Realist

They wanted to stay for the Performing Arts Contest Awards. Would the sister duo get an Award of Excellence for their song and dance? They hoped. We stayed.
During the awards, it was announced their club got Reserve Grand Champion in a skit performed earlier that night. My golden heads also performed in this skit with the other members but sat clapping as other members jumped up and down and ran on stage. The next morning at breakfast, she said to me, "Mom, I didn't understand why everyone was so excited that our club got second place. There were only two club participating; we got last place. What's the big deal?"
Realist. I'm not saying the kids didn't do a great job. I'm saying it's wise to have an eternal, real grasp on life.

Love never ends. As for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when the perfect comes, the partial will pass away. When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways. For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known. 1 Corinthians 13:8-12

Before the competition of the fair began, we had a talk about what mattered most during fair week. Building our lives on the eternal Jesus and showing Jesus to those around us through our attitudes and actions: that's what matters. Not champion ribbons, not she got one more malt than me, not the hot sticky weather or the torential downpour. The reality is that this life is just a dim reflection of the eternal life with Jesus to come, when we see Jesus face to face. And right now, totally matters if we show and invite others to an eternal life with Jesus.
I'm not going to lie. It was thrilling to watch the compassionate one walk across the stage to receive her Champion Banner and shirt. But even if she walked away without these, what matters is how she conducted herself not just when she got Champion, but when she got a red ribbon.
Was she be mindful of eternal consequences of her choices? If she spent all her time and money on one project, there would be any resources left to give to serving others or financially supporting the children in Africa that she loves? If she was rude to other competitors and cheated for the win, would she be showing others that Jesus is patient, kind, humble, generous, forbearing, believes the best about others and loves what's righteous?
Truly, what matters in competition (whether the Olympics of the County Fair) is having an eternal perspective. Is what I'm doing now inviting others of an eternal life with Jesus? The Olympics will end. The County Fair ended. Eternity with Jesus has no end. Today is a precursor. I will give up the worry and anxiety of today and seek to be known by Jesus and introduce those around me to Jesus. I will be a realist in a world that sometimes wants to forget reality.
Are you choosing to believe what's real and what matters? Are you living with an eternal perspective and inviting others to be known by Jesus?

True

It was a really great conversation with the compassionate one, never mind I don't even recall the subject. Music plays softly in the background, the rest of the family dozing off while we barrel down the dark highway, somewhere between 55-60 miles an hour and we're just chatting about life. Then in an instant, Bambi jumps up out of the ditch and smacks the front middle of the truck. There was but a half-second to brake.
Thankfully, the damage wasn't severe enough to render the truck undrivable. After removing the dangling plastic parts from the front bumper, the engineer and I returned to the truck and resume the drive home.
While the engineer and everyone else quickly dozed off to slumberland, the silence filled me full of doubt and self-judgment. He probably thinks I'm to blame. I am to blame. I should pay more attention. He's mad at me. He's not talking to me. This is going to be a horrible week. We'll be mad at each other all week... And like I naturally do, I stew. Like my savory garlic rosemary beef stew, anger and resentment stew and grow rich within me.

The eye is the lamp of the body. So if your eye is healthy, your whole body will be full of light, but if your eye is bad your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light in you is darkness, how great is the darkness! Matthew 6:22-23

