Kaboom!

Sometimes I have an Ah, duh! moments. And I've been thinking for the last four days, I need to claim the power available to me because Christ lives in me. The process has seemed so elusive to me.

"I also pray that you will begin to understand how incredibly great God's power is to help those who believe him. It is that same mighty power that raised Christ from the dead and seated him in the place of honor at God's right hand in heaven." Ephesians 1:19-20, TLB

Overwhelmed would well describe the past few weeks for me. So much to shuffle, struggling to manage my time and priorities, tired physically and emotionally of parenting, selfishly wanting time for myself (which one would think is crazy since all the golden heads are in school now and I have the entire school day quiet) and wrestling with connection and communication with the engineer. I haven't quite figured out what to do with myself. I know Jesus holds the answer but how?
As I was preparing to teach on Paul's letter to the Corinthians, I became convicted of needing to take hold of the power available to me. It's like the Starbucks gift card in my wallet that I'm saving for "special occasions," so it remains unused. I have this power "card", but like my Starbucks card, I'm saving it for when I "really" need it. Ah, duh, I need it now. I need it every day. And unlike a gift card, God's power never runs out. God keeps reloading the card.
Lying in bed in the middle of the night, my mind goes full circle. Months ago, I learned and committed to memory: God as my loving Father will meet all my needs, all my physical needs and my need for purpose, peace and power. And He can meet those needs when the  Holy Spirit is ruling my life. Ah, duh, I knew that! I couldn't sleep anymore. Power, power, power kept flashing through my mind. While the sky lightened, I picked up Mark chapter two and power keep surfacing: power to heal, power to witness to the unsaved, power to be Lord of all.

"For the kingdom of God (Christ within me)…is living by power!" 1 Corinthians 4:20

How? I need a plan. To steel the one-liner from the A-Team, "I love it when a plan comes together." So what is my plan? My plan includes

1. Self-talk: In my moments of temptation, trial and weakness, I need to tell myself, "I am empowered by the Holy Spirit and that is more than enough power to make it through ___." 
2. Taking a deep breath, confessing my mess-up and choosing to do the opposite. 
3. Praying for the one who's driving me nuts. 

If I choose to use it: kaboom! His power will always comes through for me.
So what's your plan? How do you remind yourself to claim the unlimited, unending power available to you?

Nets

"Follow me, and I will make you become fishers of men." And immediately they left their nets and followed him. Mark 1:17

 The ESV adds become in its translation, indicating an future process of change or growing. The disciples weren't yet fishers of men, but would be transformed into what Jesus' will was for them and Jesus would do the work (I will make). Jesus did the fashioning, molding or transforming in his disciples in New Testament times and is molding you and me now if we follow him. Our action of following comes first.

And immediately Jesus left the synagogue and entered the house of Simon and Andrew, with James and John. Now Simon's mother-in-law lay ill with a fever, and immediately they told him about her. And he came and took her by the hand and lifted her up, and the fever left her, and she began to serve them. Mark 10:29-31

