Overwhelmed

Sitting down to collect thoughts, my heart is heavy. Not with depression or burden but with gratefulness. While the world would tell me to feel overwhelmed with the great responsibilities placed before me, I feel like I could scream of the faithful provider God!
The boisterous one loves praise God for being a giver. A giver indeed. He gives me a High Priest, Jesus. The best counsel ever. Hebrews 7-10 is a treasure trove of ways Jesus is my perfect priest. When I need advice, when I need an liaison, a minister, and best of all, He has offered Himself as a perfect, one time, for all of time sacrifice for all my sin.
He gives the Holy Spirit within me and the Spirit will never leave me. It's mind blowing that I can have the mind of Christ. "You don't know what I'm thinking!" golden heads spout to me. Paul talks about this in 1 Corinthians 2:6-16. As Christ's child, indwelled by the Holy Spirit, I can receive a secret hidden wisdom of God (v. 7). These things are revealed to me by the Spirit in me and the Spirit knows, because He is God (v. 10). We have received the Spirit of God so we can understand what God's heart is on matters and we can give these words to others. Therefore, Paul concludes, "We have the mind of Christ," (v. 16). AMAZING!
He gives me godly friends and their words (given to them by the Spirit) minister to me just when I need them most! Affirmation and clarification, just when my faith begins to buckle.
What in the world have I done to deserve this? I am not perfect! I am daily struggling with idols…turning to food not Christ for comfort! I am raising my voice to the calculating one. I am least deserving of His faithful provision. 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 reminds me of what God's will is for me:

Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances for this is God's will for me…

To be joyful always, constantly pray and be habitually thankful demands that I spend my entire life in His presence, in relationship with Him. He is my invisible friend.
For years now, the boisterous one has had invisible friends that are constantly by her side and experiencing life with her. When she experiences something, wouldn't you know, her friend Brianna had the same thing happen…. Do I see God as my invisible friend? When I'm against the wall, do I realize my invisible friend has experienced this before, is empathetic and has a solution?
When I fully embrace a lifestyle of God as my invisible friend, I will realize that He speaks and He directs me in all my burdensome responsibilities. As a wife, waking in the middle of the night, burdened the current circumstances between me and the engineer, God gives me direction and tells me to practice the gentleness of 1 Peter 3:4. As a mom, the golden heads telling me how to parent as they fight and bicker; I pray, asking God what to do and He gives me an idea I've never had before allowing the golden heads to address the heart of the issue. As a spiritual leader, needing to call upon additional leadership for the coming year. I've been praying, (practically impatiently waiting) and then God gives the words of affirmation for other leadership in perfect timing.
God is a generous giver. May I spend my life in the prescence of my perfect invisible friend, being joyful, praying and thanking Him for being that Giver.
List out what responsibilities lay heavy on your mind and heart. For each responsibility, thank God for the opportunity to have that responsibility. This will give you a joyful heart. Pray He directs your path in that area. Practice this consistently throughout your day and expectantly wait for Him to give what you need, when you need it most.

Run away

Physically fatigued, driving through heavy snow and traffic, the battle raged in my head. Wipers and defrost on high and struggling to see, Satan echoes in my mind, "You can't do this. You can't even get there. A leader in Bible Study has to live closer and be physically available. You're not committed to this Bible Study, you want to turn around and go home." Lies. Deep inside, I know these are lies but I can't quite shake the doubt that I'm not the right person for this ministry.

Safely arrived and listening to shared insight and revelations from the Lord, Satan taunts again, "You don't know anything compared to everyone else here. You are not qualified to lead. Others are more equipped than you." Struggling to focus on the discussion, I acknowledge these are Satan's lies, and turn my mind to what is true, honorable, right..(Philippians 4:8.) What do we do when the lies we hear contradict what we believe God has told us? Two things: recall and seek again. We prayed about the call to serve in leadership; believers affirmed me, God opened doors, His Word and Spirit affirmed. Still, the doubt. Can you relate? Have you ever pounded your head against the wall saying, I can't do this? The kids are whining and demanding. The deadline has come and gone; your company and personal reputation are on the line. Showtime is in ten minutes and you're not prepared. I can't do this.

Opening my Bible after a good night's rest, I am again amazed at how His mercies are new every morning (Lamentations 3:22-23). This is seeking again.