Jesus taught these words to the crowds that followed Him. The word eye in this passage means the eye of the mind; the part of the brain that knows something is true and allows you to see or understand more clearly. Now consider the opposite of clearly knowing the truth, it would be believing lies and preventing understanding, leading to withdraw, being concealed and not understanding.
So what I believe and understand either makes me full of light or darkness. If I believe what is true, I am full of light, I'm having a good week. If I believe what if false (a lie), I am full of darkness and I'm having a bad week.
My thought patterns determine the quality of my day. They are the very beginning of my entire outlook and actions. Praise God that something (the Holy Spirit) within me, caused me to stop and perceive truth while driving home that night. The truth is, my poor husband is woke up from sleeping in the car by a big thud. We tend to not think or respond normally when we're woken up from sleep. He did what needed to be done and he went back to sleep. He's tired and there was nothing else to do.
So while everyone else continued their slumber in the truck, I turned off the stew! He's not mad at me. He doesn't judge me or think I'm a bad driver. These things simply happen. And  another truth is praise God that we were in the truck, not the minivan or we likely would be sitting on the side of the road, waiting for a tow truck!
An hour later, nearly home, the engineer wakes up from his car nap. "Why do deer have to be so stupid? These things just happen so fast and there's nothing you can do about it." Clearly, he didn't blame me or think less of me.
I smile, praising God in my heart! He caused me to believe truth, direct my thought patterns and fill me with light.
What lie are you believing today that is filling your entire outlook with darkness, or causing a horrible day (week, year...)? Will you choose to turn off the stew? Ask the Holy Spirit to show you truth in the matter at hand.

Watching and stilling

It's 4:51 in the morning and it begins. Decide the final plans for the coming weekend. Turn the sprinklers on in the garden. She asked me to make scones (presumedly for my birthday breakfast). I should finish the laundry before the golden heads wake. Practice this morning at 10am. Oh no, she still needs a slip to wear with her skirt tomorrow. And with my mind whirling, I figure, might as well wake up and get going.

My typical notion is that if I wake early enough (long before anyone else) I can escape any demands and expectations from others and sip my morning coffee and be with Him, my Maker. But this morning, I thought I'd get a few things done first: scones, laundry, email, watering... An hour later, I finally set the coffee to drip and something out of ordinary catches my eye while stopping my heart. What was that? Perched on the deck railing was an adult red-tailed hawk. I froze, taking in the wonder. Two, no three, things immediately came to my mind.

1. Man, that thing is huge.
2. Roz on Monsters Inc, "I'm watching you, always watching you."
3. Should I sneak away and grab my camera?

Enough is enough with the things to do! Spend time with Jesus, my Maker. Yes, He's watching me scuttle about, but delights in my quiet moments, my quiet heart before Him.

God is our refuge and strength,
a very present help in trouble.
Therefore we will not fear though the earth gives way,
though the mountains be moved into the heart of the sea,
though its waters roar and foam,
though the mountains tremble at its swelling. 

There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God,
the holy habitation of the Most High.
God is in the midst of her; she shall not be moved;
God will help her when morning dawns.
The nations rage, the kingdoms totter;
He utters his voice, the earth melts.
The Lord of hosts is with us;
the God of Jacob is our fortress. 

Come, behold the works of the Lord,
how He has brought desolations on the earth.
He makes wars cease to the end of the earth;
He breaks the bow and shatters the spear;
He burns the chariots with fire.
“Be still, and know that I am God.
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth!”
The Lord of hosts is with us;
the God of Jacob is our fortress. Psalm 46

Nothing happens in my day that takes Him by surprise. Nothing that He can't control or destroy in an instant. Only when I let Him live and thrive within me can I be full of joy and completely solid and strong. I just need these few quiet minutes with Him, to be still. To stop and be sure He is on the throne of my heart. Then trust and fully believe that He is in control of every aspect of this day, month, year and His plans for me are for my good.

And who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his span of life? ... Therefore, do not be anxious saying, "What shall we eat?" or "What shall we wear?" for the Gentiles seek after these things and your Heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first, the kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things will be added to you. Matthew 6:27, 31-33

Are you intentionally setting aside your worries and choosing to stop, rest in Jesus and express your trust in His righteous plan for your life? He's watching you. He's got you. No matter the worry or list of things to do this day, express your trust in His perfect power and protection.

