A-B-C

I'm not a neat freak, but I do like thing in order. I like things clean, but I don't lysol my house daily. I'm not legalistic, but I love routine. I love a list of things neatly checked off every day, but I admit sometimes my list is too ambitious.
As I curled up in the oversized chair after the golden heads were in bed and set down my glass something out of place caught my eye: a tiny, u-shaped, white wad in the corner of the coaster. "Oh, here you go, want a piece of A-B-C gum?" (A-B-C stands for already been chewed), I offered the engineer. We decided that I should offer it to the golden heads at breakfast the following morning. But I forgot and now after the morning rush to school, I snuggle in for some quiet reflection with God and it's still there.
And then I laugh. And I thank. I'm thankful for the young woman who likely took her gum out of her mouth to play trumpet. I thank God for the privilege of having three daughters. I'm thankful for a minute to sit down at the end of the day. I'm thankful for coffee in my cup this morning. I thank God that He made me new and caused me to not react in my old way and personality that would have blown up about not throwing your gum in the trash, but rather I responded with the new self: smiled and made a joke about it. (Seriously, does it really matter?)

I have been crucified with Christ [that is, in Him I have shared His crucifixion]; it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body I live by faith [by adhering to, relying on, and completely trusting] in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself up for me. Galatians 2:20, AMP

I'm not super natural, I haven't "arrived" at always being patient and kind. Don't worry, I'll likely blow up about the trinkets and wrappers they leave behind tomorrow, but today, I'm going to smile and thank God.

Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

Will you choose to give thanks today? Stop right now, close your eyes and thank God for five things.

New

"I can't help it. I just get so mad and I start yelling. It's just who I am. I can't stop it,"she explains her outburst. Over and over the pattern is repeated, wrecking havoc on our family. Praise God for His wisdom that He generously provides a seeking parent. Consequences are set and a game plan is established.  The grueling part is implementing these. Prayer is petitioned surrounding the heart of this loved child. Then...a good day. She even offered to clean the basement. Two-days into this, I realize, it's the prayers of those I trust whom have lifted up my child creating the change in her little heart. God has answered these prayers and my daughter's.
A week later at breakfast reading Jesus Calling for Kids, she reads,

"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come! 2 Corinthians 5:17"….I want you to do great things for My kingdom. First, though, you have to give Me control of your old life. Let Me have your old worries, you old struggles, your old temptations and sins. I will throw them all away so that I can work in your life.

She pauses, contemplating. "Mom, that's just like me." She has an odd way of reading my mind!

But thanks be to God, who always leads us in triumphal procession in Christ and through us spreads everywhere the fragrance of the knowledge of Him. 2 Corinthians 2:14a

We will all miss the mark from time to time. I mess up daily! Hourly! But God chooses to use us despite ourselves to spread the good news of Christ to those in our influence.
What past sins and habits are you holding onto right now? "Let it go!" as Elsa would sing. Give these to God. Even though we are inadequate, He will victoriously use us for His glory.

Chicken and broccoli

CLANK, CLINK, CLANK-CLANK. Looking up to the noise overhead, I spy the aphid heaving its little shell body into the light fixtures above. Pausing a moment, I realize, that's what I've been like the last 10 weeks. Clanking, banging around like (as my mother used to say) a chicken with my head cut off.

"Love more and more, and aspire to live quietly, and to mind your own affairs, and to work with your hands, as we instructed you, so that you may walk properly before outsiders and be dependent on no one." 1 Thessalonians 5:10b-12

And while we haven't ceased to have food to eat and the house isn't in shambles, it's likely a pace that's not beneficial to all in my family and thinking about Paul's decision in 1 Corinthians 8:13, the lady bug gives me a new understanding or application.

"Therefore, if my busyness causes my family's relationship with Jesus to falter, I will never run around crazy, if it makes my family fall away from Jesus." (my application of 1 Corinthians 8:13)

Reading on in Corinthians,

"For though I am free from all, I have made myself a servant to all, that I might win more of them." 1 Corinthians 9:19 

"So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God…not seeking my own advantage, but that of many, that they may be saved." 1 Corinthians 10:31,33b

I feel called to lay aside some of my own preferences so that I might serve for God's glory. Loving a plan of action, I make my list of tangible ways to love and serve those within the walls of my home. This is the creative part that comes easily for me…but the day to day rubber meets the road application is definitely tougher! However, if I don't apply God's Word to my life, it would have been better to not even had read God's Word or listened to His conviction.

