What is that?

I like re-dos. Sometimes when a sentence gets said with a wrong attitude or disrespectful tone, I like to give myself or the golden heads a "try that again." I mess up all the time. I'm thankful for the opportunity to do it better the second time.
It's a daily choice, or discipline, to sit quietly before the Lord allowing Him to search my heart and reveal ways I've offended Him, the opportunities for a re-do. Actually, it's not really that much fun. It reveals what I've done wrong, and like most, I don't like being wrong.
This got me thinking about how even confession is a type of trial that builds character, and if I let the Holy Spirit do its work in me, it produces Christ-like character. But what is that tangibly? What was Jesus like as he walked on this earth? One answer is found in what I would consider the most unlikely of places, in what most of us call the "Love Chapter" of the Bible: 1 Corinthians 13. You know, the one read at weddings. What I've realized is that this chapter contains a beautiful list that begins with the value of character, then describes character that builds until we meet Christ and can literally see His every character quality.

I could be the best Teaching Director in all of CBS or writer in all America, but if I don't have Christ-like character, I might as well be a bump on a log. I could have the most awe-inspiring spiritual gifts but if I don't build Christ-like character, I might as well not have any gifts. I could be the most generous giver of all time, serving others with every ounce of my time and resources, but if I don't give and serve with genuine Christ-like character, it's all for nothing.
Christ-like character worth striving for is patient, kind, not jealous, humble, generous, courteous, puts others before myself, forbearing, goes out of my way for others, doesn't hold grudges, believes the best possible outcome about others and always gives the benefit of the doubt. Christ-like character believes and establishes its life on every syllable of God's Word. The person with Christ-like character trusts in God's protection and that God works every detail of their lives out for His glory and their ultimate good, even when she can't know or make sense of all the details.
As I build more Christ-like character, I will be sustained by God and grow more and more consistently in character until I meet Jesus face to face.

I won't perfectly attain these, but I must daily choose to obey the Holy Spirit working out these characterists in me. And when I derail, missing the mark, I'll confess, thanking for forgiveness and allow the Holy Spirit to rule and work these out again. These derailings, these confessions are a part of the adversity that builds Christ-like character.
Spend some time this week rewriting 1 Corinthians 13 for yourself and ask the Holy Spirit to begin working these characteristics out in you.

All about me

Hanging on the wall in her room, it says, "All About Me." Once a week, in first grade, a student was spotlighted within the class and encouraged to share personal information, interests and experiences that shaped her. Something about the title of the poster always bothered me. I couldn't place my finger on it. Until today.
I hate charts in Bible Studies. Yet, staring at me is the chart with instructions: Write the phrase David uses to describe God as he faces Goliath in battle and explain it's importance. David is appalled that anyone dare defame the name of the Lord and as Goliath taunts God's chosen people, the Israelites. David steps out in confidence that God will use him to defeat the Philistine champion (I Samuel 17). And in obedience to the "menial task" set in front of me (the chart) I begin writing. It wasn't until a week later that I'd finally get it. I am a slow learner.

David calls God 

• "the Lord of hosts"
• God is supreme over all other gods and authorities
• "God of the armies of Israel" 
• God is in charge, not man
• "the Lord will deliver"
• God is a faithful deliverer (not man)
• "all earth will know there is a God in Israel"
• God winning against all odds makes His name great; it glorifies Him
• "the Lord saves not with sword or spear"
• God's ways aren't our ways; His tactics are smarter, more creative, better
• "the battle is the Lord's"
• God is a warrior; David is simply the vessel God uses to accomplish His battle
• "(God) will give you into our hand"
• God is with David in this battle
• "all this assembly may know"
• God's power and authority will be reaffirmed in both Israel (who are dismayed and greatly afraid) and Philistine (gloating with pride and human power)

Do you see the main point? It took me a while. Look again if you didn't see it….
GOD! I'll say it again. God. Too often in my struggles and battles, I focus on myself. This is the problem! I need to make it about God. After all, the battle is His.

