Don't keep

In my teens, I babysat for a mom who had a poem that hung on the wall collecting dust. To this day, the last lines stick in my head:

The cleaning and scrubbing can wait till tomorrow
But children grow up as I’ve learned to my sorrow.
So quiet down cobwebs; Dust go to sleep!
I’m rocking my baby and babies don’t keep.
by Ruth Hulburt Hamilton

Visiting a friend and meeting her new baby, I dusted off the cobwebs of this poem from my memory. I thought I understood this idea by the time I had my last golden head at 29, but at 37, I realize that I really didn't. "Babies don't keep," so rock longer, gaze longer, these moments are so short so don't fret the other details of life.

Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord,
the fruit of the womb a reward. Psalm 127:3

Then I realized the truth: any day in the life of a child-parent relationship is fleeting. I need to cherish them all. Oh that I would be reminded of the gifts my good God gives me: conversations about emotions, chatty-katy tweens, dance classes with the compassionate one, ice-cream bowls before bed... These moments won't last much longer.

Who am I Lord God that you have given me such gifts and promises of a hope and a future? For my sake and according to Your own goodness and grace, You have done all these great things. There is no god like You, O Lord. You have adopted me as Your own child and made Your name great by working in my life and family. I Chronicles 17:16, 19-21, my paraphrase

If you have biological or spiritual children in your life, when was the last time you stopped to praise God for little moments with them? These may seem inconsequential at the time, but they are a reward from God. As they unfold today, choose to thank God for these memories, even the moments of correction.

"Christ"mas

It keeps reverberating in my head, Pastor Bruce’s question in his first Advent sermon this year, “How do you keep materialism out of Christmas?”

We went Black Friday shopping as an extended family outing. It did not bode well for my first-grader. She kept wanting everything and we kept saying, “Well, Christmas isn’t far away. We’ll add it to your list. You can’t have that (or that, or that or that) today.” Toward the end of the outing, she was moping alongside her shopping grandma when she said, “I just see all this stuff and I want it all. I know I shouldn’t feel that way.” Christmas in America creates a mentality of materialism.

Along with materialism, how do we not get caught up in the chaotic preparations for celebrating? As Christ-followers, how do we remember to dwell with Jesus, the “Christ” in Christmas?

Visiting with a friend after church last Sunday, she shared her experience of being miserably sick with the flu last Christmas. She expressed that all the things she had to do went undone and Christmas still happened. And she still experienced joy.

For thus said the Lord God, the Holy One of Israel, ‘In returning and rest you shall be saved; in quietness and in trust shall be your strength.’  Isaiah 30:15

In this verse, we see how we might save Christmas from materialism and chaos. By sitting, with coffee cup and Bible in hand, resting in Jesus. In stopping daily to confess my mess-ups to Jesus. Driving in silence; talking and listening to God instead of the radio. In making a to-do-list but verbally telling God that I trust He will allow me to accomplish exactly what He desires for this day. By prioritizing Jesus, not things, stuff, events or my infamous “to do list.” (Someone please tell me I’m not alone with my lists…) By choosing to stop your family once a day and read an Advent devotional (or any Scripture). Through our example, those in our sphere of influence (family, friends and neighbors) will see the Christ in Christmas, not the materialism or busyness.

Are you prioritizing Christ in Christmas? How will you choose to return and rest this December?

Messy

As I hurried to clean up the kitchen for the evening (dishes put away, dirty towels in the laundry, stainless steel sinks shining), the engineer dumps them in the sink. A pile of garden carrots, their dirt soiling the sink. Gardening is messy but rewarding, fulfilling and leaving a legacy in its own little way.

The rod and reproof give wisdom,
but a child left to himself brings shame to his mother.
When the wicked increase, transgression increases,
but the righteous will look upon their downfall.
Discipline your daughter, and she will give you rest;
she will give delight to your heart. Proverbs 29:15-17

This morning, I'm looking on my downfall. I've done too much complaining. I have the privilege of being the one to raise my girls practically 24-hours a day, teaching them, being with them and I complain. They annoy me, they aren't perfect and they have personalities that aren't just like mine (or are too much like mine) and I complain. I have a husband who values my role in training, who asks me when he comes home from work, "How'd it go today?" Yet I complain. I must choose gratitude and change.
The words rod, reproof and discipline  mean directing, guiding, correcting and letting natural consequences incur. They all imply that much time is spent with your child. When I see this word, I immediately see disciple. Jesus spent time with His disciples, teaching, training, working and living life. My call is to do life with my golden heads. This takes time and sacrifice.
So much would get lost in this generation of golden heads if I chose to follow the societal norm and secure my career. Instead, I choose to teach: how to keep a home, cooking, family meal planning, gardening, handiwork, and even graphic design. Will I ever look back on my life and think, I wish I would have had a career? Though there are times that the income from a second household income would be nice, I think, for what? To pay more taxes, more dining out, a larger grocery bill (because you buy more convince food), less margin in our lives, to pay day care, to miss special moments, to drive more miles? I'm convinced as I watch the coming generation, they want mom more than they want stuff or opportunities. And no matter your degree or trade, I'm convinced it can be used in many other venues: home, family, church or volunteer organizations.
I'm not saying be careless, leave work to disciple your children and leave your family in the financial red. Rather, realize what your priorities are. Your money and your calendar will quickly tell you your priorities. Then choose to be radical: change your spending and time in order to make discipling your children a priority. No doubt, it's messy, like the pile of dirt in the kitchen sink. Physically, financially, emotionally, spiritually messy!

