Voted

Returning home from vacation, we sat around the airport food court and recounted highlights from those six sunny days. As I relished the golden glow of faces around me, I noticed unique personalities and characteristics: Best hair; Best hat; Most opinion; Best leader. But what would be my characteristic or personality trait?
Just having read John Piper's Desiring God chapter on finding delight in marriage, I was hoping to be noted for being, "Most helpful." I helped with passports, boarding tickets, restroom breaks, towels, sunscreen, phone calls to room service or housekeeping. Piper begins the chapter like this,

The reason there is so much misery in marriage is not that husbands and wives seek their own pleasure, but that they do not seek it in the pleasure of their spouses. The biblical mandate to husbands AND wives is to seek your own joy in the joy of your spouse. (John Piper, Desiring God, p. 175.) 

God designed the first woman to help Adam. He determined that it wasn't good for Adam to be alone and God would fashion a helper fit for Adam (Genesis 2:18). God made mankind to share God's goodness, grace and bounty, not to hoard these gifts. And my role is not to be just like the engineer, but to compliment him and a assist him in sharing and giving God's gifts so that he feels joyful. Only when I do what I was designed to do, will I find my own pleasure and joy.

Recounting Grandma Edna's legacy, it is evident to me what a helper she was to her husband, children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren, friends, church and community. She gave and she complemented. But in all these stories and reflections, I never got the impression that she received rewards on this side of heaven. A helper seldom gets accolades. A helper is so behind the scenes, she rarely gets noticed and hardly ever gets glory. A godly helper is content with this.

Take John the Baptist. John 10:41 tells us that a crowd was following Jesus back to the place where He was baptized by John. There, possibly reminiscing on the life of John, they recall that John didn't do any miracles, he announced and pointed the masses of people to Jesus, who came to the world to save them. And now three years later, it turns out that everything John said about Jesus was true. John was a helper. He helped people find the way to eternal life: not in following religious rituals and laws, but in Jesus who would do the work required to save them. John helped people find God's goodness and grace. John wasn't celebrated and adorned. In fact, they killed John, but he would receive his reward in heaven.
Oh, to have the heart of a servant helper! To be content with just pointing people to Jesus. To be completely satisfied in assisting those in my sphere of influence and pointing them to Jesus. When I meet Jesus face to face, I hope in (so many words) I do in fact get voted, "A good helper."
Are you called to be a helper? When Eve was presented before Adam, he said, "At last!" This implies that he was so excited that this moment had finally came. He had finally found a helper and the two worked together in harmony. Is someone in your life waiting to for your help so they can say, "At last! I can complete the task God gave me because I have a helper,"? Unfortunately, sometimes our pride or greed for fame and recognition get in the way of helping. Will you choose to be content with the the role of helper?

Minnesota Nice

When we moved to the Twin Cities, we first heard this phrase, "Minnesota Nice." Wikipedia defines it as "the stereotypical behavior of people born and raised in Minnesota to be courteous, reserved, and mild-mannered." This is the culture we live.

In meditating on Jesus' Sermon on the Mount, I understand that Jesus calls us to be different than the culture we are surrounded; to create a new culture superior to (even) "Minnesota Nice." The bar has been raised for those who receive Jesus' gift of salvation.

You have heard it was said, [You shall not murder...commit adultery...divorce...take an oath...retaliate...]"You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy." But I say to you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you. So that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven. For He causes the sun to rise on the evil and the good and sends the rain on the just and the unjust. For if you love those who love you what reward do you have? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? And if you greet only your brothers, what more are you doing than others? Do not even the Gentiles do the same? You must therefore be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect. Matthew 5:43-48