Seek the Lord and His strength,
Seek His presence continually. 1 Chronicles 16:11

It is not your own strength that can accomplish the tasks to which He calls you. His strength through you is sufficient. Your inadequacies cause you to rely on His strength.

For is who is God except the Lord?
And who is a rock, except our God?
God is my strength and power
and He makes my way perfect. 2 Samuel 22:32

He is solid, dependable and unbreakable. There is no task you cannot face without Him within you. He is within you when you believe in Christ, God's perfect Son sent to earth to offer His life for your wrong doing. You get so much for so little. 

When you accept the roles and position He calls you to, whether it be motherhood, leadership at work, in the community or church, and then obey His commands you will be equipped.

ACCEPT + OBEY = EQUIPPED

After you say "yes" to the road He places before you, comes the obedience. You have to be completely yielded to Him and available for God to work through you. When you experience success, He gets the glory. When you face a road block, you know He will work a miracle and if He doesn't, He's directing you somewhere else. We are all created with a sinful nature. We want our own way. We need Him to remove our heart of stone and give us His heart.

Whatever God calls you to, He wants you to serve Him through that ministry. 

Regard us as servants of Christ and stewards of the mysteries of God. Moreover, it is required of stewards that they be found trustworthy. 1 Corinthians 4:1-2

Merriam-Webster defines a stewards as "a person whose job is to manage the land and property of another person." God trusts you to manage His land and property with the tasks He puts before you. This is your ministry. Do those you minister to also trust you? In Jesus' parable of the talents, the master applauds those who are faithful with a little and rewards them with more to manage (Matthew 25:21, 23).

It seems surreal to me that God has placed in my heart such a deep desire to know Him more and His Word. To wake up in the morning, wondering, "What is He going to teach me today?" This seems unnatural. I would have never imagined myself like this five-years ago. I don't know why God has called me to write. He keeps affirming me in it though through His Spirit, people and circumstances. I felt like the Spirit called me to write every week this year. Discipline is super-natural! I am not super-natural, but Christ in me is. I could runaway from the ministry He has placed before me, but He trusts me to be available to do it through me.

Listen to the song by Waterdeep and let the lyrics be a conversation with God.

I could run away 

But You would never leave 

You would always stay 

Right by my side 

Everything I've ever wanted 

I've found in you 

And I need you, Oh I need you 

Every step of the way

Sifting

A couple years ago, a dear friend introduced me to the wonder of grinding fresh wheat flour. Unfortunately, she had acquired some wheat that had not yet been cleaned of all the chaff. A relatively easy task, was easily quadrupled in time as we labored over each kernel of wheat, making sure every kernel was free of chaff. Unless the wheat kernels are separated from the chaff, the wheat is not ready to be ground into flour.
This past experience returned snuck to the forefront of my memory as I recalled Jesus' conversation with Peter predicting Peter's denial of Himself in Luke 22:31. "Simon, Simon, behold, Satan demanded to have you, that he might sift you like wheat." Strikingly, Satan sometimes asks God for permission to test us (recall Job's testing) and sometimes we need the sifting. This concept was first introduced to me by Beth Moore in her book, When Godly People Do Ungodly Things, over four years ago. So should we ask for sifting? What a dangerous prayer! Many would say it like this, "Oh Lord, refine me." The refining is so difficult. But it comes with a promise.
I love Paul's prayer for the Thessalonians in his first letter, chapter 5:23-24

Now may the God of peace himself sanctify you completely, and may your whole spirit and soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. He who calls you is faithful; he will surely do it.