Where there are no oxen, the manger is clean,
but abundant crops come by the strength of the ox. Proverbs 14:4

When my golden heads are gone from home, the house is clean and the introverted mother has silence and solitude. I have to admit, I love that, but with the mess the four of us leave behind as we're doing life together day to day, comes a great harvest of personal growth, responsibility, honesty, hard work, integrity, life skills and memories. I may not leave my golden heads with a pile of cash, designer clothes and expensive camps but I choose to do my part to leave them abundant crops.

Humbling. Different. Good. Enough.

After the dishwasher was loaded, the gifts put away and crumbs swept up, I felt overwhelmed. Not so much in an exhausted sense, but in a super-crazy blown-away blessed overwhelmedness. Fifteen guests, 1400 miles on their cars, gifts, late night driving and nine excited kids came together to celebrate cousin birthdays. It's different to be the recipient of the gift.
I wonder if that's how Jesus' disciples felt. They followed Jesus to desolate places and the crowds came as well. When Jesus saw the physical need for food, He provided that need and used the hands and feet of the disciples. Just imagine the disciples serving, as part of Jesus' miracle, distributing the seven loaves of bread and two fish that fed over 4000 people (with left-overs besides). You feel blessed to be part of God's work, to love and give to others what God's provided. Hours later, the disciples find themselves on the boat and have little food to spare amongst themselves. Jesus wasn't surprised. Again, He knew the need and He would supply more than enough for their physical needs.

"Having eyes do you not see, and having ears do you not hear? And do you not remember? When I broke the five loaves for the five thousand, how many baskets full of broken pieces did you take up?” They said to him, “Twelve.” “And the seven for the four thousand, how many baskets full of broken pieces did you take up?” And they said to him, “Seven.” And he said to them, “Do you not yet understand?” Mark 8:18-21

Jesus was able to supply all their needs; they wouldn't be left hungry. But wouldn't it feel different to be the recipient? To be served instead of serving? Passing bread and fish to the 4000, they were part of God's miracle; at this point, they'd just be like the crowd sitting on the hillside receiving His provision. Humbling. Different. Good. Enough.
It's natural, "no big deal" to me to give, love and serve others. Sometimes it stretches me past my comfort zone, but it's something I'm compelled to do and something God provides for me to share or give. But to receive and just have to sit with open hands, that's different, humbling, good, enough. This God's provision too.
I can't believe the effort given on my behalf, because they love me and God provided these family members with time and resources to give to me. What can I do but sit with open hands and accept the gift of God?
Right now, place your hands together, with the palms up and keep them open. Sit in the presence of your Savior acknowledging and accepting the gifts He's giving you right now.

Chicken and broccoli

CLANK, CLINK, CLANK-CLANK. Looking up to the noise overhead, I spy the aphid heaving its little shell body into the light fixtures above. Pausing a moment, I realize, that's what I've been like the last 10 weeks. Clanking, banging around like (as my mother used to say) a chicken with my head cut off.

"Love more and more, and aspire to live quietly, and to mind your own affairs, and to work with your hands, as we instructed you, so that you may walk properly before outsiders and be dependent on no one." 1 Thessalonians 5:10b-12

And while we haven't ceased to have food to eat and the house isn't in shambles, it's likely a pace that's not beneficial to all in my family and thinking about Paul's decision in 1 Corinthians 8:13, the lady bug gives me a new understanding or application.

"Therefore, if my busyness causes my family's relationship with Jesus to falter, I will never run around crazy, if it makes my family fall away from Jesus." (my application of 1 Corinthians 8:13)

Reading on in Corinthians,

"For though I am free from all, I have made myself a servant to all, that I might win more of them." 1 Corinthians 9:19 

"So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God…not seeking my own advantage, but that of many, that they may be saved." 1 Corinthians 10:31,33b

I feel called to lay aside some of my own preferences so that I might serve for God's glory. Loving a plan of action, I make my list of tangible ways to love and serve those within the walls of my home. This is the creative part that comes easily for me…but the day to day rubber meets the road application is definitely tougher! However, if I don't apply God's Word to my life, it would have been better to not even had read God's Word or listened to His conviction.

"But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves. For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man who looks intently at his natural face in a mirror. For he looks at himself and goes away and at once forgets what he was like. But the one who looks into the perfect law, the law of liberty, and perseveres, being no hearer who forgets but a doer who acts, he will be blessed in his doing." James 1:22-25

Not applying God's Word and personal convictions in my life is like looking in the mirror, seeing I have a chunk of broccoli stuck in my teeth and walking away without doing anything about it. And who wants to be that person? No, I will remove the broccoli; I will take the steps to love and serve my family.
When God convicts your heart about something, do you respond? Will you take the principle and put it into action? Or will you walk around with broccoli stuck in your teeth?

Love notes

"Mom, will you write me another love note?" the boisterous one asks. Penned words of love, endearment and appreciation from those dearest to us are treasures. Just this last week, tucked away in my near 20-year-old, binding falling apart NIV Study Bible, I found a Valentine card from the engineer. We were 17 and 18 years-young, infatuated and in "love."

Happy Valentine's Day Becky!!!! For the most wonderful girl in the world!!! Becky, I love you so much!!!! You are my best friend and I just want to thank you for always being there for me. You are very special to me!!

Honestly, it kinda cut me. At odds a majority of the time, I hardly consider him my best friend. But to think back on those days…those Fridays when I couldn't wait to spend the night with him. It didn't matter what we did; I just wanted to be with him. And now, I spend every night in the same bed with him, nearly every dinner and weekend with him. There's little novelty left.
This is how I used to feel about God's Word. Oh, I've read this before. But since God's really gotten my attention, since I've decided to follow him whole-heartedly, every day there is newness in God's Word. And every situation I encounter reveals more of His Word and His truths to me. Each morning I ask Him, God what is it you want to teach or tell me? When I am experiencing life (whether it is dirty socks all over the house, dew drops clinging to the bare tree branches or the rain clouds rolling back to reveal a gorgeous sunrise), He reveals to me an applicable spiritual truth.
I am so convicted. How pathetic that I don't look at my marriage with new eyes. Ahg! I feel defeated and clueless as to how to change. And then, in God's foreknowledge, the old Valentine Card saved in my Bible is tucked in James, chapter 1.

Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whether you face trails of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does (vv. 1-7).

I am tempted to throw my hands up and say, Whatever, I give up! I lack wisdom in knowing how to look at my marriage with continual newness. It's seems simple: ask + no doubt that His way is the best way = His answer.
James ends this passage explaining a "double-minded" man. The New Living Translation says, "their loyalty is divided between God and the world." I can't look right and left at the same time and I can't look at the world's (or my) "wisdom" and God's wisdom at the same time. If I ask God for a solution while having my own idea of what will work, it will be my idea implemented, not His and it will fail. I have to be all in: I must believe His solution will be successful and fix my attention on His way.
And like the dew drops clinging to the tree branches in the morning sunshine, I will cling to Jesus while He reveals the how. How much energy that little drop uses to cling to the branch? If it looks the opposite way (down) it's going to fall. If I fail to give God my full attention, I will fall to the world.
Like the clouds that rolled back for the gorgeous sunrise, this season of dullness will disappear too. And as for those dirty socks? Well, those golden heads won't be here forever: love the now. Love the engineer now.
What do you need to look at with new eyes? Maybe your marriage is great and you want newness is reading God's Word. How will you do it? Work? Kids? Will you choose to ask the Lord for wisdom in the how? I humbly ask for prayers of those reading this: that I would see my husband through new eyes, fix my attention on God's idea and love the now. 

Nets

"Follow me, and I will make you become fishers of men." And immediately they left their nets and followed him. Mark 1:17

 The ESV adds become in its translation, indicating an future process of change or growing. The disciples weren't yet fishers of men, but would be transformed into what Jesus' will was for them and Jesus would do the work (I will make). Jesus did the fashioning, molding or transforming in his disciples in New Testament times and is molding you and me now if we follow him. Our action of following comes first.

And immediately Jesus left the synagogue and entered the house of Simon and Andrew, with James and John. Now Simon's mother-in-law lay ill with a fever, and immediately they told him about her. And he came and took her by the hand and lifted her up, and the fever left her, and she began to serve them. Mark 10:29-31

Simon had a mother-in-law, so we infer that he was married. Simon left more that just his nets, to follow Jesus; he left his family for a time (or maybe his family followed Jesus and his disciples.) This rocked me. If Jesus calls the engineer to do a completely time-consuming ministry in which Jesus would work through him and the engineer had to leave our family for days and weeks to become what Jesus intends, I would have a really hard time accepting God's will. I have always held tightly to keeping family before or above ministry on the priority list. This revelation of family in Scripture reminds me to hold loosely. However, I am comforted: Jesus showed up at Simon's house and healed Simon's mother-in-law. Jesus cares about families and will take care of them, providing for all their needs. I'm sure he'd do this even if Jesus hadn't physically walked into the home. He is an omnipresent God. I wonder what the perspective would be from Simon's wife. How many stories would she have of how God provided, cared and healed their family while she was "holding down the fort" during Simon's following?
A day after my pondering, the blue Jays moved in. In my office, I look out a window overlooking the boisterous one's rainbow flower garden. At first I noticed just one blue jay, then realized it was a whole flock. I had never noticed a blue jay in my yard prior to this, so it really grabbed my attention. I wondered why they had moved in and then I recalled the sunflowers she had planted. Food: the blue jays were after the sunflower seeds. Remember that movie, Field of Dreams and that famous voice in the corn field: "If you build it, they will come," ? Suddenly in my head is the phrase, "If you feed them, they will come."
Mark chapter one: fishers of men. If you feed them (literally as Jesus did feed the 5000+ and then 4000+ and figuratively feeding spiritually), they will come. Read through any gospel account, people flocked to him! When they follow, God's Word and Holy Spirit will do the work to transform them.
In the middle of preparing my teaching on 1 Corinthians 3, I see the parallel. Our class membership attendance has fallen from last year. But if follow (and leave my nets) he will make me become fisher of men. And if I feed them, they will come.
Since my calling, I've had the hardest time leaving my nets: my family. Just a day prior, the boisterous one ran off the school bus and asked, "You're coming to my fall walk, aren't you?" In fact, I had not volunteered for this field trip. Intentionally, this was an act of leaving my net. And even now as I work on my teaching, watching the blue jays, her look of devastation rips my heart in two. I know I'm called to teach right now but I'm feeling guilting about "leaving" my family. Knowing I'm following Him, I press on in my study and preparation.
A while later, I indulge in the last piece of Dove dark chocolate from Valentine's Day. (It is fall but, chocolate keeps, right?) I don't believe in horoscopes but I do believe God speaks to us in sometimes bizarre ways. Inside the chocolate foil is a message: "You are exactly where you are suppose to be." Not on a field trip, but parked in God's Word preparing for teaching. So I resolve to do the work God has called me to for this season and allow him to provide and care for my family as I follow.

"For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them." Ephesians 4:10

You have a mission you are called to for Christ. What is your "net" right now? Practice flexing your trust muscles and leave your "net" to walk following Him.

Too much

Making a "chore" fun, I asked the compassionate one to resurrect all the fall decorations and tuck away the summer ones. The next day, as I settle in for some drip time, my attention falls upon the mantle: a mix of summer and fall and entirely too much. I chuckle and then I realize. I realize that sometime our schedules are just too much.