Together

Why is it when I'm sitting criss-cross applesauce on the ground God speaks to my heart most? It was early. It was summer. It was camping pack-up mode. I sat with my cup of coffee and felt like the patio potted flowers were beckoning me from my comfortable over-sized chair. We had moved the potted plants to the shaded corner of the deck and gave them a drink the night prior so they might fare well enough in our absence for a couple days. Something about that heap of green with splashes of blooming color shouted out at me. What beautiful similarity yet difference. One would never arrange them together so closely as we had, still doing so was a messy, yet beautiful sight full life and promise.
I feel like a mother hen with my plants. I tell the golden heads, "These are my babies," and it gave me a surge of delight to see them clumped together in the early morning light. That's when I heard Him speak to my heart. This is what it's like for a mother and father; they love to see her children together.
Any parent understands. I love to see my golden heads together (and getting along.) My heart delights and explodes into songs of gratitude when I see them swimming together in the pool, tossing a frisbee on the beach, playing store, blending f'real shakes together... In those moments of peace and unity among those I love and treasure most, a parent understands the young mother Mary in Luke 2:19, "But Mary treasured up all these things, pondering them in her heart."
For years, I've heard my own parents say things like, "We just want our family together, that's a gift to us." Even when the children are grown with children of their own, a parent loves to see their children come together.
Why would Jesus' heart be any different? After all, we are made in His image. Jesus must love to see His children come together. Read Jesus' desire in His prayer to His father before His crucifixion.

I do not ask for these only, but also for those who will believe in me through their word, that they may all be one, just as you, Father are in me , and I in you, that they also may be in us, so that the world may believe that you have sent me. The glory that you have given me I have given to them, that they may be one even as we are one, I in them and you in me, that they may become perfectly one, so that the world may know that you sent me and loved them even as you loved me. John 17:20-23

He wants His kids one with Him and when they are in-line with Jesus personally, they will be in-line with each other. He prayed it; He must love to see it. And this would be possible so that the unbelieving world would know Jesus. When the church members love each other, accept each other, spend life together and serve each other, they show the world a little picture of the unbreakable covenant love Jesus has for each of His children individually. Jesus wouldn't give up on anyone who turns to Him and so the church members must not give up on anyone who would follow Him.
I have to admit, I have been quite resistant to the church lately. They rub me the wrong way. I don't deeply connect with many...excuses, excuses. I'm wrong. Jesus loves to see His kids together!
This mother hen reminder from God has challenged me personally to fight for community in the church, to "not neglect meeting together," (Hebrews 10:25). Will you spend time contemplating your attitude toward those in the church and consider that Jesus loves to see His kids together?

Wait

As I laid on the bed throwing a 36-year old temper tantrum, I cried out to God, "I don't want to do this! Make it stop! Take this away!" I didn't like my situation at all and I wanted it changed, NOW! I wanted to grab the engineer's attention, explain my woes, he would take my side and make everything right. Fortunately, as I look back, I couldn't get his attention at the moment and I was left to sit in my sensory discomfort. Somehow, I got through my own selfish desires of that afternoon and it wasn't until later that I realized God's answer to my prayer in His perfect timing.

For God alone my soul waits in silence;
from him comes my salvation.
He alone is my rock and my salvation,
my fortress; I shall not be greatly shaken. Psalm 62:1-2

Okay, so I wasn't waiting in silence. I was made to wait...at least for a couple hours. It wasn't until later that day, when I had calmed down and God gave me glorious gifts in the moments with my family that I realized, He did rescue. He calmed my nerves, gave me peace and compassion toward those I was deeply furious. Only God could do that. He's my only hope of rescue.

For God alone, O my soul, wait in silence,
for my hope is from him.
He only is my rock and my salvation,
my fortress; I shall not be shaken.
On God rests my salvation and my glory;
my mighty rock, my refuge is God.
Trust in him at all times, O people;
pour out your heart before him;
God is a refuge for us. Psalm 62:5-8

On our day with the boisterous one at Valleyfair, we decided to ride Thunder Canyon where the signs caution, "You might WILL get wet!" No lie; we were drenched. And she was furiously uncomfortable in her short denim shorts and squeaky wet socks and sneakers. She just wanted it fixed, to be dry, NOW! Oh, how I could relate to that sweet little seven-year-old temper tantrum. 