"But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves. For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man who looks intently at his natural face in a mirror. For he looks at himself and goes away and at once forgets what he was like. But the one who looks into the perfect law, the law of liberty, and perseveres, being no hearer who forgets but a doer who acts, he will be blessed in his doing." James 1:22-25

Not applying God's Word and personal convictions in my life is like looking in the mirror, seeing I have a chunk of broccoli stuck in my teeth and walking away without doing anything about it. And who wants to be that person? No, I will remove the broccoli; I will take the steps to love and serve my family.
When God convicts your heart about something, do you respond? Will you take the principle and put it into action? Or will you walk around with broccoli stuck in your teeth?

Nets

"Follow me, and I will make you become fishers of men." And immediately they left their nets and followed him. Mark 1:17

 The ESV adds become in its translation, indicating an future process of change or growing. The disciples weren't yet fishers of men, but would be transformed into what Jesus' will was for them and Jesus would do the work (I will make). Jesus did the fashioning, molding or transforming in his disciples in New Testament times and is molding you and me now if we follow him. Our action of following comes first.

And immediately Jesus left the synagogue and entered the house of Simon and Andrew, with James and John. Now Simon's mother-in-law lay ill with a fever, and immediately they told him about her. And he came and took her by the hand and lifted her up, and the fever left her, and she began to serve them. Mark 10:29-31

Simon had a mother-in-law, so we infer that he was married. Simon left more that just his nets, to follow Jesus; he left his family for a time (or maybe his family followed Jesus and his disciples.) This rocked me. If Jesus calls the engineer to do a completely time-consuming ministry in which Jesus would work through him and the engineer had to leave our family for days and weeks to become what Jesus intends, I would have a really hard time accepting God's will. I have always held tightly to keeping family before or above ministry on the priority list. This revelation of family in Scripture reminds me to hold loosely. However, I am comforted: Jesus showed up at Simon's house and healed Simon's mother-in-law. Jesus cares about families and will take care of them, providing for all their needs. I'm sure he'd do this even if Jesus hadn't physically walked into the home. He is an omnipresent God. I wonder what the perspective would be from Simon's wife. How many stories would she have of how God provided, cared and healed their family while she was "holding down the fort" during Simon's following?
A day after my pondering, the blue Jays moved in. In my office, I look out a window overlooking the boisterous one's rainbow flower garden. At first I noticed just one blue jay, then realized it was a whole flock. I had never noticed a blue jay in my yard prior to this, so it really grabbed my attention. I wondered why they had moved in and then I recalled the sunflowers she had planted. Food: the blue jays were after the sunflower seeds. Remember that movie, Field of Dreams and that famous voice in the corn field: "If you build it, they will come," ? Suddenly in my head is the phrase, "If you feed them, they will come."
Mark chapter one: fishers of men. If you feed them (literally as Jesus did feed the 5000+ and then 4000+ and figuratively feeding spiritually), they will come. Read through any gospel account, people flocked to him! When they follow, God's Word and Holy Spirit will do the work to transform them.
In the middle of preparing my teaching on 1 Corinthians 3, I see the parallel. Our class membership attendance has fallen from last year. But if follow (and leave my nets) he will make me become fisher of men. And if I feed them, they will come.
Since my calling, I've had the hardest time leaving my nets: my family. Just a day prior, the boisterous one ran off the school bus and asked, "You're coming to my fall walk, aren't you?" In fact, I had not volunteered for this field trip. Intentionally, this was an act of leaving my net. And even now as I work on my teaching, watching the blue jays, her look of devastation rips my heart in two. I know I'm called to teach right now but I'm feeling guilting about "leaving" my family. Knowing I'm following Him, I press on in my study and preparation.
A while later, I indulge in the last piece of Dove dark chocolate from Valentine's Day. (It is fall but, chocolate keeps, right?) I don't believe in horoscopes but I do believe God speaks to us in sometimes bizarre ways. Inside the chocolate foil is a message: "You are exactly where you are suppose to be." Not on a field trip, but parked in God's Word preparing for teaching. So I resolve to do the work God has called me to for this season and allow him to provide and care for my family as I follow.