For the battle is the Lord's, and He will give you into our hand. I Samuel 17:47

I'm the type of person who doesn't even like my picture taken. I'm happy to be a wall flower. However, I wonder if I should post an "All About Me" poster in the house just because it would be a ridiculous, sarcastic reminder of the truth revealed: it's all about God. Yet when the stress of a defiant child mouthing off to me causes me to shove fistfuls of junk food in my mouth as I wallow in self-pity, "I can't handle this," "I don't deserve this," "I don't know what to do," "I…I….I…"  I think I might as well admit; in this moment, it's "All About Me."
We know David defeats Goliath; it's the most famous story in the Bible. But I think we quickly forget that David won because it wasn't his battle. It was His battle. You only think they're your battles. It's God's battle. That defiant personality is the Goliath and God is going to shoot it down. He's just using me to sling the stones. David stepped out and did what God wanted him to do.
Protect your times of refreshment. David came in from shepherding in the fields and defeated the giant. He had a fresh perspective and healthy relationship with God. You won't be able to face your Goliaths unless you are fresh. Make time with God a consistent, number one priority. And put up an "All About Me" poster. Yes, it will make you laugh. But maybe, just maybe it'll catch your eye as you step into battle.

Confessions of a blogger

I often check out during closing comments. But Paul's closing catches my attention in Romans 15:26-27.

For Macedonia and Achaia have been pleased to make a contribution for the poor among the saints in Jerusalem. Yes, they were pleased to do so, and they are indebted to them. For if the Gentiles have shared in their spiritual things, they are indebted to minister to them also in material things.

We are indebted to share spiritually and materially with the saints, a.k.a. Christians. Paul is explaining his current status. He's on his way to Jerusalem to deliver a material gift to the poor Christians there from the Macedonians and Achaians. Twice, Paul repeats in verses 26 & 27, this pleased the Macedonians and Achaians and they were indebted. They owed the Christians in Jerusalem a favor. There seems to be a free interchange between a spiritual gift and a material gift.
It would seem the community of believers, Christians, are to be givers as God is a giver. In Romans 15 paints for us an incomplete list of God the a giver of...

1. perseverance
2. encouragement
3. joy
4. peace
5. hope
6. power
7. Holy Spirit

When you're giving you become very closely knit together. You become family. Recently, we had the pleasure of taking six little girls out for ice cream at the county fair. The golden heads had friends join us for the day and we teased them that they had become "DeWildes for the day." As one little friend began to throw her ice cream cone away because she was full, the engineer says, "Don't throw it away," somebody in our close knit "family" will eat it. (And they did.) Giving of time and resources made us family.
Therefore it's logical for Paul to say in verse 29, that when he finally is able to see the Romans eye to eye, he "will come in the fullness of the blessing of Christ." I've never noticed that the presence of believers is the full blessing of Christ. Do I see that when I'm with other Christians? Being with them is an abundance, full measure of favor conferred from God to me. It is for my full benefit. My cup should overflow.
The intravert in me doesn't know exactly how to take this. Camping with 40 people from church recently was overwhelming. I confess a grumpy attitude. I was focused on myself and missed the full measure of God's bounty. Looking back, I see what a pleasure it is to surrounded by so many people who love and accept you for you.
Last week, at the county fair again reaffirmed this truth. In the swine barn, surrounded by "competitors" that wouldn't smile or say hello. Not in it for the cut-throat competition, this was difficult to be surrounded by closed, excluding people. Contrast that with coming across friends from church who were warm, open, and including: the full blessing of Christ.
What gifts can you give materially and spiritually? Pray that God reveals and convicts you of what you are to give and then be a cheerful giver (2 Corinthians 9:7). Do you feel indebted to anyone? Act on your God-given convictions (Romans 14:13-18) and watch as he knits you together with other believers and you begin to experience the full blessing of Christ.