The norm of the culture may be "nice", but (like anywhere in the United States) it's centered on me, me, me and watching the news, it's pretty common for me to complain, complain, complain. But Jesus calls us to create a better culture. He calls us to a different standard; a standard of excellence.
All summer long, I feel like a broken record, "Girls, we're not going for perfection or quick and sloppy, we're aiming for doing our best: excellence." Sure, it would be easier and even "nice" to throw your dishes on the kitchen counter, but excellent to load them in the dishwasher and start the wash cycle. I want to train them to create a better culture that thinks beyond what's easiest and best for me.
Though we live mostly among a people that have yet to receive Jesus' call of excellence, we're still called to excellence. To love them more than expected; to be more than "nice." We need to constantly be asking Jesus, how can we love better, serve more, give more, meet a need, go beyond an expectation, make it less about me?
English theologian Matthew Henry in his commentary on Matthew 5 wrote, "It is the duty of Christians to desire, and aim at, and press toward a perfection in grace and holiness, Philippians 3:12-14. And therein we must study to conform ourselves to the example of our heavenly Father, 1 Peter 1:15, 16."
Truth is, I can't love others perfectly but I am loved perfectly. I will mess up, say the wrong thing; have the wrong motives; step on someone's toes when I'm trying to be helpful, but God loves me perfectly and calls me to be like Him. I will miss the mark. I could not even try, I can't do it perfectly anyway, but Jesus says, Be different. Aim for Me. Look to Me and let Me work through you.
Am I creating a culture where I'm continually asking myself what can I do for others? How can I do whatever is on my task list with excellence? God has done much for us and by creating a better culture than the "nice" one in which we live. I can show my world a snippet of what God looks like, for His glory.

...let your light shine before men so that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father who is in heaven. Matthew 5:16

I have a friend who encourages us on fast days by saying, "Ladies, this is a get to." What a privilege to get to be more than "Minnesota Nice." To love, serve and invite others into our lives with excellence.
How is Jesus calling you today to go beyond the culture of nice? Thank Him that you get to do more than others.

Digging holes

One of my favorite family movies is "Holes." A wrongfully convicted boy is sent to a brutal desert detention camp where he joins the job of digging holes for some mysterious reason. The comical warden of the camp, Mr. Sir, explains why the boys are digging holes:

"You take a bad boy, make him dig holes all day in the hot sun, it turns him into a good boy. That's our philosophy here at camp green lake."

Digging holes would build character. Character is forged in adversity. Think on the apostle Paul. Ironic that the book of Philippians is likely one of the most quoted books of the Bible for it's inspirational, encouraging verses yet when you look at it in context…the wake up call. Paul penned these inspirational words from prison, in chains. Talk about adversity. Yet, here's one thing he says,

I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. Philippians 4:12

Often, I've looked at this verse in terms of financial state. Today, I look at it in the context of stage of life. Whether you're a college student, starting your first job, in a taxing career, just married, feel "bare foot and pregnant" with kids crawling and running all over, a "soccer mom" taxiing children all over the place, sending your children off to college, experiencing an empty nest or spending your days serving the Lord, have you determined to be content in your life stage? Or do you find yourself, as I do often, thinking if only… or someday when...
Every stage of life has some obstacle. These obstacles will build your character. I've heard it said once that who you are at 30 is highly a result of your circumstances, but who you are at 40 (and beyond) is a result of your character. 
Abraham Lincoln said, "Reputation is the shadow. Character is the the tree." In essence, character  is who we are when no one is looking. Jesus said, "You will recognize them by their fruits," Matthew 7:16, 20. Who we are underneath our skin is evident by what we say and do. 
Do our lives exude the characteristics of a Holy Spirit-filled life as Paul taught in Galatians 5:22-23: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control? This is character of the highest caliber.
No matter your stage of life and obstacles in your stage, trust in God's purpose for this stage and allow Him to use it to transform you to be more like His Son, Jesus, our perfect example. 

And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:19

He is faithful in supplying our needs but what we need most is sanctification; to be made holy, to be like Christ Jesus (Romans 8:20). He called you to this season of life for such a time as this…to be conformed, so be content with whatever state you're in. 
Who do you want to be in ten years? Are you allowing the "digging of holes" in your current stage of life to build character? God did not call you to this stage of life to show how strong, smart or talented you are but rather how faithful He is. Choose contentment and trust in His purpose.