Sometimes we need to say, "no," but to what? I make a quick list of my commitments. Which of these need a no? They're all good. Which ones on the list won't last? Which ones can I come back to later? 

It's so difficult to put away good, valuable and worthwhile tasks and commitments. As I look at my favorite spring tulips (silk flowers, embarassingly a favorite) and recall that if I put them away for a season or two, when I find them again in March, they look more lovely.
What if I took something off my schedule for just a season? Would it appear more precious when it returned? 

For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven:
a time to be born, and a time to die;
a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;
a time to kill, and a time to heal;
a time to break down, and a time to build up;
a time to weep, and a time to laugh;
a time to mourn, and a time to laugh;
a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together;
a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
a time to seek, and a time to lose;
a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
a time to tear, and a time to sew;
a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
a time to love and a time to hate;
a time for war, and a time for peace.
I perceived that there is nothing better for them than to be joyful and to do good as long as they live; also that everyone should eat and drink and take pleasure in all his toil--this is God's gift to man. Ecclesiastes 3:1-8, 12-13

When our Bible study parts for the summer, it's okay. It's time for a change of pace. But in fall, glancing through the list of names attending and the feel of a new workbook in hand, I can't wait to get started again; God's gift to me. The off-season makes the resuming sweeter.

When the calculating one says, "Mom, I want to read to you," and I begrudgingly snuggle in beside her, I do the task out of discipline, and then my heart is filled with joy. This is God's gift to momma. This is a season that won't last! And so I know that time with my golden heads will not be struck from the list, but that which can wait will. It is a constant prioritization.

And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him. Colossians 3:17

What do you need to give up, even if just for a season? Make a list of your commitments then talk with God. Consider these questions. Which of these won't last? Which of these brings me joy; is God's gift to me? Which of these need striking?

About perfect

As my baby ventures off to school, I can't quite shake this thought; when she holds my hand, her little paw in mine, it feels about perfect. There are few things more wonderful than that feeling. By design, it fits just right. And yet, I know this fit is fleeting. Her hand will grow. I must train her in the way she should go. I need to become less and He more in her life. She needs to leave me and cleave to Christ. Yet, I never want to forget what it feels like to have her little hand in mine. Does Christ feel the same of me? Whether I am curled up, laid out or basking in the reality of His presence, is He thinking, I just can't get enough of this? I'm not sure. I'm reminded of Mary, Jesus' mother.

And all who head it wondered at that the shepherds told them. But Mary treasured up all these things, pondering them in her heart. Luke 2:17-18

Here come the shepherd with a message from the angels about this child who is the Messiah, Savior of the world. Everyone is wondering, Is this for real, but Mary treasured. I can't help but notice the contrast. I could wonder what the future holds for this boisterous one, wonder God's feeling for me or I could treasure the moment.
Watching the sunrise, the leaves fully intact to their branches, there's a frame. A little window through the leaves that reaches straight through to the sunlight. Not the whole panoramic view, just a small snippet.

For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known. 1 Corinthians 13:12

I know when I see Him face to face, I will see the whole panoramic view. Maybe her little hand in mine is just a glimpse. A glimpse of what glory will be like. What it will feel like for my hand to literally be nestled inside His. But I will treasure.

Ministry

I keep seeing the wedding picture God's painted in my mind. He the bridegroom, the engineer and golden heads the precious bride, and me as Christ's equally treasured best man. Christ completes my joy and He has strategically placed me beside Him in this marriage. Christ must become greater, and I must become less, (John 3:30).
Christ must become greater because He is perfect and I am not. For God's Spirit is constantly in Christ. Yet, because I have chosen to believe in Christ, I was given a seal of truth (John 3:33).
In this instance, seal means to set a mark upon a thing as a token of its authenticity or approvedness that God is true; He is who He says He is and will do what He says He will do. It reminds me of the Dairy REAL seal marked on packages (authentic milk) versus the package of cheese puffs claiming, "made with with real cheese." It's easy to spot a phony and even the calculating one reading this raised her eyebrows in questioning unbelief, really?
When placing my belief in Christ, I got the real seal (or the True seal). And my charge is filter everything through that true seal as well as to echo all I know to be true. Another way of understanding is that when we choose to believe, we are sealed with the Holy Spirit (Ephesians 1:13).The Holy Spirit directs me and teaches me what is true. Just as Christ was controlled by the Spirit, I too can be controlled by the Spirit. However, Christ was CONSTANTLY led by the Spirit, but I must choose to invite or ask the Spirit to rule and influence my life. The same power is available to me if I do invite Him. And it can speak words of life and truth to my beloved family.
My ministry as a mom and wife is to tell them what God teaches me and by God's design, Christ will increase in their lives and I will decrease.
The influence of this encourager, the best man, is undeniable. And I've experienced it first hand. Driving to meet grandma, I was listening to lies: I really am a horrible mother. I don't think the engineer likes me. I'm not a leader. I can't do anything well…. Ready to cry, in the pit of despair, something within tells me these are lies. And then we arrive. I have envisioned seeing her, crying, venting, complaining. And there she is, this special woman, this fellow "best man" to her family's wedding and she smiles while she embraces me. And that is enough. This woman, whose joy is complete in Christ, controlled by the Spirit helps me overcome the lies and spiritual battle in my mind simply through her presence.
Do I do that for my family? A convicting question. An iCal fanatic, I arrange my calendar to reflect that I cherish the bride, my family, but that my joy is completed by the groom, Christ. Now, I must follow the plan.

You make know to me the path of life;
in Your presence there is fullness of joy;
at Your right hand are pleasures forevermore. Psalm 16:11

What wedding picture is set in your mind when you read John 3:29-30? 