Harder

One discipline that I try to incorporate into my days is listening to podcasts. Mark Driscoll referred to listening to podcasts as "redeeming the time." Those who spend part of their day in a commute are likely to benefit from listening to a solid, Bible believing preacher. I listen while doing meanile tasks like making dinner, cleaning and weeding the garden. Listening to Mark Driscoll (Mars Hill) finish his series on the book of Ephesians, "I Am Rewarded," spoke volumes to how we (even moms) are to work as if working for the Lord, not men (Ephesians 6:7). I am a mom, working for Jesus, taking care of His golden heads. Jesus is my Boss, He see, knows and rewards me.  The next sermon in that series, "I Am Victorious" teaches how the armor of God is available to His children and that we are victorious (Ephesians 6:10-20) in the battle against satan. Since we are at war with satan, life is not going to be easy: "The harder it gets, the closer you're getting to God's will." In general, I find this so true of life these last years.
A day or two later, I remembered that statement while brushing my teeth and dry erased it onto the mirror. (I love to leave notes like this to encourage the engineer and I while we both begin and end our days in front of the bathroom mirror.) Yet a few hours later, at whit's end with my golden heads, I read it again and the light bulb of application luminates. Training my girls in the ways they should go is hard! This summer's goals of teaching them to clean, wash laundry, cook, plan, garden, sew, build campfires, get along with others, manage money...the list is extensive, constant and taxing.  It's hard because satan doesn't want me to actively parent but teaching the golden heads is surely God's will.

Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it. Proverbs 22:6

Along with that, acquiring a teacher's heart, patience, relinquishing control of my "in order" home, is conforming me into the image of Christ.

And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another. 2 Corinthians 3:18

So the job is hard but the benefit is two-fold. Praise be to God that I am both rewarded and victorious. In what circumstance do you find yourself in that's hard? Are you tempted to give up or will you choose to persevere knowing that you're moving closer to God's will?

Glimpse

Last weekend, my parents spent the night. My dad is a morning bird...I guess this apple didn't fall far from that tree. When the rain (of all things in December in Minnesota) woke me up and I heard rustling downstairs at 5am, I decided, well, I can always sleep, but I can't always visit with dad. So, with the coffee brewed, just the two of us cozied in next to the fireplace for an early morning chat.
After they had left and our home returned to normal, I began to reflect on the experience of that early morning chat. I love listening to my dad, hearing her perpective, thoughts, his heart. I can't hardly explain it, but I just love being in his presence. A day later, sitting in my spot gazing out the window, conversing with my heavenly, perfect Dad, I realize that I was given a gift. A gift to see a glimpse of what my heavenly Father is like. Paul said in 1 Corinthians 13:12, ^"For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face; now I know in part, but then I will know fully..." Enjoying a relationship with my earthly father, is a glimpse of how I will enjoy my heavenly Father's presence when I finally get home. Not only does it give me a faint image of my Heavenly Father, it fills my heart with joy because I've been blessed with a good relationship and godly earthly dad. I can't begin to fathom how awesome heaven will be.

Makes me

I've wrestled with this post for a while. I often find myself thinking I am so inadequate to write anything that might be beneficial to the reader. However, I will press on knowing that God called me to write.
In Psalm 23, a commonly quoted and often memorized psalm, a question came to me that I've never had before. In past perusing of this psalm, I've always pictured God leading me through green pastures, but recently in verse 2, I notice the phrase, "He makes me to lie down," and I wonder, what did David mean? Does he mean that God will make me by force to lie down in green pastures or does it mean that God made me by design with the need to lie down in green pastures? So, I study.
I don't actually have much experience in studying Hebrew. It seems complex to me, a trite bit intimidating. But I'll attempt to relay what I've come to understand. First off, the Hebrew for to make lay down is rabats and is repeated twice consecutively in Psalm 23:2. Here's what I found online in regards to repeated words in scripture that I found interesting.

In the Jewish understanding of Scripture, there is no such thing as repetition for its own sake.  That is, if a word or phrase is repeated, there is something new being conveyed; it is not simply the same thing said over again for emphasis (which can be eliminated without losing anything). Therefore, Jewish scholars search repeating elements more closely to discover what is different between the two (or more) cases, and what God was saying in each occurrence.

Because I'm not a Hebrew scholar, I couldn't see a difference in the two cases, a bit frustrating to me, but maybe God will show me an answer to that later. I did find that rabats is an active verb and causative verb, meaning that God actively causes me to lie down. I am given a cross reference of Ezekiel 34:14-15:

I will feed them in a good pasture, and their grazing ground will be on the mountain heights of Israel. There they will lie down on good grazing ground and feed in rich pasture on the mountains of Israel. "I will feed My flock and I will lead them to rest," declares the Lord God.