 This is the prayer I need to pray. Notice that it begins with the proclamation that God is peace. He provides me peace and He is at peace with me because I believe Jesus' sacrifice for my sin makes me right with God (Romans 5:1). It is this God, at peace with me, that will make all of me holy, pure and blameless. He will use daily challenges and life's obstacles to make me holy. Do I truly embrace this? When my compassionate one is having an "emotional moment," crying and yelling at her sisters and I feel helpless, myself ready to scream, do I see this as God making me holy? When I'm impatient with friends spinning their wheels in their own poor choices and I want to yell, "Just stop it," but am called to love, encourage and pray. Do I welcome this sifting? Every obstacle in life, no matter big or small, is an opportunity to be transformed into the image of Christ. Unless I am sifted, like the wheat my friend and I cleaned, I am not ready to be used by the Lord.
Last, don't overlook the promise at the end of the verse; God is faithful and He will do it. He will do the refining as I look toward Him.
This reflecting makes me realize, it's always so easy to see other people's sin. I can see God using circumstances to refine others, somehow, I think I'm missing the refining He wants to do in me. Why is it always so easy to see other people's sin? Peter didn't recognize his sin until the rooster crowed the third time. I'm not much different. How do I prevent this? When we look at others we have a different perspective. Imagine looking at a VanGogh from two inches away. Now step back two feet. You see a different picture. Do I step back from my own life often enough to see a different picture? Driptime is a great time for this. Use this time to examine your life. Use Psalm 139:1-2, 23-24 and 1 Corinthians 11:28 to evaluate your circumstances and listen to God. I've been woken up in the middle of the night lately with revelations I believe are from God. Most recently, He revealed to me us use my circumstance to practice being gentle in spirit.
Also, do I have people in my life who love me enough to speak the truth in love? Someone who loves me enough to step up to the plate when I need a 2x4 over the head to realize I'm being stupid and need to stop and repent? These people are grounded in God's Word and tell me the truth from His Word, not what I want to hear.
Jesus went on to tell Peter, "But I have prayer for you that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned again, strengthen your brothers." Jesus prays for us and cheers us on through our times of sifting. We need to trust, persevere and when necessary, repent. Turn 180 degrees to the Lord and after we've been strengthened, encourage the church.
I am so thankful that Peter was sifted! When you read the first 12 chapters of Acts, you see how mightily God used Peter to build the church through Peter's leadership, witness, preaching and even miracles.
Take two steps back from your life's circumstance and examine it. Ask God to speak to you (1 Samuel 3:9) and listen. How is God using this circumstance to sift you? Pray for strength to persevere and claim a verse to repeat out loud every time the battle gets too hard.

Digging holes

One of my favorite family movies is "Holes." A wrongfully convicted boy is sent to a brutal desert detention camp where he joins the job of digging holes for some mysterious reason. The comical warden of the camp, Mr. Sir, explains why the boys are digging holes:

"You take a bad boy, make him dig holes all day in the hot sun, it turns him into a good boy. That's our philosophy here at camp green lake."

Digging holes would build character. Character is forged in adversity. Think on the apostle Paul. Ironic that the book of Philippians is likely one of the most quoted books of the Bible for it's inspirational, encouraging verses yet when you look at it in context…the wake up call. Paul penned these inspirational words from prison, in chains. Talk about adversity. Yet, here's one thing he says,

I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. Philippians 4:12

Often, I've looked at this verse in terms of financial state. Today, I look at it in the context of stage of life. Whether you're a college student, starting your first job, in a taxing career, just married, feel "bare foot and pregnant" with kids crawling and running all over, a "soccer mom" taxiing children all over the place, sending your children off to college, experiencing an empty nest or spending your days serving the Lord, have you determined to be content in your life stage? Or do you find yourself, as I do often, thinking if only… or someday when...
Every stage of life has some obstacle. These obstacles will build your character. I've heard it said once that who you are at 30 is highly a result of your circumstances, but who you are at 40 (and beyond) is a result of your character. 
Abraham Lincoln said, "Reputation is the shadow. Character is the the tree." In essence, character  is who we are when no one is looking. Jesus said, "You will recognize them by their fruits," Matthew 7:16, 20. Who we are underneath our skin is evident by what we say and do. 
Do our lives exude the characteristics of a Holy Spirit-filled life as Paul taught in Galatians 5:22-23: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control? This is character of the highest caliber.
No matter your stage of life and obstacles in your stage, trust in God's purpose for this stage and allow Him to use it to transform you to be more like His Son, Jesus, our perfect example. 

And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:19

He is faithful in supplying our needs but what we need most is sanctification; to be made holy, to be like Christ Jesus (Romans 8:20). He called you to this season of life for such a time as this…to be conformed, so be content with whatever state you're in. 
Who do you want to be in ten years? Are you allowing the "digging of holes" in your current stage of life to build character? God did not call you to this stage of life to show how strong, smart or talented you are but rather how faithful He is. Choose contentment and trust in His purpose.