According to the gift of God's grace, I was given a ministry achievable only by the working of His power in me. Though I am the very least of all the saints, this ministry was given to tell my family the unsearchable riches of Christ and to bring to light for them what is the plan of the mystery hidden for ages in God who created all things….For this reason, I bow my knees before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth is named, that according to the riches of His glory He may grant my family to be strengthened with power through His Spirit in their inner beings, so that Christ (not me) may dwell in their hearts through faith--that the engineer and golden heads, being rooted and grounded in love, may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breath and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that they may be filled with all the fullness of God. Ephesians 3:7-9,14-19, my paraphrase

What is your ministry? In that ministry, will you become less so Christ can become greater?

Best man

"Never love family more than you love Jesus. Our priorities should be Christ, spouse, family…" I thought I was doing well. Then in disappointment, I realized I had elevated my family. They did not meet my "need." Since Christ meets all my needs, expecting my family to meet my needs makes them essentially an idol. I took Christ off the throne of my life and put these four wonderful, yet imperfect beings, on the throne. My eyes were on my family, not on Christ.

Then God revealed to me a beautiful picture of a wedding. The bride is beautifully adorned spoken for by the groom. The groom has eyes fixed on and passion for his bride. And then, as a supporting witness to this marriage is the best man. He stands beside the groom and listens to the groom; he is loyal to the groom. Yes, he values the bride, but his first priority is the groom. Christ is the groom. Christ, not the bride, completes the best man's joy. My family is the bride. I am the best man. When I value and cherish the bride more than the groom, the bride (my family) becomes my focus, my influence, and I depend on them to meet my needs. Needs only Christ (the groom) is meant to fulfill. (See John 3:29-30.)
Family is a blessing, not a provision. When I feel frustrated and let down by my family (I'm sure the feeling is mutual), I need to reaffirm in my mind that Christ meets all my needs.

…since He Himself gives to all mankind life and breath and everything. Acts 17:25

'Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid.' John 14:27

You keep in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in You. Isaiah 26:3

…that you may be filled with all the fullness of God. Ephesians 3:19

I am inspired by Paul's example. Paul loved the church (Ephesians 3:14-19) and he prayed for the church but he loved Christ more!

I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. Philippians 3:8 

Do you trust God to meet all your needs or like me, do you expect others to meet some of these needs? (For example: security, your value and purpose, physical needs--affection, possessions, quality time, etc--, peacefulness, strength, etc…) Could it be these amazing people in your life have been elevated beyond the bridegroom, Christ? Consider a prayer like this and reestablish Christ as your focus.

I repent of making the golden heads and engineer my focus, my idol. I turn to you. Holy Spirit, rule, reign and influence my life. And may, you, the bridegroom be the apple of my eye forever! Amen.

Before the blossom

Why is it at Mother's Day, Christians pull out Proverbs 31? The woman described seems like the ideal model. She's amazing: a blessing to her husband "all the days of her life," works hard and willingly, provides for family, friends and the poor, creates a home and clothing to protect her family and therefore has no worries for her family. She's wise, in shape, in the marketplace, disciples her children, works in ministries, is dignified, fears the Lord, teaches, proactive, prays…. How in the world?
I think what comes first is clearly at the beginning,

"She is far more precious than jewels," (v. 10b). 

She knows who she is. She's not just someone's wife, mom or mentor. She's in Christ. The Proverbs 31 woman knows that she is the jewel of her heavenly Father's eye. She knows, He rejoices over me with gladness; He will quiet me by His love; He will exult over me with loud singing (Zephaniah 3:17). She is in Christ.
Planting season is upon us. Peering through a book from the library, gaining tidbits of knowledge, I noticed a tip for planting annual seedling: "Pinch off any flowers or buds so the plant can focus it's energy on getting it's roots established rather than flowering, then water well." This Proverbs 31 woman, establishes her roots in Christ. She knows she is fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14). She knows she is the apple of God's eye (Psalm 17) and that she is His treasured possession (Deuteronomy 7:6), she's forgiven (1 John 1:9), gifted (1 Corinthians 12:7), and blessed (Ephesians 1:3). After she's grounded in Christ, she can focus her energy on the rest of her attributes and blossom.
Establishing her identity in Christ, is only the beginning of her spirituality. If you noticed, in my gardening book, the last phrase was, "then water well." I think the wise Proverbs 31 woman waters in verse 15:

She rises while it is yet night
and provides food for her household
and portions for her maidens.

Rising "while it is yet night" is her daily multi-vitamin. Solomon was not referring simply to physical food. He was also speaking of spiritual food. When the alarm goes off at 5am, I'm not always excited to jump out of bed, but I know that if I don't, I'll regret it. If I wake early, spend time marinating in God's Word, I'm ready to give. Contrary, if I hit snooze for an hour, waking the same time as my family, I am like a dry wilting, stressed plant, and it's ugly. The wise Proverbs 31 woman knows she needs a daily spiritual vitamin. This rich time of fellowship with God in the morning, feeds our spirit throughout the day and gives us energy to blossom.
Read Proverbs 31:10-31. Which attributes of this Proverbs 31 woman convicts you the most? She is overwhelming! Select ONE area that you will focus on this week. Can I suggest you begin with establishing your worth in Christ or nourishing your spirit with Him daily if these are areas of conviction?