"For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them." Ephesians 4:10

You have a mission you are called to for Christ. What is your "net" right now? Practice flexing your trust muscles and leave your "net" to walk following Him.

About perfect

As my baby ventures off to school, I can't quite shake this thought; when she holds my hand, her little paw in mine, it feels about perfect. There are few things more wonderful than that feeling. By design, it fits just right. And yet, I know this fit is fleeting. Her hand will grow. I must train her in the way she should go. I need to become less and He more in her life. She needs to leave me and cleave to Christ. Yet, I never want to forget what it feels like to have her little hand in mine. Does Christ feel the same of me? Whether I am curled up, laid out or basking in the reality of His presence, is He thinking, I just can't get enough of this? I'm not sure. I'm reminded of Mary, Jesus' mother.

And all who head it wondered at that the shepherds told them. But Mary treasured up all these things, pondering them in her heart. Luke 2:17-18

Here come the shepherd with a message from the angels about this child who is the Messiah, Savior of the world. Everyone is wondering, Is this for real, but Mary treasured. I can't help but notice the contrast. I could wonder what the future holds for this boisterous one, wonder God's feeling for me or I could treasure the moment.
Watching the sunrise, the leaves fully intact to their branches, there's a frame. A little window through the leaves that reaches straight through to the sunlight. Not the whole panoramic view, just a small snippet.

For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known. 1 Corinthians 13:12

I know when I see Him face to face, I will see the whole panoramic view. Maybe her little hand in mine is just a glimpse. A glimpse of what glory will be like. What it will feel like for my hand to literally be nestled inside His. But I will treasure.

Do well

Some would say I wear my emotions on my sleeve. I can't deny my emotions even that much. I simply wear them on my face. I can't lie or mask what I'm feeling. I've come to view this as a  blessing. But, frustrated this week, I went beyond wearing them on my face; I totally vented. I still don't really know the root of the marital issue. However, I was feeling disconnected, separate, and not enjoying his company. My whole demeanor long-faced, feeling hopeless, I stumbled upon some notes I had taken from Victory over Darkness a year ago. It drew my attention to Genesis 4:4-7.

 4 and Abel also brought of the firstborn of his flock and of their fat portions. And the LORD had regard for Abel and his offering, 5 but for Cain and his offering he had no regard. So Cain was very angry, and his face fell. 6 The LORD said to Cain, "Why are you angry, and why has your face fallen? 7 If you do well, will you not be accepted? And if you do not do well, sin is crouching at the door. Its desire is for you, but you must rule over it." 

God clearly says to Cain, you can't feel your way into good behavior. You behave your way into good feelings. Is this what I've been missing in the busyness of summer schedules?
The ESV translates countenance as face. Cain clearly, like me, wore his emotions on his face, the outside of his body, not bottling it. But God who sees all, inside and out, takes note of Cain's outward appearance. His face which is obviously a reflection of his heart.
I think the punch is packed in verse 7. God tells Cain to do well. Actually in the Hebrew, God uses this word two times. This must be important. This word means to be good, pleasing, well, glad, joyful, rejoice, deal well with, do thoroughly, to make a thing good, right or beautiful. Sounds like a call to action. And yet, now I sit, sulking. Not much different than Cain.
"And if…" God says. Clearly, God is reminding Cain he has a choice: do good or sulk.
If Cain chooses to sulk, Satan crouches at the door. Satan wants nothing more than to bring men and women down. He's sneaky and waits at the door, waiting for an entrance. Like a cat that makes a v-line into the house the second the front door is opened. And in these moments of dejection, sulking, Satan knows we are weak. He sees the door cracked open and he'll weasel his way right in. Satan knows our points of vulnerability. He's a sneaky, creep.

…Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. Resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same kinds of suffering are being experienced by your brotherhood throughout the world. 1 Peter 5:8-9

God commands Cain to master or rule over the sin. I really think this can't be done outside of the Holy Spirit ruling in the life of a believer. Only then can the power of sin be defeated.