Take My Life

1. Unexpected to me, the life of Samson (Judges 13-16) resounds greatly in my soul. Two totally different topics strike me. Samson's parents and Samson as a servant of God. First, Samson as God's servant.
2. As a child we read stories of Samson, impressed by his God-given gift of strength, like a Old Testament Superhero. Yet, as an adult we see Samson's life marked by lack of character and missed opportunity to bring God glory. Samson was self-indulgent, hot-headed and lacked self-control. Had Samson lived for God and others instead of himself, what an inspiration he would have been. Yet God used Samson to do His will and protect the Israel from total oppression by the Philistines for twenty-years. Samson could have totally saved Israel and ruled in righteousness had He been totally sold out to God. However, this was God's plan and His plan always prevails. When God's servants are not seeking Him for direction or obeying His ways, they aren't submitting to God's divine authority and typically, it doesn't go very well.
3. Taking stock of my life, am I really that much different than Samson? In struggling to rebuild relationship with the engineer, what God has revealed to me most recently is how selfish I am with my time. Saturday with the family, continually self-speaking, Die to self. "Yes, I'd love to help you do that."It's not about me. "Yes, I'd love to look for that with you." Direct my paths Lord. "Yes, let's play a game." Left on my own, I would have rather had done something for myself, shopped for myself, spent money on myself, made my favorite dinner. But, I've tried that and it didn't go very well. For years, after the golden heads were tucked in tight, I spent my time doing what I wanted to do. Time was seldom spent doing something with the engineer. Under the same roof, we went our own ways. It doesn't take long before I realized, I don't have any of the same interests as this man I live with and I don't even think I love him. Yet love is a choice. I need to choose to build relationship with him. I need to put myself aside and choose him. It wasn't going well. What's amazing is choosing to put self aside and spend time with the engineer immediately results in a closeness and intimacy. It's so evident. Choosing God's way and prioritizing others is the way God will bless.
4. My life these days is filled with self talk. I don't know how long this happens before it becomes first nature. Maybe it never will be. But it is the right road.

1. The path of the righteous is the like the light of the dawn, which shines brighter and brighter until full day. Proverbs 4:18

1. My life is not mine. I do believe my favorite hymn is "Take My Life," by Frances R. Havergal.
Take my life and let it be
Consecrated, Lord, to Thee.
Take my moments and my days,
Let them flow in endless praise.
2. Take my hands and let them move
   At the impulse of Thy love.
   Take my feet and let them be
   Swift and beautiful for Thee.
3. Take my voice and let me sing,
   Always, only for my King.
   Take my lips and let them be
   Filled with messages from Thee.
4. Take my silver and my gold,
   Not a mite would I withhold.
   Take my intellect and use
   Every pow’r as Thou shalt choose.
5. Take my will and make it Thine,
   It shall be no longer mine.
   Take my heart, it is Thine own,
   It shall be Thy royal throne.
6. Take my love, my Lord, I pour
   At Thy feet its treasure store.
   Take myself and I will be
   Ever, only, all for Thee.
7. 
   
8. Take some time to sing to the Lord and ask yourself these questions: Am I choosing to live for the Lord or for myself? Does my life inspire others to walk more closely with the LORD? Decide to yield yourself to His complete control and rest in His strengthening power.

First Love

Friday, July 6, 2012

“…you have left your first love. Remember therefore from where you have fallen; repent and do the first works, or else I will come to you quickly and remove your lampstand from its place—unless you repent.” Revelation 2:4-5.

Jesus says this to John while he is exiled on the island of Patmos, so that John can pass this information on to the church at Ephesus. I heard Driscoll’s sermon series on the Seven Letters to the churches in Revelation. What I recall most vividly, what etched the deepest into my heart is when Driscoll said, “guard your time with God,” while teaching this scripture. If I guard my time with God, I do not forsake my first love.

Indeed, I have noticed over the past year, that if I do not guard my time with God, I just don’t feel right. I’m often short-tempered, crabby and irritable. I’m not me, and definitely not my best. What I’ve notice in the recent past that if my time is even possibly jeopardized, I get ruffled. It’s no wonder that on days everyone else sees as opportunity to sleep in, I know I need to wake early (possibly earlier than usual) so that I do indeed get my alone time with God.