Take My Life

1. Unexpected to me, the life of Samson (Judges 13-16) resounds greatly in my soul. Two totally different topics strike me. Samson's parents and Samson as a servant of God. First, Samson as God's servant.
2. As a child we read stories of Samson, impressed by his God-given gift of strength, like a Old Testament Superhero. Yet, as an adult we see Samson's life marked by lack of character and missed opportunity to bring God glory. Samson was self-indulgent, hot-headed and lacked self-control. Had Samson lived for God and others instead of himself, what an inspiration he would have been. Yet God used Samson to do His will and protect the Israel from total oppression by the Philistines for twenty-years. Samson could have totally saved Israel and ruled in righteousness had He been totally sold out to God. However, this was God's plan and His plan always prevails. When God's servants are not seeking Him for direction or obeying His ways, they aren't submitting to God's divine authority and typically, it doesn't go very well.
3. Taking stock of my life, am I really that much different than Samson? In struggling to rebuild relationship with the engineer, what God has revealed to me most recently is how selfish I am with my time. Saturday with the family, continually self-speaking, Die to self. "Yes, I'd love to help you do that."It's not about me. "Yes, I'd love to look for that with you." Direct my paths Lord. "Yes, let's play a game." Left on my own, I would have rather had done something for myself, shopped for myself, spent money on myself, made my favorite dinner. But, I've tried that and it didn't go very well. For years, after the golden heads were tucked in tight, I spent my time doing what I wanted to do. Time was seldom spent doing something with the engineer. Under the same roof, we went our own ways. It doesn't take long before I realized, I don't have any of the same interests as this man I live with and I don't even think I love him. Yet love is a choice. I need to choose to build relationship with him. I need to put myself aside and choose him. It wasn't going well. What's amazing is choosing to put self aside and spend time with the engineer immediately results in a closeness and intimacy. It's so evident. Choosing God's way and prioritizing others is the way God will bless.
4. My life these days is filled with self talk. I don't know how long this happens before it becomes first nature. Maybe it never will be. But it is the right road.

1. The path of the righteous is the like the light of the dawn, which shines brighter and brighter until full day. Proverbs 4:18

1. My life is not mine. I do believe my favorite hymn is "Take My Life," by Frances R. Havergal.
Take my life and let it be
Consecrated, Lord, to Thee.
Take my moments and my days,
Let them flow in endless praise.
2. Take my hands and let them move
   At the impulse of Thy love.
   Take my feet and let them be
   Swift and beautiful for Thee.
3. Take my voice and let me sing,
   Always, only for my King.
   Take my lips and let them be
   Filled with messages from Thee.
4. Take my silver and my gold,
   Not a mite would I withhold.
   Take my intellect and use
   Every pow’r as Thou shalt choose.
5. Take my will and make it Thine,
   It shall be no longer mine.
   Take my heart, it is Thine own,
   It shall be Thy royal throne.
6. Take my love, my Lord, I pour
   At Thy feet its treasure store.
   Take myself and I will be
   Ever, only, all for Thee.
7. 
   
8. Take some time to sing to the Lord and ask yourself these questions: Am I choosing to live for the Lord or for myself? Does my life inspire others to walk more closely with the LORD? Decide to yield yourself to His complete control and rest in His strengthening power.

The Giver

What has our Thanksgiving holiday become? Honestly, the thanking is often set aside as thoughts run toward time with family, turkey, pumpkin pie and Black Friday Sales. But twice God has stolen my attention. Once in an email, the sender intending good but missing God, types on her thoughts of Thanksgiving,

It's a nice time to reflect on what each of us have and how much we take for granted and should be thankful for.

Somehow I think the point is missed that anything we have is God's on loan to us and so we should give thanks to the Giver.
Second, in a study of the Names of God, my thoughts fixed on Yehavah Yireh: the name of the place where Abraham was ready to sacrifice Isaac, his only son to the LORD. However, the Giver sees the need for a substitutionary sacrifice and provides a ram (Genesis 22:8-14).
So in our lives, God sees our needs first, then provides. Even now, sitting at the computer trying to reconstruct my thoughts, my entire body shakes in intense anxiety. I need peace. He sees my need. He will provide.
As I look over the New Testament verses I'm overwhelmed at the generosity, unlimited resources and power of the Giver.

In past generations He allowed all the nations to walk in their own ways. Yet He did not leave Himself without witness, for He did good by giving you rains from heaven and fruitful seasons, satisfying your hearts with food and gladness. Acts 14:17 

He who did not spare his own Son but willingly gave Him up for us all, how will He not also with Him graciously give us all things? Romans 8:32 

And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that having all sufficiency in all things at all times, you may abound in every good work. 2 Corinthians 9:8 

And my God will supply every need of yours according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:19 

As for the rich in this present age, charge them not to be haughty, nor to set their hopes on the uncertainty of riches, but on God, who richly provides us with everything to enjoy. 1 Timothy 6:17

He has unlimited resources and power and even when we walk in our own selfish ways, He willingly, generously provides for us. Isn't He the Giver?
While I have confessed my own falling away from making Thanksgiving a reflection and an offering back to the Giver, I was delighted to learn when Thanksgiving was instated by President Lincoln, the intention was to collectively thank God as a whole nation.