Little children, you are from God and have overcome them, for He who is in you is greater than he who is in the world. 1 John 4:4

For everyone who has been born of God overcomes the world. And this is the victory that has overcome the world--our faith. Who is it that overcomes the world except the one who believes that Jesus is the Son of God? 1 John 5:4-5

We know the rest of the story in verse 8:

Cain told Abel his brother. And it came about when they were in the field, that Cain rose up against Abel his brother and killed him.

I have a choice: good actions or stewing over the negative. Cain choose to let sin referee his life. I can't feel my way into good behavior. I behave my way into good feelings. This is a conscious choice. I'm feeling crumby about my marriage today. I could sulk and feel miserable all day. Or do something that I enjoy or set to work enjoying the feeling of accomplishment. Emotions are real, but they can't be trusted. I must choose to do well.
You must constantly be checking yourself and asking, "Who's ruling in my heart?" Invite the Holy Spirit to rule, direct and influence all of you. Then do well.

Trust and deepest desire

"Trust in the LORD, and do good;

dwell in the land and feed on faithfulness.

Delight yourself in the LORD,

and He will give you the desires of your heart." Psalm 37:3-4

Nearly two-years ago, we had everything we owned packed with nowhere to go. Trust in the LORD. We knew that God had opened the door for us to move back "home" to Minnesota: it had been an on-going 4-year prayer to get closer to family, a good fit job was offered to the engineer and in a slumped housing market, our rambler sold in just eight days. Living in my parents' basement for an undetermined span of time, we searched for a home in the southern metro area. After three months, we moved into our home.
So we were dwelling in the land, and it became apparent that feeding on His faithfulness was essential to get through the grieving process that accompanies moving cross-country. We experienced both strikes and affirmations. The strikes: missing deep friendships, Montana's landscape and recreation, no connection in a local church, and realizing the different culture into which we had slid (who knew Montana and Twin Cities mentality was so different?) "But we prayed!" is what my mentor reminded me as our first affirmation. Another affirmation was glaringly obvious: little more than a month after moving in, Micah was admitted to the ICU in Rochester with failing kidneys and complications. We found ourselves to be the closest family members to the hospitals there and couldn't imagine being 13+ hours from helping my sister and her family. We don't always get the big picture, God often chooses to reveal one-piece at a time. Feeding on His faithfulness was learning to have a heart of gratitude. Being thankful for His faithful provision & blessings increases my trust in His plan for me. I began my mornings listing that which to be grateful:

1. Having the "Sechler Seven" around my table the night prior
2. Light on the pumpkin pumpkin bars for dessert so Micah can have one
3. Mike & the engineer laughing at how similar Traci & I are
4. Living in Minnesota
5. Being with family
6. Traci talking about the Big Big House Micah's going to
7. All the good food Micah will soon get to eat: Mountain Dew, chocolate, pizza with lots of cheese...
8. The engineer playing Mario Kart with his nephews
9. The sweet sound of cousins playing
10. Singing and praying alongside Micah before we left
11. Kissing Micah's head
12. "While I'm Waiting" by John Waller on the radio
13. The engineer being girl-trapped 5 times over
14. Cousins playing outside without shoes on
15. A face to face visit with Lori
16. ...

Recalling His faithfulness by listing my blessings from Him, is an act of delighting myself in the Lord, not "the good old days" living in Montana or when my children were younger and "never" disobeyed. After the Israelites lose men & stature to the soldiers of Ai, we saw Joshua turn his lament to the Lord (Joshua 7:6-9). Am I wise enough to turn my sorrows over to the Lord? And I wise enough to truly trust in Romans 8:28, "We know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to His purpose." When I contemplate on the next verse, I see this tough stuff is used to conform me to His image. "For those whom He foreknew He also predestined to be conformed to the image of His Son..." Becoming more like Christ is the deepest desire of my heart, so even though the transition of moving (yes, even two-years later) is hard and parenting the calculating one is the most taxing thing I've done, I delight in the faithfulness of the Lord and continue to trust in Him.