You know what? God did comfort me with my sensory issues and He did dry the boisterous one's shorts (and provide a pair of flip flops.) He always rescues, but sometimes He says wait first.

And I wonder what He means for us to learn in the waiting. 

Once God has spoken;
twice have I heard this:
that power belongs to God,
and that to you, O Lord, belongs steadfast love.
For you will render to a man
according to his work. Psalm 62:11-12

God wants us to trust in His power and love toward us. Not others (the engineer or parents.) Not money. Not earthly judges. Not government. Not ourselves. He is true power and His love for us is unstoppable! And He's wondering if we really believe it and will choose to wait in trust for His rescue.

Sometimes it's so uncomfortable to sit in your squeaky wet clothes! You do want to scream. (By all means, go for it.) But will you choose to take a deep breath and say to God, "I trust you enough to wait for your rescue in this situation."

Needs

She sat across from me and said, "I have no needs, I used to have lots of needs. Now, I have no needs."

O God, you are my God; earnestly I seek you;
my soul thirsts for you;
my flesh faints for you,
as in a dry and weary land where there is no water.
So I have looked upon you in the sanctuary,
beholding your power and glory.
Because your steadfast love is better than life,
my lips will praise you.
So I will bless you as long as I live;
in your name I will lift up my hands. Psalm 63:1-4

We were made with a need for God, to thirst and long for Him. And we can find Him and be satisfied with Him because He is dependably powerful and He has an unwavering, unstoppable, irrevocable, accepting love toward us. That's want we want: real power and true love. He meets our need.

As we watch the news filled with shootings, stormy weather and political agendas, it's so clear that as a national society, we want power to be just and ultimate security (assuring love.) In our personal lives as well, we want the wrongs made right and we want to feel like we're enough just as we are. We have needs! But the psalmist shows us that not only are we created with needs, we can be satisfied!

My soul will be satisfied as with fat and rich food,
and my mouth will praise you with joyful lips... Psalm 63:5

With You, God, we can be satisfied! When can we be satisfied?

when I remember you upon my bed,
and meditate on you in the watches of the night; Psalm 63:6

This is the hinge verse. Not only is it the literal middle of the psalm, it is what can change our lives: when we choose to recall His faithfulness and channel our thoughts on Jesus. In the painful times: "upon my bed." In the good times when we're wondering when things will go wrong: "in the watches of the night." When we choose this thought pattern, NO MATTER our circumstance, we can sing for joy because we're perfectly protected by our powerful and loving God.

for you have been my help,
and in the shadow of your wings I will sing for joy.
My soul clings to you;
your right hand upholds me. Psalm 63:7-8

What does that look like? I can't tell you how many times I start conversations with God throughout my day: while coloring with the boisterous one, when thinking about the engineer, when I'm ready to moan in the midst of a parenting moment, when making decisions, in a beautiful moment of unity and delight between the golden heads, when my back hurts so badly I can't sleep, when I'm ready to scream because I'm not getting my way. Did you notice these instances include times of need "upon my bed" and "in the watches of the night"? Unfortunately, sometimes I forget to speak to Him. However, He is always available, if we would just approach Him and allow Him to meet our needs. Our need for powerful justice is met by a perfect Judge.

But those who seek to destroy my life
shall go down into the depths of the earth;
they shall be given over to the power of the sword;
they shall be a portion for jackals.
But the king shall rejoice in God;
all who swear by him shall exult,
for the mouths of liars will be stopped. Psalm 63:9-11

If only we would remember that help is possible WHEN we focus on Jesus. All our needs are met beyond expectation: satisfied! It doesn't matter if our future looks awesome or bleak. 