 I also found Zephaniah 3:13 as a cross reference that was enlightening to me:

The remnant of Israel will do no wrong and tell no lies, nor will a deceitful tongue be found in their mouths, for they will feed and lie down with no one to make them tremble.

I am so thankful that God is the Good Shepherd choosing to cause me lie to down not in dark, terrifying valleys but in green pastures (think abundant life to the full) where I can rest with no one to make me tremble. How fitting the David says in verse one, "I shall not want." Neither will I.

Adopted

"I am adopted, I'm a special kid you see. I'm proud to be a member of God's royal family." I remember singing that song as a child and singing it at church when dad taught the children's sermon bringing in an orphaned baby calf... Adoption is truly a picture of what God does for us.
Four years ago, I watched my sister and her husband adopt little Abigail. I've watched many at our church in Billings, adopt internationally from Ethiopia. I've see the sacrifice made on the part of the adopting parents and how the adopted children receive all the rights of natural-born children.
However, reading in Hosea 2:23, "I will call those who were not My people, 'My people,' and her who was not beloved, 'beloved.'" In 1:10, "In the place where it was said to them, 'You are not My people,' instead they shall be called sons of the Living God." As I contrasted those words not My people with sons and beloved, and see that God says I will call, meaning He chooses to call, it totally struck me that God chose to adopt me. Just as my sister and brother-in-law chose to adopt Abigail, God chose me. I am awed by this. I don't have much to bring to the table. Don't get me wrong, I'm thankful that He would decide to call me beloved and daughter, but totally humbled!
As I further study the idea of Christ adopting us in the Word (I'm realizing how much I find, so this is by no means extensive) I began a little list contrasting life as adopted or not adopted. Paul teaches in Romans 8:15, that we are not given a spirit of slavery which leads to fear but a spirit of adoption as sons. As a daughter, I am not called to be fearful for John says in 1 John 4:18, "perfect love casts out fear." As a daughter, I am heir to God and His glory (Romans 8:17). And reading through John, I am surprised to find how much Jesus talked about sonship or adoption. In chapter 8:34-35, Jesus says the the "son abides forever in his father's house," but a slave to sin (not adopted) does not live forever. In John 10, Jesus gives us the word picture of a good shepherd. As His daughter, He's my good shepherd and He knows me (verse 14). Contrast that with not being adopted, where Satan is given the title of "hired hand" who doesn't care about his sheep (verse 13). As the parents of an adopted child really get to know that child and truly care about their precious child, so Jesus cares about His children! In John 11, upon Lazarus' death, I believe Jesus weeps because He cares that His children are hurting.

Adopted	Not Adopted
Son/Daughter	Slave
No fear	Fear
Abides forever	Does not abide
Free	Slave
Jesus is a good Shepherd	Satan as a hired man
Knows His sheep/children	Does not know his slaves
Cares about His children	Doesn't care about his sheep/children

Look at the list, there's no doubt in my mind that adoption is a better way. The only way to life that never ends! But seeing this list convicts me and breaks my heart for those who haven't yet been adopted. May I live my life and love unbelievers so that they too may be adopted by the One who knows them.

Our protector

Friday, July 20, 2012
Enjoying dinner in the comfortable shade amidst the stifling July summer, the golden heads and I are excited for the engineer, daddy, to return home after a week-long work trip out of town. In between the "I miss Daddy," and "What time will he be home?" I become the student.
"I like it when Daddy's home because if it thunderstorms, he knows what to do."
("Mommy doesn't so much.")
"Yea, it's because he cares about us and wants to take care of us."
At first hearing, I am offended, but not when God graciously reveals the symbolism. Their daddy cares about them and wants to take care of them...how much more does God care about them, us, and want to take care of us? What a beautiful analogy. What a privilege we have as parents. And what a blessed woman am I to realize that the engineer is modeling to our golden heads two of God's characteristics: protector, lover of our souls.