Are you are trusting in the Lord to work in your current battle, working it out for good? Consider how is He using the same circumstance to make you more like Him.

Harder

One discipline that I try to incorporate into my days is listening to podcasts. Mark Driscoll referred to listening to podcasts as "redeeming the time." Those who spend part of their day in a commute are likely to benefit from listening to a solid, Bible believing preacher. I listen while doing meanile tasks like making dinner, cleaning and weeding the garden. Listening to Mark Driscoll (Mars Hill) finish his series on the book of Ephesians, "I Am Rewarded," spoke volumes to how we (even moms) are to work as if working for the Lord, not men (Ephesians 6:7). I am a mom, working for Jesus, taking care of His golden heads. Jesus is my Boss, He see, knows and rewards me.  The next sermon in that series, "I Am Victorious" teaches how the armor of God is available to His children and that we are victorious (Ephesians 6:10-20) in the battle against satan. Since we are at war with satan, life is not going to be easy: "The harder it gets, the closer you're getting to God's will." In general, I find this so true of life these last years.
A day or two later, I remembered that statement while brushing my teeth and dry erased it onto the mirror. (I love to leave notes like this to encourage the engineer and I while we both begin and end our days in front of the bathroom mirror.) Yet a few hours later, at whit's end with my golden heads, I read it again and the light bulb of application luminates. Training my girls in the ways they should go is hard! This summer's goals of teaching them to clean, wash laundry, cook, plan, garden, sew, build campfires, get along with others, manage money...the list is extensive, constant and taxing.  It's hard because satan doesn't want me to actively parent but teaching the golden heads is surely God's will.

Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it. Proverbs 22:6

Along with that, acquiring a teacher's heart, patience, relinquishing control of my "in order" home, is conforming me into the image of Christ.

And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another. 2 Corinthians 3:18

So the job is hard but the benefit is two-fold. Praise be to God that I am both rewarded and victorious. In what circumstance do you find yourself in that's hard? Are you tempted to give up or will you choose to persevere knowing that you're moving closer to God's will?

Helps me

Perched up on the booster beside me at the wheel, my boisterous one, struggling to kick the finger sucking habit. Riding in the car is the worst...what else is a 4-year old to do? Boredom is when we tend to fall into tendencies we'd rather not do. Brainstorming how to help her succeed, we dig her Bible out of her backpack so she might have something to hold instead of sucking her fingers. Ten minutes later, she says, "Mom, my Bible helps me not to suck." So simple, so true! When we struggle with the temptation, "my Bible helps me not to ___."
I know this is true. As I struggle with idolizing food. (Oh Jesus, when will I be set free from this battle?) I know that the times I've been set free in the past are the very same times I have looked to Jesus, quoted scripture and thanked Jesus. What I don't understand is why don't I remember that in the midst of the foggy battle.

I lift my eyes up to the mountains--where does my help come from?
My help comes from the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth. Psalm 121:1-2

Lord, help me always remember from where my help comes and look there and thank you for reminding me of truth through my child.

Transparent

I can't express how much I appreciate people being willing to be transparent, real and willingness to take off the mask that hides hurts, struggles and pain.
Today, I will be quite transparent. Something that God's brought to my attention lately is how easily I am offended. A fabulous discipler from Billings, Fred Nelson, teaches that a sign of spiritual maturity is that you are not easily offended. Lately, this has been a big struggle for me, which is humbling, because you'd think at this point, I'd be getting at least a bit spiritually mature. In the past two weeks, I've caught myself get especially offended when the engineer points something out to me. He might be pointing out the fact that I'm in sin or he may be simply asking a question about how I do something, but my initial response is to get edgy, defend myself and think of a reason why it's really someone else's fault. For example, when he tells me that my tone of voice was rude to the waitress, it's not her fault the menu doesn't list something, immediately I feel personally attacked and blame him for attacking me. Not so graceful! This has probably gone on for years but by God's grace, I've noticed in recent weeks.
I was so thankful that God gave me a verse this week,

He who covers his sins will not prosper,
but whoever confesses and forsakes them will have mercy.
Proverbs 28:13