October 3, 1863By the President of the United States
A Proclamation
The year that is drawing toward its close has been filled with the blessings of fruitful fields and healthful skies. To these bounties, which are so constantly enjoyed that we are prone to forget the source from which they come, others have been added, which are of so extraordinary a nature that they cannot fail to penetrate and soften the heart which is habitually insensible to the ever-watchful providence of Almighty God.
In the midst of a civil war of unequaled magnitude and severity, which has sometimes seemed to foreign states to invite and provoke their aggressions, peace has been preserved with all nations, order has been maintained, the laws have been respected and obeyed, and harmony has prevailed everywhere, except in the theater of military conflict; while that theater has been greatly contracted by the advancing armies and navies of the Union.
Needful diversions of wealth and of strength from the fields of peaceful industry to the national defense have not arrested the plow, the shuttle, or the ship; the ax has enlarged the borders of our settlements, and the mines, as well of iron and coal as of the precious metals, have yielded even more abundantly than heretofore. Population has steadily increased, notwithstanding the waste that has been made in the camp, the siege, and the battlefield, and the country, rejoicing in the consciousness of augmented strength and vigor, is permitted to expect continuance of years with large increase of freedom.
No human counsel hath devised, nor hath any mortal hand worked out these great things. They are the gracious gifts of the Most High God, who while dealing with us in anger for our sins, hath nevertheless remembered mercy.
It has seemed to me fit and proper that they should be solemnly, reverently, and gratefully acknowledged as with one heart and one voice by the whole American people. I do, therefore, invite my fellow-citizens in every part of the United States, and also those who are at sea and those who are sojourning in foreign lands, to set apart and observe the last Thursday of November next as a Day of Thanksgiving and Praise to our beneficent Father who dwelleth in the heavens. And I recommend to them that, while offering up the ascriptions justly due to Him for such singular deliverances and blessings, they do also, with humble penitence for our national perverseness and disobedience, commend to His tender care all those who have become widows, orphans, mourners, or sufferers in the lamentable civil strife in which we are unavoidably engaged, and fervently implore the interposition of the Almighty hand to heal the wounds of the nation, and to restore it, as soon as may be consistent with the Divine purposes, to the full enjoyment of peace, harmony, tranquility, and union.

Take assessment of your heart's attitude toward the Thanksgiving holiday. I know that changing my attitude will result in God granting me the peace that I desperately need. As I wait expectantly for His provision because I know He sees it, I start a new list of gratitude… 

1. The compassionate one making pancakes for breakfast
2. The engineer cleaning the kitchen
3. The engineer strumming guitar
4. Gigi
5. Big coffee cups
6. Pinochle with the oldest girls
7. Zodhiates Greek Dictionary
8. Knitting needles
9. Sunshine warming through window
10. ...

Won't you begin a list with me?

Happy

So much rattles through the space between my ears. Today, I've reacquainted myself with the difference between being blessed and being happy. Strong's number 3107, makarios, and adjective meaning

• blessed
• favor with God
• fullness from God
• said of those who believe in Jesus, God's Son and are then indwelt by the Holy Spirit
• satisfied no matter the circumstance
• kingdom of God in your heart
• opposite of needy
• in the world, yet independent of the world
• satisfied by God, not circumstance

What strikes most is that I am blessed and it isn't dependent on my circumstances. Last night, mothers visiting, realizing that we need to soak in the moments of now, not just look forward to the future. Yet, how do I keep from yearning for what's next, assuming it will be better, more blessed? I know the key lies in giving thanks...counting my gifts. Ironic that a synonyms for makarios is eulogeo (2127), to bless, thank.
I know

His divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of him who called us to his own glory and excellence, by which he has granted to us his precious and very great promise so that through them you may become partakers of the divine nature..(2 Peter 1:3-4)

and that

I have been filled in Christ, who is the head of all rule and authority. (Colossians 2:10)

Happiness depends on circumstance. Indeed, the root hap means luck as a favorable circumstance or happenings. A circumstance is temporary: the spilled milk, the millionth "teachable moment", the fighting sisters, broken dish, a whining or defiant child. But the kingdom of God in my heart is now and it is eternal (Luke 17:21).
Again, I will begin my list making...1000 things to thank God because I AM blessed. Determine today to begin a written list of reasons you are makarios.

Harder

One discipline that I try to incorporate into my days is listening to podcasts. Mark Driscoll referred to listening to podcasts as "redeeming the time." Those who spend part of their day in a commute are likely to benefit from listening to a solid, Bible believing preacher. I listen while doing meanile tasks like making dinner, cleaning and weeding the garden. Listening to Mark Driscoll (Mars Hill) finish his series on the book of Ephesians, "I Am Rewarded," spoke volumes to how we (even moms) are to work as if working for the Lord, not men (Ephesians 6:7). I am a mom, working for Jesus, taking care of His golden heads. Jesus is my Boss, He see, knows and rewards me.  The next sermon in that series, "I Am Victorious" teaches how the armor of God is available to His children and that we are victorious (Ephesians 6:10-20) in the battle against satan. Since we are at war with satan, life is not going to be easy: "The harder it gets, the closer you're getting to God's will." In general, I find this so true of life these last years.
A day or two later, I remembered that statement while brushing my teeth and dry erased it onto the mirror. (I love to leave notes like this to encourage the engineer and I while we both begin and end our days in front of the bathroom mirror.) Yet a few hours later, at whit's end with my golden heads, I read it again and the light bulb of application luminates. Training my girls in the ways they should go is hard! This summer's goals of teaching them to clean, wash laundry, cook, plan, garden, sew, build campfires, get along with others, manage money...the list is extensive, constant and taxing.  It's hard because satan doesn't want me to actively parent but teaching the golden heads is surely God's will.

Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it. Proverbs 22:6

Along with that, acquiring a teacher's heart, patience, relinquishing control of my "in order" home, is conforming me into the image of Christ.

And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another. 2 Corinthians 3:18

So the job is hard but the benefit is two-fold. Praise be to God that I am both rewarded and victorious. In what circumstance do you find yourself in that's hard? Are you tempted to give up or will you choose to persevere knowing that you're moving closer to God's will?