Always there

Thursday, May 17, 2012

As I look out the window on a very cloudy morning, about sunrise, I see the sun peeking through the clouds, striking beauty of sunrays and orange-red color. Astonishingly beautiful! How is it that God continually amazes me with new ways to paint the sunrise, every day making me stop to wonder at His creativity and majesty? And then I think about how He made the earth, the sun, and our solar system. Aligning them so that the sun is always there. Even on cloudy days, the sun is still burning at the center of our universe. It may or may not pop its head through the thick clouds. And so it is with the Son of God: Christ. He is always there, even on “cloudy,” depressing, hard-pressed days. He promised to never leave me or forsake me. His right hand will hold me fast. “I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” Isaiah 41:10. So I will not fear no matter what life on earth may bring. This life is as close to hell as I will ever experience because I know that I will live forever in the perfection of heaven. May I always choose to see Christ no matter how cloudy life gets.

1.       Capris that still fit

2.       Sweat

3.       White fluffy seeds fluttering through the breeze

4.       Boisterous one looking up at me

5.       Baths that cool us down and refresh

6.       Donating hair to Locks of Love

7.       Top Secret with Leba

8.       Watches so the girls can be home at 5

9.       Walking and talking with girls to the park

10.   Painted turtle

11.   Praying on skype

12.   Having sisters so you CAN fight

13.   Cast clubbing me in bed

14.   Feet digging into my legs under the covers

15.   Wind died down for a while

16.   Grand Day with two grandmas here

17.   Yard sale find of Little House series

18.   Puzzles on the floor

19.   Girl time

20.   The compassionate one baking brownies for cousins

21.   Zumba

22.   Tripod (yoga) with the girls

23.   Back hero (stretch) with the girls

24.   The engineer getting a haircut

25.   Mischievous cousins painting each others’ faces

26.   Six cousins playing for hours on the trampoline

27.   Serving my sister by cleaning

28.   The biggest, longest hug from my sister

29.   Working alongside mom and grandma

30.   Micah having dessert with the adults

31.   Being close enough to go help for the day

32.   Hearing Rebekah and Micah play piano recital pieces

33.   A nap on the drive home

34.   Strawberry rhubarb pie

35.   All the colors in the sky

36.   Planting the garden as a family

37.   Smell of the tiller on the engineer

38.   Pippi Longstocking field trip

39.   Assembling the wheel barrow with the compassionate one

40.   Crystal clear reflection in the pond

41.   That I have a pond outside my home

42.   Lettuce & spinach growing in a pot on the deck

43.   Sticky spot on the floor

44.   Flour dusted onto the kitchen floor

45.   Rainy day to shop with the girls

46.   Goodwill Toddler Thursday

47.   Speaking through the thunder – Be still

48.   Clean basement

49.   Godly, wise saints who share insight

50.   Prayer after a bad dream

51.   Going back to bed after that prayer

52.   Grandma Edna teaching me to send them back to bed

53.   The bad dream that woke me early to do yoga

54.   Itunes to download and listen instantly

55.   Landa’s influence on my life

56.   Plants withstanding the wind

57.   The engineer having breakfast with us

58.   Mail to send

59.   Peace Lilly

60.   Pillows on bed

61.   Things the compassionate one gave thanks for: bed, clothes, pillows, food, ?

62.   Wisdom to lead her toward gratitude

63.   “If you can’t decide what to wear, you have too many clothes,” dad

64.   Saving for the hello kitty camera

65.   The calculating one, thriving with a plan

66.   The calculating one sharing her new ponies

67.   Empathy from my mother-in-law

68.   Rustling of aspens

69.   Cottonwoods spinning cotton, reminding me of Montana

70.   Boisterous one’s scribbles in my book

71.   Ability to rebuke Satan

72.   Jesus drinking the cup of wrath intended for me

73.   The compassionate one in the front seat

74.   Remembering clean underwear

75.   Boisterous one singing “Amazing Grace”

76.   Calculating one requesting “Amazing Grace” while riding on the tube

77.   Goldhead’s penmanship in Grandma’s card

78.   Being able to give Grandma a small birthday gift

79.   Rhubarb Torte

80.   Being able to take girls to the lake

81.   New tube

82.   Suckers on the boat

83.   Seeing the engineer on the boat

84.   All nine of us in the boat