When I get defensive and blame someone else for my mistake or actions, I am covering my sin and will not prosper. That's not a direction I want to head in life. By confessing and choosing to turn away from that sin, I will be shown mercy by my Maker. Quite convicting truth to me and I'm praying that when I begin to feel offended, I will be prompted to repeat this verse, so to begin breaking free from this flesh habit.
I'm been thinking lately that this whole sanctification process is hard! And honestly, sometimes I'm sick of it and want to quit! Thankfully, God gives me grace to persevere! Now I understand why Paul quoted the psalmist in Romans 8:36, "For your sake, we are being put to death all day long. We were considered as sheep to be slaughtered." It wasn't until about a week ago, when I was wrestling with doing a crappy job as a wife that I finally understood the point Paul was making. Sanctification is a daily (hourly, minute by minutes sometimes) process of dying to my flesh and replacing the flesh with things of the Spirit. This revelation happened about the time Micah went to heaven and I truly rejoiced for him because praise Jesus, his sanctification is complete. He's done with that, perfect, mature and complete! Lately, Toby Mac's "Break Open the Sky" has been the cry of my heart!

Break open the sky 

Won't You turn off gravity so we can fly?

We wanna see Your faceSo tear the roof off this placeJesus, break open the sky

But until He chooses to call me home, I will, by God's grace, persevere in the process of being made holy. And pray that the next time I am offended, I will choose the wisdom of Proverbs 28:13 and expose my sin, confess it and repent of it and then be given mercy.

No condemnation

Monday, June 18, 2012

The more I think about myself. The more I hate myself. My character is so far from God’s standard of righteousness. I find myself analyzing my actions and heart condition: I am sometime rude and cutting toward the engineer. I was especially horrible when we visited his sister last. I am a crabby, sarcastic, belittling mother at times. I am selfish. I am embarrassed and frustrated with myself. Sometimes, I see myself outside myself and I see Christ so perfectly as I respond in ways that are not first nature to me: Calm and patient with the girls, constantly encouraging to Derrick. Gracious toward those who typically drive me crazy. Calm in stressful situations. And other times, seeing myself as I am in my natural, mortal, flesh state: crabby, belittling, rude. I can identify with Paul in Romans 7, “I am doing the very thing I hate.” Only God though my faith in Christ Jesus can set me free from this body of death. I need to confess my sin, and receive His offered forgiveness and live knowing that, “there is now NO CONDEMNATION for those who are in Christ Jesus,” Romans 8:1.

Still, this is hard to live out. Another place where faith comes in: faith that I am forgiven. Faith that when God justified me, He simultaneously performed the miracle of regeneration and is continually changing my character. I do not obey and want to change my sinful behavior because of fear of the consequences but because His grace changes my character and makes me just. I am a child of God, I exercise rights as His child and act as His child. I am liberated from guilt and power of sin but not the presence of sin.

Thanks be to Jesus for His indescribable gift!

1.       Watching the dragon fly with the girls for the first time

2.       Showing the girls lighting bugs

3.       Hot summer night sitting on the front porch

4.       5% back on Delta plan ticket

5.       Airport taxi

6.       Dry basement after so much rain

7.       Basement shelter in the storm

8.       Culver’s frozen custard

9.       Messing up the boisterous one’s order so I got frozen custard

10.   Swimming with the golden heads two days in a row

11.   Sand castles and sand birthday cakes

12.   Staying at the lake until 6

Metamorphoo

Monday, April 16, 2012

For months, I’ve been pondering the correlation between the life of Jacob and the engineer. How on Jacob’s fleeing journey from Esau (our home, Minnesota), he met God and God promised him four things: (1) your descendants shall be as dust of the earth, (2) in you and your descendants, all the families of earth shall be blessed, (3) I am with you and will keep you wherever you go and will not leave you until I have done what I have spoken to you, (4) I will bring you back to this land.