Simon had a mother-in-law, so we infer that he was married. Simon left more that just his nets, to follow Jesus; he left his family for a time (or maybe his family followed Jesus and his disciples.) This rocked me. If Jesus calls the engineer to do a completely time-consuming ministry in which Jesus would work through him and the engineer had to leave our family for days and weeks to become what Jesus intends, I would have a really hard time accepting God's will. I have always held tightly to keeping family before or above ministry on the priority list. This revelation of family in Scripture reminds me to hold loosely. However, I am comforted: Jesus showed up at Simon's house and healed Simon's mother-in-law. Jesus cares about families and will take care of them, providing for all their needs. I'm sure he'd do this even if Jesus hadn't physically walked into the home. He is an omnipresent God. I wonder what the perspective would be from Simon's wife. How many stories would she have of how God provided, cared and healed their family while she was "holding down the fort" during Simon's following?
A day after my pondering, the blue Jays moved in. In my office, I look out a window overlooking the boisterous one's rainbow flower garden. At first I noticed just one blue jay, then realized it was a whole flock. I had never noticed a blue jay in my yard prior to this, so it really grabbed my attention. I wondered why they had moved in and then I recalled the sunflowers she had planted. Food: the blue jays were after the sunflower seeds. Remember that movie, Field of Dreams and that famous voice in the corn field: "If you build it, they will come," ? Suddenly in my head is the phrase, "If you feed them, they will come."
Mark chapter one: fishers of men. If you feed them (literally as Jesus did feed the 5000+ and then 4000+ and figuratively feeding spiritually), they will come. Read through any gospel account, people flocked to him! When they follow, God's Word and Holy Spirit will do the work to transform them.
In the middle of preparing my teaching on 1 Corinthians 3, I see the parallel. Our class membership attendance has fallen from last year. But if follow (and leave my nets) he will make me become fisher of men. And if I feed them, they will come.
Since my calling, I've had the hardest time leaving my nets: my family. Just a day prior, the boisterous one ran off the school bus and asked, "You're coming to my fall walk, aren't you?" In fact, I had not volunteered for this field trip. Intentionally, this was an act of leaving my net. And even now as I work on my teaching, watching the blue jays, her look of devastation rips my heart in two. I know I'm called to teach right now but I'm feeling guilting about "leaving" my family. Knowing I'm following Him, I press on in my study and preparation.
A while later, I indulge in the last piece of Dove dark chocolate from Valentine's Day. (It is fall but, chocolate keeps, right?) I don't believe in horoscopes but I do believe God speaks to us in sometimes bizarre ways. Inside the chocolate foil is a message: "You are exactly where you are suppose to be." Not on a field trip, but parked in God's Word preparing for teaching. So I resolve to do the work God has called me to for this season and allow him to provide and care for my family as I follow.

"For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them." Ephesians 4:10

You have a mission you are called to for Christ. What is your "net" right now? Practice flexing your trust muscles and leave your "net" to walk following Him.

Excess

Awake in the middle of the night, the to do list blinks through my racing mind. Oh, Jesus, I have so much to accomplish tomorrow. Please multiply my time so that I finish well what NEEDS to be done and the let the rest take care of itself. Somehow I fell back to sleep and awoke with the alarm, choosing to begin my day on-time despite the lack of sleep and doing the routine that makes me better (a short workout, drip time and time with God.) My prayer remained, God, multiply my time. I don't see how I can get all this done! Multiply. Make it divinely only possible because You work in my middle.
By 5pm, there was only one item on the list remaining: preparing a devotion for the next day. God had not yet impressed on me what He wanted me to share. Clearly, it would take some time just sitting and listening to Him. The compassionate one had dinner in the oven and I smiled. I had an hour until dinner to spend time listening. Sitting in the middle of the bees buzzing around the blooming flowers, I was in awe. How'd He do that? How'd I get all that done? I didn't seem possible that I should have an extra hour in my day. Yet here I was sitting in the sunshine, adoring His creation: the bees, flowers, clouds, leaves, blades of grass, the sound of children playing…
Somehow that night, I wasn't anxious for the first day in my new leadership role at Community Bible Study. I enjoyed a bike ride, time reading with a golden head, bedtime prayers and PBS with the engineer.

"..in every way you were enriched in Him in all speech and all knowledge--so that you are not lacking in any spiritual gift, as you wait for the revealing of our Lord Jesus Christ, who will sustain you to the end guiltless in the day of our Lord Jesus Christ. God is faithful, by whom you were called into the fellowship of his Son, Jesus Christ our Lord." 1 Corinthians 1:5-9

When Paul writes, “that in every way you were enriched in him in all speech and all knowledge,” based on the meaning of the greek word translated enriched, it means God goes so far to richly supply in excess, every thing in every way for every need by means of the Holy Spirit IN the believer. The Christ follower lacks nothing while they wait for Christ to return.
I'm reminded of how Jesus fed the 5000 men (plus women and children) with five loaves of bread and two fish. When the disciples collected the leftovers (seriously, leftovers?) they took up twelve baskets full of broken piece and of the fish. God supplied richly, in excess! (Mark 6:30-42)
I know God chooses to do that for us sometimes. He seemly warped time to provide for me. Don't get me wrong, I loathe, dispose and hate time-travel movies. Ask the engineer, in two-minutes I'll be mentally checked out and snoring in five! But somehow when God's the one bending the time, it's a bit more realistic and fascinating! And I'm part of that action flick.
Where is God calling you to trust Him to richly supply in excess? Time, money, patience? Talk to Him continually and get ready to pick up the leftovers!