85.   Evening visit with mom and dad

86.   Phase 10 game

87.   Amazing wall cloud

88.   Not down pouring when the engineer picked up Dar’s

89.   “New story, new story” and then dad telling a story

90.   Mom playing doctor

91.   Visit with Holly

92.   Cool night breeze in a hot stuffy room

93.   Listening to grandma and grandpa visit with the goldenheads

94.   Worship at Faith Community

95.   Katrina leading worship

96.   Standing with hand high and heart abandoned

97.   Spirit convicting of sin

98.   Walk and talk with Kayla

99.   A summer ahead to play

100.    Scenic route

101.    Slowing down to go through little towns

102.    Mississippi valley

103.    Two-lane roads

104.    Diverse beauty from state to state

105.    Iowa farmland

106.    Small town Culver’s

107.    90’s music station

108.    Baseball field nestled among cornfields

109.    Elissa’s Benjamin

110.     2 snapping turtles on my run

111.    Enough water pressure to make sprinkler spin

112.    God knowing intricate details of my body

113.    Forgiveness from the engineer

114.    No condemnation for those in Christ Jesus (Romans 8:1)

115.    Camping

116.    Relevant worship experiences for the girls

117.    Mom teaching me about spraying weeds, gardening, landscaping, decorating

118.    Eagerness to see my sister

119.    Bible Camp

120.    Flower seeds sprouting in front of house

121.    Closer connection with Bryce & Kayla

122.    Dad texting

123.    Perseverance to fix drawer, hang towel bar and shade

124.    Looking at the Bible camp website with the compassionate one

125.    The calculating one playing Little Red

126.    The older golden heads loving school

127.    The compassionate one beginning to wear deodorant…growing up

128.    The compassionate one being invited to Carli’s birthday party

129.    Conversations with Carli’s mom-Kelly

130.    The hymnal – teaching the golden heads “Seek Ye First”

131.    Energy to stay up until 2am & wake at 5am

132.    Time to be still

133.    Fingerprints & smudges to clean up after

134.    The calculating one praying for me

135.    The compassionate one voluntarily weeding the garden

136.    “I’m not working as hard as I should be,” while weeding

137.    Pizza on the deck

138.    Barbeque sauce

139.    Twenty-four egg whites whipped to firm peaks

140.    Mock-Angelfood cake with strawberries and whipped cream

141.    Being able to celebrate Lucas’ birthday with him

142.    The celebrate plate….yea, sissies are home for summer!

143.    Help from golden heads packing for camping

144.    Packing lists

145.    The big girls helping the boisterous one take a shower

146.    Choosing to forgo sleep to help mom pack

147.    Good communication with the older golden heads

148.    Plenty of food to pack

149.    Bing cherries on sale

150.    Bean and corn salsa

151.    Golden heads sleeping in so I can spend more time thanking in a list

152.    Golden heads wanting to be with me

153.    Golden heads telling me how to be a better mom and person

154.    Compassionate one’s opinion about the tent

155.    Feeling like I’m outside of myself…acting godly, not like me

156.    All five of us hanging out on the boat

157.    Cousins tubing

158.    Micah driving the boat

159.    Showing up late to dinner because we took kids tubing

160.    Help that the compassionate one gives the family

161.    Family dynamic realized

162.    Opportunity for compassionate one to go to Bible Camp

163.    The calculating one trying on my wedding dress

164.    The calculating one reading to little sister

165.    The calculating one entering the chocolate chip cookie contest

166.    The boisterous one picking up the puppet at the library

167.    Figuring out audiobooks for the golden heads

168.    Finding a Mandie audiobook

169.     The engineer memorizing scripture during his commute

170.    Deck wash

171.    A “think” with the calculating one

172.    Retaining wall bricks leveled

173.    Washing of garden gloves in the rain

174.    The boisterous one’s raincoat

175.    Designing for Verox

176.    Printer in Farmington

177.    7:30 summer mornings

178.    “I love school” plastered on take homes

179.    Rotating tires

180.    Giffey’s coming to visit

181.    Lazy mornings

182.    Finishing the bike path

183.    The engineer and I agreeing on deck stain

184.    Mourning Dove’s cry

185.    Knowing how to fix a bike tire

186.    Evening walk

187.    Calculating one sewing & seam ripping

188.    Solar light dragon fly