After the journey to foreign land (our Tennessee & Montana), as Jacob returns "home", he again encounters God and actually wrestles with Him all night. Before Jacob leaves he asks God to bless him and God also changes his name. I’ve wondered about the wrestle. I’ve wondered about the change. Would our name be changed from “wild man” to something else? Yesterday, in corporate worship while I communed with God pondering faith, confidence that God is who He says He is and that He will do what He says He will do, I felt like God said have faith because I’m changing your family. I see it: since our move, the engineer consistently seeking God’s face and leading spiritually. The golden heads little personalities becoming more like Christ’s. I just read this morning that we all are being transformed into the likeness of His glory. We are the changed family: Metamorphoō. The greek word to change into another form, to transform. I am humbled that I should become more like my Savior, I don’t deserve it, but I will sit in a posture with my hands open, ready to receive what gifts He deems.

In the midst of all the outward change in our lives right now, we focus on inward change. It is hard, but in align with Hebrews 12:2, we choose to run the race with endurance, our eyes fixed on Jesus, who also persevered the tortuous cross for the joy set before him, while the circumstances with family are akward, while we have few friends, while the engineer is away, we persevere for the joy set before us. The joy of being a changed person, more like Christ!

1.     Christ’s endurance for the joy set before

2.     Joy that is possible

3.     Christ defeating the death

4.     Hope

5.     TIME with God

6.     Dry house

7.     Flashes of light in sky

8.     Peace

9.     Jesus Calling

10. Workout finished by 5:15

11. Facebook

12. Dawn

13. Sarah

14. Intimate prayer with each of the golden head girls

15. Music

16. Ambersky dance moves

17. Christ’s power available to me

18. Dreams

19. McDonalds (the smiles it brings)

20. Van

21. 4 bathrooms

22. Pianos

23. Shopping

24. Coupons

25. Cash

26. Airplanes

27. “Own time”

28. Splat of tiny raindrops on window

29. Big drops rolling down pane

30. Dream of the engineer

31. Banana bread

32. Dad

33. The “yes” from the compassionate one…the party’s here

34. Sutterfly

35. SLR

36. Vacuum

37. List of to dos

38. Treats for the class

39. Silk flowers

40. Rhinestones

41. Sewing machine

42. Sewing project

43. Choices

44. Menus

45. Telling time with calculated one

46. Hot tub

47. Boisterous one “reading”

48. Imaginary friend, “Lisa”

49. Satisfaction felt after fixing

50. Anticipation of fun

51. 10 for 10 Sales

52. Dead flies

53. Flower pots

54. Spinach

55. Joy of baking

56. Eyes

57. Focusing on the nearer, not the further

58. Green

59. Poetry Café

60. Big sisters

61. Butter

62. Daddy coming home

63. Princess book

64. Reading

65. “Think” (Pooh)

66. Anne Streeter

67. Inductive Bible Study

68. Bend of trees, looks like dancing

69. Razor

70. Shampoo

71. WiFi at McDonalds

72. Strong backs

73. Five of us together

74. Early bedtime

75. Stretching muscles

76. Blueberry Frosted Mini Wheats

77. The blue-green right before sunrise

78. Grandparents

79. Heart to heart with grandma

80. Home

81. Christian Stanfill’s “Jesus Paid it All”

82. Christ saving me from death, paid my debt!

83. Texting

84. Spooning close in bed

85. Short prayers so we can get to sleep faster

86. Popcorn prayers

87. Warmth of the engineer’s body in bed

88. 5 around the fireplace in the morning

89. Sweats

90. Patience and endurance of cousins raising a little boy with downs

91. LifeLight

92. Tick tock of clocks

93. Graphics

94. Checks in the mailbox

95. Watching the calculated one write a book just like I used to when I was little

96. Watching the boisterous one make a wall of cereal boxes to hide behind

97. Listening to the compassionate one retell a story

98. Leftovers

99. Sweet, juice flowing from oranges

100.    Gummy vitamins

101.    Yeast

102.    Packages in the mail

103.    Stack of grapefruit

104.    Drops of dew on glades of grass

105.    Arranged shoes

106.    Blue bird

107.    A body that can run

108.    Bike paths

109.    Humility

110.    Quick to forgiveness

111.    Forbearance

112.    WeedBGone

113.    Babysitters

114.    Freezers overflowing

115.    Casserole in the fridge

116.    Shadows cast upon the table

117.    Imagination

118.    Dirty bathtub water

119.    Being made in the image of God

120.    Tiller