One character flaw that I don’t know how to file away at is that I’m a pleaser. I often succumb to everyone else’s wishes because I feel guilty if I put my preference over theirs. So when the engineer says, “What time do you want to leave in the morning?” I think it doesn’t really matter when I want to leave because even if I say what time I was thinking and he says something different, I’ll just say, “That’s fine,” so that he will be pleased. Even if it means I have to forego my time alone with God. I don’t know how to work through my dilemma, pleasing people even when it compromises my first love.

Oh Lord, give the engineer wisdom as the leader of our family, of me, and make me a gracious follower. Clothe me with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.

Who am I?

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

In visiting with my wise mother-in-law tonight, she said something about jobs, “It’s not who you are, it’s just what you do.” That struck me and I see so much wisdom in it when I use it to measure up an outside the home job. What your employment is doesn’t define who you are. You are a child of God. Heir to His kingdom. More precious than rubies. Forgiven. Righteous. Perfect. Being made holy. However, my wrestle with this is, who does that make me? My job is in the home: being a mom, home keeper, wife. I think I am these things in additions to His daughter. Is there error in this? Or am I a mom and a wife but in the eyes of God not a home keeper? I don’t know how to be the best mom and wife I can without keeping my home in an organized, tidy manner. I can’t seem to overlook sticky floors, splatter all over the cupboards, running out of ingredients and supplies and just be “there” as a mom and wife. I don’t feel like I can have one without the other. Is there error in this? I know in all things I should strive for balance and meanwhile maintain perspective: it’s more important for me to give time, service, physical affection, gifts, words of affirmation to my kids than having clean bathrooms. Or is having the clean bathrooms and kitchen and floor and clothes part of the service to my husband and children? “I am not a home-keeper, it’s just what I do,” but “I am a home-keeper, mom and wife.” What does scripture say about this?