Too much

Making a "chore" fun, I asked the compassionate one to resurrect all the fall decorations and tuck away the summer ones. The next day, as I settle in for some drip time, my attention falls upon the mantle: a mix of summer and fall and entirely too much. I chuckle and then I realize. I realize that sometime our schedules are just too much.

Sometimes we need to say, "no," but to what? I make a quick list of my commitments. Which of these need a no? They're all good. Which ones on the list won't last? Which ones can I come back to later? 

It's so difficult to put away good, valuable and worthwhile tasks and commitments. As I look at my favorite spring tulips (silk flowers, embarassingly a favorite) and recall that if I put them away for a season or two, when I find them again in March, they look more lovely.
What if I took something off my schedule for just a season? Would it appear more precious when it returned? 

For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven:
a time to be born, and a time to die;
a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;
a time to kill, and a time to heal;
a time to break down, and a time to build up;
a time to weep, and a time to laugh;
a time to mourn, and a time to laugh;
a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together;
a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
a time to seek, and a time to lose;
a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
a time to tear, and a time to sew;
a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
a time to love and a time to hate;
a time for war, and a time for peace.
I perceived that there is nothing better for them than to be joyful and to do good as long as they live; also that everyone should eat and drink and take pleasure in all his toil--this is God's gift to man. Ecclesiastes 3:1-8, 12-13

When our Bible study parts for the summer, it's okay. It's time for a change of pace. But in fall, glancing through the list of names attending and the feel of a new workbook in hand, I can't wait to get started again; God's gift to me. The off-season makes the resuming sweeter.

When the calculating one says, "Mom, I want to read to you," and I begrudgingly snuggle in beside her, I do the task out of discipline, and then my heart is filled with joy. This is God's gift to momma. This is a season that won't last! And so I know that time with my golden heads will not be struck from the list, but that which can wait will. It is a constant prioritization.

And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him. Colossians 3:17

What do you need to give up, even if just for a season? Make a list of your commitments then talk with God. Consider these questions. Which of these won't last? Which of these brings me joy; is God's gift to me? Which of these need striking?

About perfect

As my baby ventures off to school, I can't quite shake this thought; when she holds my hand, her little paw in mine, it feels about perfect. There are few things more wonderful than that feeling. By design, it fits just right. And yet, I know this fit is fleeting. Her hand will grow. I must train her in the way she should go. I need to become less and He more in her life. She needs to leave me and cleave to Christ. Yet, I never want to forget what it feels like to have her little hand in mine. Does Christ feel the same of me? Whether I am curled up, laid out or basking in the reality of His presence, is He thinking, I just can't get enough of this? I'm not sure. I'm reminded of Mary, Jesus' mother.

And all who head it wondered at that the shepherds told them. But Mary treasured up all these things, pondering them in her heart. Luke 2:17-18

Here come the shepherd with a message from the angels about this child who is the Messiah, Savior of the world. Everyone is wondering, Is this for real, but Mary treasured. I can't help but notice the contrast. I could wonder what the future holds for this boisterous one, wonder God's feeling for me or I could treasure the moment.
Watching the sunrise, the leaves fully intact to their branches, there's a frame. A little window through the leaves that reaches straight through to the sunlight. Not the whole panoramic view, just a small snippet.

For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known. 1 Corinthians 13:12

I know when I see Him face to face, I will see the whole panoramic view. Maybe her little hand in mine is just a glimpse. A glimpse of what glory will be like. What it will feel like for my hand to literally be nestled inside His. But I will treasure.