When my grandpa died, I heard of a painful trial in his own life: one of those moments "upon his bed." Apparently, with tight financial times on the farm, Grandpa had began driving truck in addition to farming. One evening, checking in with grandma on the phone, she had to relay to him that there had been a storm and hail had destroyed the crops: their expected farming income gone. I can't imagine what that would feel like to the family provider: sick, gut-wrenching, panic, fear... Likely after some tears and emotions, Grandpa kept driving and turned on the radio to a gospel station and heard truth from the Gaithers. 

The God of the mountain, is still God in the valley.
When things go wrong, He'll make them right.
'Cause the God of the good times, is still God in the bad times.
The God of the day, is still God of the night.

Are you experiencing a day on the mountain or a month in the valley? Are you "upon your bed" in agony and loss or in the watches of the night when things seem alright? No matter your circumstance, where are your thoughts? Are they fixed on Jesus? If they're not, will you choose to look to Him, think of Him, talk to Him and allow Him to satisfy you? Only He can satisfy your needs.

Now

I was ugly. I was impatient. I was irritable. I was frustrated. At the root of it all, I wasn't trusting God. We had looked forward to this day at Valleyfair with the boisterous one since Christmas and the pain shot and pierced from my back to my middle. How would this day look when I couldn't enjoy any attractions and one-on-one moments with my dear child? How long would the day feel if all I did was wait on the bench while she and the engineer went on ride after ride without me? There was so much uncertainty. What if I went on a ride despite my ailment and was left completely debilitated for days?
As I slowly hinged at the waist to tie my shoes, I thought about how I wasn't trusting God's plan for my today, even though I've applauded many obedient believers who have trusted God. I wanted so badly to trust and I know that God is trustworthy, but I couldn't cross that line.
I envisioned gratitude saving my day if I was forced to sit and wait through each ride by myself. I would consciously choose to thank God for every gift: sunshine, leaves, blue hair, smiles, missing teeth, the smell of wet clothes...
On the other side of our day at Valleyfair, I see God's faithfulness and provision. I was able to ride and my back feels none the worse (maybe better). As I confess my bitterness and lack of trust, I realize that truly what matters is trusting God's plan for my now. This ailment has made me realize that

• sometimes God calls my now to be serving others
• sometimes God calls my now to be resting in Him
• sometimes God calls my now to be trusting in His provision.

God told the rebellious Israelites through Isaiah, "In returning and rest you shall be saved; in quietness and in trust shall be your strength," (Isaiah 30:15.) The Israelites were unwilling to return, rest, be still and trust in God's plan for their now (especially when their nation's future seemed so uncertain) and so God let them go to their own demise.
I'm so used to doing. I have a heritage of doing. When you're Dutch, you serve; it's what you do. But this ailment has often denied me the opportunity to do anything (literally). And God, in His generosity toward me, showed me how He loves me through the engineer. My programmed brain believes that if I can serve my husband and if I can do more for him, he'll love me more. Yet, in his constant concern with how I'm feeling, his offered hand of assistance, his consistent meeting my needs and then embracing me when I least expect it and saying, "I love you," when I couldn't do anything, I see that my worthiness of love has nothing to do with what I accomplish. That's how God loves me. I don't have to do anything and He loves me and delights in me even when I can't do anything (Zephaniah 3:17).
I trust He will call me to work for Him again. God's given me a passion and love for serving others, but that may not be His plan for my now.

"O Lord, in the morning you hear my voice; in the morning I prepare a sacrifice for you and watch." Psalm 5:3

I never know how I'm going to feel each morning: could be great, could be awful. But every morning, I can come to Jesus and say, Here I am. Here's my now. I trust in Your plan for my now. And then I watch Him show up.
How is God calling you to trust His plan for your now? Will you choose to rest in the truth that your worthiness of love has nothing to do with what you can accomplish? He simply loves you for being you!