-workers, teachers, neighbors...But how do we use that influence? Or do we let it influence us?
I have to admit that I have not used my influence on family members that are difficult for me. I tend to use more of an approach of avoidance to make it through encounters. But that is far from what Paul did.
And what of the engineer? There is no greater metaphorical chain than marriage. Mostly that is good, but I seldom consider the influence I have on him. I mostly let him influence me. This has serious ramifications if he is having a bad week (as we all have). I often let his bad attitude infiltrate my demeanor and then I am not obeying the Word: "Rejoice in the Lord always, I will say it again, rejoice," (Philippians 4:4). I must be careful in all relationships to build myself on the Rock foundation of the Word and then use my Holy Spirit filled life to influence those I am metaphorically chained to.
I know this is not easy. However, recall Isaiah 55:8,

For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord.

We may not want to be "chained" to certain people in our lives, but God will always use our circumstances (who we are chained to) to do His will and bring himself glory. We can't often control who we are chained to but we can change our actions and attitudes to make them obedient to Christ. All God requires is that we be faithful and available to Him to use us where He's placed us. And no matter where that is, we are to be His ambassadors

Christ reconciled us to himself and gave us the ministry of reconciliation, that is, in Christ God was reconciling the world to himself, not counting their trepasses against them, and entrusting to us the message of reconciliation. Therefore we are ambassadors for Christ, God making his appeal through us. 2 Corinthians 5:18-20

We represent God. He sometimes pursues others through us, by using us in the lives of the people to whom we are "chained."

First...then

Posting from "the most magical place one earth"...Disney World. I am thankful that most favorite time of day (even on vacation) is in the early morning hours, everyone else tucked in bed, coffee in hand, seeking my Maker. I am most thankful that He chooses to speak to my heart, convict me of sin, reaffirm His love for me despite my selfishness through His Word which gives me direction. This morning, found myself in Jude. At the end of the book, verses 20 & 21, I am reminded to constantly check my heart, my faith, standing with God. Jude encourages me to "build up on the faith, pray being led by Holy Spirit, keep myself in the love of God." The song from childhood rings in my ears, "Beloved, let us love one another, for love is of God and everyone that loveth is born of God and knoweth God. He that loveth not, knoweth not God for God is love. Beloved, let us love one another. 1 John 4:7-8." I may not be like most, but I most often daily need reminding myself that God loves me even though I'm not worthy and do nothing to deserve it. If He can love me that much and even fills me with His power, I need also love others in response to His love for me first and His power in me gives me strength and will to love others. Last, Jude reminds me to "look for mercy." Just last week, God opened the truth about mercy in Proverbs 28:13, that if I confess and forsake my sins I am given mercy.
I am to do these things first. Then, after I've given myself a diagnostic check and repair, Jude teaches in verses 22 & 23, in regards to others, have "compassion with discernment." Perfect teaching, as I navigate Disney theme parks with a tired 4-year old. The engineer and I were just wrestling yesterday how to have empathy for the boisterous one who's exhausted but not lower the expectation of obedience and respect, allowing it to be okay to throw a temper tantrum. Ah, have compassion but "save with fear" (fear of derailment from the faith) "pulling them out of fire" (sin or path to hell) hating their sin but  by your word and actions, loving them. This verse perfectly reaffirmed our parenting game plan in dealing with these stressful parenting moments. I believe parenting is a call to discipleship, and this command in these verses is a warning to be heeded by the discipler, the parent. Thank you God for giving me direction in parenting through Your Word, even when I'm on vacation.

Follow Me

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Jesus told his disciples, “Come, follow Me.” His commandment wasn’t meant for the 12 alone, but for all those who choose to make Christ the foundation. As we celebrated the calculating one’s second spiritual birthday, we talked about discipleship. Those of us how journey after Christ-likeness have something to share with others sojourners. So as I watch older, compassionate sister invite the calculated one to journey, huddled around the warm fireplace, my heart is filled with joy but I wonder. Am I on the journey? Am I consistently seeking to become more Christ-like and if so am I helping others on the journey? In Matthew 28, the Great Commission, Jesus makes it clear that our charge is to make disciples, teaching them everything we ourselves have been taught by His Word and Spirit. And in that a promise, that in all He is with us always! When we sit, when we rise, when we lie down and when we walk along the way. In every one of these times are we to be discipling…bringing our friends to Jesus. When the paralytic needed healing, needed Jesus, his friends stopped at nothing to get him TO Jesus.

My mind wonders to One Thousand Gifts and I know that when I count the gifts, I see Jesus in all things. Why would I not also call my friends to Jesus by counting their gifts. Please join me in counting your gifts as I put mine to paper:

1. Jesus
2. Tangled hair that went to bed wet
3. Backs of sisters, side by side
4. Two pairs of eyes reading the Word in unison
5. Warmth of fireplace
6. Creative play of little girl
7. God’s Word alive and active
8. Crisp, fresh pages of the Text
9. Starbucks
10. Time with God
11. Honking of geese
12. Mist across pond in sunrise
13. Budding of trees
14. Springs’ first flower: tulips
15. Watering in pajamas
16. Compassionate golden head extending grace
17. Strength to battle strong, suborn will
18. Green tractor in field
19. Smell of fresh paint
20. Smell of fresh baked bread
21. Kidney match for Micah
22. Smile of an 11-year old
23. Neighbor girls to play with: Emma, Ellie
24. Trampoline
25. Bandaids
26. 8-year old’s eagerness to begin list of 100 things…
27. Hunger
28. The engineer
29. The engineer’s job
30. Spring rain
31. Sunrise, different every morning
32. Sara Richards
33. Compassionate daughter
34. Calculating daughter
35. Boisterous daughter
36. Coffee, black
37. Cell phones
38. Twinkle toes
39. Smiles
40. Compassionate golden head’s self-confidence
41. Calculating one’s determination
42. Alicia
43. Chicken Enchiladas
44. Neighbors
45. Caring Bridge
46. Mayo Clinic
47. Gail
48. Andrea & Aleena
49. Boisterous one’s spirit
50. Canvas Church
51. Bookmark in the perfect spot: April 24, Alicia’s birthday
52. Sunshine when rain was forecasted
53. Bikes
54. Girl time
55. Origami dogs
56. Smiles of little girls
57. Chores
58. Mystery of fog
59. Sunshine after the rain
60. Day with girls