Your plan and steps

The plan was adventurously simple: we'd hike a 5-mile trek along the Superior Hiking Trail. Not simple was the volume of people involved: twenty-four. Within ten-minutes, the first handful of our group began following a different trail on the opposite side of the river. Unable to communicate with the wayward, we did not know how long they would hike before realizing the remainder of the group (including the one with the map) were not behind them. After a rescue attempt was made and the large group reunited, the loaded question (that taught a lesson) was asked, "Who had the map?" Follow the one with the map. 

What if no one had a map? Is there a map in your life charting out your path? Such a plan would direct your decisions, money, time and resources. Without goals, we're hiking without a map. 

So teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom. Psalm 90:12. 

This has been the realization of my heart in the past week. As I reflect on goals that create my plans and then allowing Him to direct my steps. 

Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand. Proverbs 19:21. 

It would be foolish not to set goals for myself, but also unwise to not allow God to direct my steps.  

In all my ways (my goal setting) acknowledge Him and He will direct my path. Proverbs 3:6

God gave us minds to think, process, contemplate and He will use open or shut doors to direct our paths.

Before I committed to my goals, I reflected on the praises, accomplishments and victories from 2013, giving glory to God. Then I acknowledged the challenges in my life that I needed to commit to Him in 2014. These two written exercises led me to goals in multiple areas: Career, financial, family, physical, social, spiritual, intellectual. Goals should be specific, measurable, yours, time-sensitive and written down (daveramsey.com).

Each of my goals includes steps of implentation. I plan to revisit my goals in six months to measure my accomplishments. (Don't worry, it's in the iCal now.) Sometimes I don't reach my goals. Sometimes my goals change. Sometimes God closes a door. But goals must be written down.

If you aim at nothing, you will hit it every time. Zig Ziglar

If you have not written down any goals for the 2014 year, select one area and write one goal along with implementing proactive steps toward achieving it.

Tasting the honey

"I want honey," she whines for honey drizzled over her Cheerios. Life is sweeter when we stop to taste the honey, when we stop to see the honey of God's blessings.
Samson was a miraculous gift as the couple was barren (Judges 13:2). Though, when you discover his strong-willed, self-centered, persistent, flippant personality, you have to reason that he was an incredibly difficult child to raise. Yet he was a gift.
Come to mind God's special gift, a child we weren't necessarily planning, yet God is a good Giver and blessed us. This pink package is our most strong-willed, persistent child. Yet she is a gift. I confess I do not always receive her as a sweet gift. Perhaps because she is a gift God uses to refine me.
At news of the child, Samson's parents were eager to raise the child in the way of the Lord. Manoah asks what is the child's manner life and what is his mission (Judges 13:12). No doubt these parents followed the messenger of the Lord's instructions. Prior to conception through marriage age, they obeyed the Lord by keeping Samson pure, set apart to the Lord's service. However, at some point in Samson's parents' life, they had to trust the Lord with His plan for Samson's life. Samson, determined to get the desirable Philistine woman at Timnah, was part of God's plan to gain leverage against the Philistines who were afflicting Israel (Judges 14:4). His parents knew Samson should take an Israelite woman as a wife, not a foreigner. What is a parent to do when their children make poor choices? Trust in the Lord. Do I trust my children to the Lord? Do I let them make mistakes, believing God will protect them and His will be done? Or do I parent out of fear…that the golden heads will fall into my bents toward sin, that they will make mistakes that are too big (this is unbiblical heresy)!
Samson's parents didn't see all Samson's battles. On his way to Timnah, Samson tears a lion apart using the gifting of the Spirit: superhero-like strength. Although, he breaks one of his Nazirite vows by touching a dead body, I wonder if this is symbolic of the battles children face while their parents aren't helicoptering. Still, God gave Samson his gift of strength. Interestingly, God revealed to Samson, not his parents, what his gifting was. So God will reveal to His children their gifting. And God will refine His children, it is the parent's job to be obedient to Him as Samson's parents were in keeping the Nazirite vow while raising him.
Samson didn't want his parents to know that he had broken the Nazirite vow and that honey had come from the dead lion carcass. Yet they tasted the sweetness. Could this be a type of reward for his parents? Will God allow me to taste the sweetness of obedience to Him in raising His child. The golden heads will at times choose disobedience (as do I), but when I am obedient, will I taste the sweetness of my child's giftings? Now and years from now, God will allow me to enjoy the sweetness of watching my golden heads do the good work He has prepared of them.
Even after the disaster of his first wedding celebration, his parents were there for him to return to (Judges 14:19). This is the last mention of Samson's parents. Will I repeatedly have open arms for my children to return to unashamedly, knowing they will be accepted and loved?
God has loved me with an everlasting love.