1.       Alicia revealing her heart

2.       Golden heads helping me shop

3.       Patience to make it through the shopping

4.       Being able to treat them to lunch

5.       3 more Scoops tokens

6.       Giffeys arriving safely

7.       Kids not missing a beat

8.       Big kids talking until 10

9.       Heart to heart with Gail past midnight

10.   The compassionate one offering to take out the trash

11.   The engineer’s flight arriving earlier than previously thought

12.   Micah being able to spend the night at home..not Mayo

13.   Opportunity for Micah to see his doctor for a check-up

14.   The miracle You’re going to do in Micah’s life

15.   Big kids up and excited to be together at 6am!

16.   Kids Camp pictures

17.   Ability to mop the kitchen floor & wash away “sticky”

18.   Seven kids climbing onto the hammock with me in the middle

19.   Popcorn all over the ground…feeding the birds

20.   Bottle caps on the table

21.   Ice cream in a bag with the older kids

22.   Naps for the middle kids

23.   Treasure in heaven

24.   Opportunity to go to Kracht Garbage Day

25.   Being “emotional support” for grandma and mom

26.   Ability to share insight about marital roles with mom

27.   Derrick’s eagerness to serve at Garbage Day

28.   Delburt’s verbal gratitude expressed to Derrick

29.   Watching fathers and sons work together

30.   Watching brothers and cousins work together

31.   Safety getting home although sleepy

32.    Really sleeping until 8am

33.   Folgers

34.   Shawna serving grandpa compassionately...making scrapbooks

35.   A Sabbath without golden heads

36.   Family planning on the calculating one’s birthday party

37.   A week without being mom

38.   The golden heads eagerly staying at grandma’s for a week

39.   Eagerness of grandpa & grandma to have them a week

40.   Compassionate one making special K bars for grandpa

41.   Wanting grandpa to have the leftovers

42.   Visiting with uncle Carl

43.   Boisterous one’s kisses for grandpa great

44.   Cousins swimming for hours in the stainless steel calf feeder

45.   Find the boisterous one’s capris and undies

46.   Boisterous one so excited for grandma Barb’s play dough

47.   Living close enough to make a day trip “home”

48.   Laughing with the engineer about pulling the wrong chain for the ceiling fan

49.   Ripstick

50.   Ripping out cooper tubing with the skid loader

51.   Luke’s leadership

52.   Praying Philippians 2:1-4 for Kestrel

53.   Good movies

54.   Soaker hoses

55.   Blueletterbible.com

56.   Memories of the farm

57.   Picture of compassionate one and dad with the baby pigs

58.   Dew drops

59.   “Life is like a mountain railway” on itunes

60.   Over half the deck stained

61.   Drier weather to stain

62.   Cool morning breeze

63.   Fish in the pond

64.   Soaker hose

65.   Grandpa getting enough money to pay for the funeral

66.   Lunch & friendship with Alicia

67.   Running beside corn that I just barely taller than

68.   Having a birthday cake to make

69.   Slip & Slide

70.   Cousins coming to the party

71.   Having the deck stained

72.   Tiki Torches

73.   Repentance from selfishness

74.   Campfire with just the two of us

75.   Mulch in the flower bed

76.   Home Depot having plastic sheeting

77.   Bakery buns

78.   Java Chip Frappuccino @ Starbucks

79.   Realizing my homemade ones are just as good

80.   Stack of brush…gone

81.   Wearing a dress just because

82.   Shopping

83.   Finding the engineer half way between Eagan & Woodbury

84.   Going to “work” with the engineer

85.   Sitting in the little café for 30 minutes with the engineer

86.   Not getting our chicken so I could have Starbucks for lunch

87.   Not having to pay for our drinks & salad

88.   Opportunity to navigate new territory

89.   Tiny peppers

90.   Peas to pick

91.   Blossoms on the green beans

92.   Beets sprouting

93.   Sevin to stop Japanese beetles

94.   Learning to garden as a child

95.   Working from home

96.   Running up the stairs after dinner

97.   Peanut butter toast & apples for dinner

98.   Making jerky for Micah

99.   Note from Jessica

No condemnation

Monday, June 18, 2012

The more I think about myself. The more I hate myself. My character is so far from God’s standard of righteousness. I find myself analyzing my actions and heart condition: I am sometime rude and cutting toward the engineer. I was especially horrible when we visited his sister last. I am a crabby, sarcastic, belittling mother at times. I am selfish. I am embarrassed and frustrated with myself. Sometimes, I see myself outside myself and I see Christ so perfectly as I respond in ways that are not first nature to me: Calm and patient with the girls, constantly encouraging to Derrick. Gracious toward those who typically drive me crazy. Calm in stressful situations. And other times, seeing myself as I am in my natural, mortal, flesh state: crabby, belittling, rude. I can identify with Paul in Romans 7, “I am doing the very thing I hate.” Only God though my faith in Christ Jesus can set me free from this body of death. I need to confess my sin, and receive His offered forgiveness and live knowing that, “there is now NO CONDEMNATION for those who are in Christ Jesus,” Romans 8:1.

Still, this is hard to live out. Another place where faith comes in: faith that I am forgiven. Faith that when God justified me, He simultaneously performed the miracle of regeneration and is continually changing my character. I do not obey and want to change my sinful behavior because of fear of the consequences but because His grace changes my character and makes me just. I am a child of God, I exercise rights as His child and act as His child. I am liberated from guilt and power of sin but not the presence of sin.

Thanks be to Jesus for His indescribable gift!

1.       Watching the dragon fly with the girls for the first time

2.       Showing the girls lighting bugs

3.       Hot summer night sitting on the front porch

4.       5% back on Delta plan ticket

5.       Airport taxi

6.       Dry basement after so much rain

7.       Basement shelter in the storm

8.       Culver’s frozen custard

9.       Messing up the boisterous one’s order so I got frozen custard

10.   Swimming with the golden heads two days in a row

11.   Sand castles and sand birthday cakes

12.   Staying at the lake until 6