Different but same

Breathing hard and forcing my body to go, Exhale, inhale, exhale, inhale. He gives me a gift: a gorgeous goldfinch. A feast for my eyes. An invitation for conversation with Him, to take my mind of the agony of the run. Our conversation is filled with thanksgiving and He blesses me again with another goldfinch to marvel. Then, in camouflage, I see him; the mourning dove. My absolute favorite sound in the morning (yes, more than the coffee perking) is their song; perrr-coo, coo, coo. Yet, he's kinda ugly. Mostly uniform color of grey-brown and a member of the pigeon family, he doesn't look beautiful as the bright yellow finch.
And God gently says, They have different gifts and are equally mine. How true of His children as well.

Now there are varieties of gifts, but the same Spirit; and there are varieties of service, but the same Lord; and there are varieties of activities, but it is the same God who empowers them all in everyone. To each is given the manifestation of the Spirit for the common good. 1 Corinthians 12:4-7

The same Spirit that lives in my golden heads, pastor, best friend, and the engineer lives in me. The Spirit gives each believer a gift (hospitality, mercy, leadership, evangelism, encouragement, giving, service, Biblical counseling, apostles, wisdom, knowledge, faith, healing, miracles, prophecy, discernment, speaking in tongues, interpreting tongues, teaching, administration, etc.) as He chooses (1 Corinthians 12:11). Because our all-knowing God sees the big picture, He assigns different gifts to various believers and then weaves His believers together so that we as His church can accomplish His purposes. A mature believer uses their gift to serve Jesus, in gratitude for Jesus paying the debt of our sin. Because there are different gifts, this service looks different for everyone.
The engineer was given gifts of knowledge and service. I am gifted in hospitality and faith.
Different gifts, same Holy Spirit.
Because the engineer was given a gift to learn, research and study, he spends his time looking at every detail of buying a minivan. With faith and hospitality in my corner, I optimistically see the big picture and trust God will direct our paths to what we need. I spend my time praying and packing snacks and drinks so the golden heads don't collapse of starvation while we are out car shopping.
Different service, same Jesus.
We are both temples for the same Holy Spirit and we both use our gifts to serve and glorify Jesus' name by providing for our family. And giving life, energy and ability for all this activity is God, the Father and creator and sustainer of everything.
Different activities, same God.
The Holy Spirit, Jesus and God have different roles but are one, so also we as believers can can different giftings, service and action but serve and glorify one God and be unified, as one.
Before you discredit a fellow believer from brining something "good" to the table, recognize what their gifting is and repent of judging. Like the finch and the mourning dove, you are both valuable and equally God's. Thank God for her and your gifting and praise God that He weaves these different gifts together into one cloth for His purpose.

Spy and dig deeper

I spy with my little eye, eastern Montana's golden hills, scattered trees and arid landscape. How many people living here stop to marvel at this daily beauty? To see something every day is to begin not seeing. But to gaze once a year is eye candy if we only take time to let it soak in. Would they say the same about the cornfield out my window?

I spy with my little eye… What amazes me is that it's so easy to spy other's sin. Is this so that we dig deeper into our own lives?
In Doreen Cronin's children's book, Diary of a Worm, the worm's story is told.

April 4
Fishing season started today. We all dug deeper.

What if we dug deeper instead of judging? I am quick to spy the selfishness in a golden head. Yet, if I dig deeper to consider my own life; I am typically concerned with myself and my "needs." From across the isle, I spy the busy schedule of those who couldn't possibly be able to spend quality time with God at such pace. Yet, I am running helter-skelter this month to squeeze every last minute out of summer. I spy the stern demanding of one's own way, yet I spaaz out when the engineer suggests something that wasn't on my ical. I spy unsubmission, but know I am guilty.

Judge not, that you be not judged, For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you. Why do you see the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' when there is the log in your own eye? You hypocrite..  Mt 7:1-5a

What I am thankful in this digging is that it helps me see how ugly my sin is and brings me to repentance. I can look on others' sins and see how putrid it looks, but choosing not to judge and spying my own sin log humbles me and makes me grateful for the forgiveness of my ugly sin! If I only take the time to dig deeper…

Search me, O God, and know my heart!
Try me and know my thoughts!
And see if there be any grievous way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting! Psalm 139:23-24

When did you last spy the sin of a brother or sister in Christ? Likely not long ago, since none of us have become the believer God intends. Did you judge them? Dig deeper, asking God what He is really trying to show you through the situation.