I have loved you with an everlasting love;
therefore I have continues my faithfulness to you. Jeremiah 31:3

He never comes to end with me. I confess that I do come to the end of it with my children, but through God's gift and power, I can love them as He loves me.
In which way do you most relate to Samson's parents: receiving God's gifts, obedience, trust, tasting His sweetness or everlasting love and acceptance? First acknowledging His gifts, then we can begin to taste the honey of blessings. Praise God for His gifts, the power He gives to obey and trust His ways, His blessing and faithfulness.

Take My Life

1. Unexpected to me, the life of Samson (Judges 13-16) resounds greatly in my soul. Two totally different topics strike me. Samson's parents and Samson as a servant of God. First, Samson as God's servant.
2. As a child we read stories of Samson, impressed by his God-given gift of strength, like a Old Testament Superhero. Yet, as an adult we see Samson's life marked by lack of character and missed opportunity to bring God glory. Samson was self-indulgent, hot-headed and lacked self-control. Had Samson lived for God and others instead of himself, what an inspiration he would have been. Yet God used Samson to do His will and protect the Israel from total oppression by the Philistines for twenty-years. Samson could have totally saved Israel and ruled in righteousness had He been totally sold out to God. However, this was God's plan and His plan always prevails. When God's servants are not seeking Him for direction or obeying His ways, they aren't submitting to God's divine authority and typically, it doesn't go very well.
3. Taking stock of my life, am I really that much different than Samson? In struggling to rebuild relationship with the engineer, what God has revealed to me most recently is how selfish I am with my time. Saturday with the family, continually self-speaking, Die to self. "Yes, I'd love to help you do that."It's not about me. "Yes, I'd love to look for that with you." Direct my paths Lord. "Yes, let's play a game." Left on my own, I would have rather had done something for myself, shopped for myself, spent money on myself, made my favorite dinner. But, I've tried that and it didn't go very well. For years, after the golden heads were tucked in tight, I spent my time doing what I wanted to do. Time was seldom spent doing something with the engineer. Under the same roof, we went our own ways. It doesn't take long before I realized, I don't have any of the same interests as this man I live with and I don't even think I love him. Yet love is a choice. I need to choose to build relationship with him. I need to put myself aside and choose him. It wasn't going well. What's amazing is choosing to put self aside and spend time with the engineer immediately results in a closeness and intimacy. It's so evident. Choosing God's way and prioritizing others is the way God will bless.
4. My life these days is filled with self talk. I don't know how long this happens before it becomes first nature. Maybe it never will be. But it is the right road.

1. The path of the righteous is the like the light of the dawn, which shines brighter and brighter until full day. Proverbs 4:18

1. My life is not mine. I do believe my favorite hymn is "Take My Life," by Frances R. Havergal.
Take my life and let it be
Consecrated, Lord, to Thee.
Take my moments and my days,
Let them flow in endless praise.
2. Take my hands and let them move
   At the impulse of Thy love.
   Take my feet and let them be
   Swift and beautiful for Thee.
3. Take my voice and let me sing,
   Always, only for my King.
   Take my lips and let them be
   Filled with messages from Thee.
4. Take my silver and my gold,
   Not a mite would I withhold.
   Take my intellect and use
   Every pow’r as Thou shalt choose.
5. Take my will and make it Thine,
   It shall be no longer mine.
   Take my heart, it is Thine own,
   It shall be Thy royal throne.
6. Take my love, my Lord, I pour
   At Thy feet its treasure store.
   Take myself and I will be
   Ever, only, all for Thee.
7. 
   
8. Take some time to sing to the Lord and ask yourself these questions: Am I choosing to live for the Lord or for myself? Does my life inspire others to walk more closely with the LORD? Decide to yield yourself to His complete control and rest in His strengthening power.