One last nugget

There are many ways these days to keep track of your contacts. Strive to keep addresses, phone numbers and email update and in one place. This makes Christmas time and birthday parties easier . I utilize the Address Book on my mac. It automatically syncs with my iPod. Last week, at the post office to mail a package, I could simply grab the address needed from my iPod. Hands down, this beats my old system of printing the contacts from my computer program and carrying them around in a 3-ring binder. However, I still keep that binder, because it's the greatest place to keep my stamps, return address labels, and a few notecards for when I want to drop someone a note.
The introduction of Bill Pay online from most banking websites has made paying bills so much easier (and reduced the need for so many stamps.) It's convenient to pay them in advance and the money transfers on the future date that you determine.
When the mail comes in, have one place set aside to collect it. I like to keep piles. One for bills to be paid, one for pay check stubs that need to be entered into the checking account, one for letters from Compassion kids and one miscellaneous. Once a week, on my calendar, I set aside an hour to sort through these thoroughly. If more time than that lapses, I  risk forgetting about a bill or necessary follow-up.
Take control of you mailbox! Set systems in place to be sure your addresses are organized and bills get paid on-time!

Well to the ways of her household

Every week, schedule shopping into you iCal. (This cannot be normal, but I seem to love shopping so much that even grocery shopping is a highlight to my week.) Although, I don't always enjoy watching the money just go, I have found that getting the monthly (weekly, bi-weekly, however you budget) budgeted amount for grocery and household goods in cash in an envelope has been very helpful to curb overspending. The engineer and I have been faithful Dave Ramsey Financial Peace Graduates for 7+ years now and in his teaching, I learned that studies on the brain showed that people who paid for purchases with a credit or even check card activated the pleasure center of the brain as where paying for purchases with cash activated the pain center of the brain. Try it for yourself, but I am a total believer! Parting with "real money" (cash) is much more painful to me than swiping a card, even if I'm buying milk and toilet paper.
In keeping your life simple, a couple tips on shopping lists. One idea is to have a monthly (or weekly) master shopping list. I used this for years. My list looked like this:

Cleaning
Toilet Cleaner
Clean Shower
Bleach
Household
Air Freshners
Electrosol
Era
Snuggle
Shout!
Charcoal
Lighter Fluid
Garbage Bags
Napkins
Paper Plates
Paper Towels
Toilet Paper
Softener Salt
Hygiene
Bar Soap-Zest
Razors
Shampoo/Conditioner
Toothpaste
Floss
Gel
Hair Spray
Deodorant
Cotton balls
Contact Solution
Wipes
Bath Bubbles
Dairy
Margarine
Yogurt
Eggs
Cottage Cheese
Frozen
Frozen Veggies
Frozen Pizza
Frozen Bread Dough
Baking
Flour – white & wheat
Sugar
Brown Sugar
Powdered Sugar
Chocolate Chips
Oil
Produce
On Sale Fresh Fruit
Potatoes
Green Pepper
Lettuce
Others
OJ
Raisins
Peanut Butter
Mac & Cheese
Spaghetti
Chips
COSTCO
Cheddar Cheese
Mozzarella Cheese
Tortilla Shells
Bananas
Yeast
Milk
Butter 

Each month, I printed this list, crossed out the items we didn't need more of for the coming month and then kept the list with me when I was shopping. Of course printed out, there was room to add to my list special ingredients for recipes and requests from the family.
For a while, I used the app called Grocery iQ. It allowed me to make a list of favorites (this would be my master shopping list), add stores, access online coupons, and more. I still use this to remember what kind of oil to buy for the car and truck, and what size air filter for the furnace/air conditioner.
It was a good app, but because I'm one of "those" couponer and sale-circular shopper, I found it easier to just keep my shopping list and sale items we purchase anyway in notes on my iMail (that syncs to my iPod). It seemed quicker to me to be able to type my list on the computer when I was at home, and while on the go, be able to edit it on my iPod.

Keeping milk and juice in the fridge, healthy & nourishing snacks on hand, and yes, even HelloKitty bandaids in-stock is providing for my family. They may never notice I have them stocked, but they will definitely notice if I don't have the essentials available! Sometimes it's an overwhelming feeling but I stop to trust in God that I'm falling in-line with the example of the Proverbs 31 woman:
¹³ 

She seeks wool and flax,    and works with willing hands. (v. 13)  

She is like the ships of the merchant; she brings her food from afar. (v. 14)

She rises while it is yet night    and provides food for her household    and portions for her maidens.  (v. 15)

She is not afraid of snow for her household,    for all her household are clothed in scarlet. (v. 21)

 She looks well to the ways of her household    and does not eat the bread of idleness. (v. 27)

Decide how you will organize your time and your shopping list in a style that fits you and provides well for your family.

Eat, drink, find enjoyment!

Behold, what I have seen to be good and fitting is to eat and drink and find enjoyment and see good in all the toil with which one toils under the sun the few days of his life that God has given him, for this is his lot. Ecclesiastes 5:18

Although I struggle with enjoying food in excess when I take my eyes off Christ, I am thankful that God gave us food to enjoy! Though I'm not sure how something can be both joy and pain, planning a menu for my family is both. Joy when I'm full of great ideas and creative things to try. Joy when their eyes light up at the phrase, "Mac and Cheese Casserole" but pain when I have no creativity, no plan and hear, "Mom, can you not make this again. It's not my favorite." However, it is part of my job as a worker at home. (Which, overall, I do love.)
Over the years I'm learned and tried different methods of approach to menu planning: Monthly menu plans, weekly planning and a 3-week rotation. If you are new to menu planning and the kitchen seems daunting, the 3-week rotation is perhaps the best place to begin.
On average, we eat the same foods about every three weeks. So with the 3-week plan, you gather your typical recipes plot them out in a 3-week rotation. Along with this, it is handy to have a corresponding grocery list for these recipes.
For years, with young toddlers, I liked doing monthly menu planning. Set aside at least 1-hour to make a list of  15-20 meals to be served in the calendar month. I found this allowed for consuming all the leftovers, eating out and of course, ordering in pizza. (In our home, I typically only make the evening dinner meal--with enough leftovers to pack for a lunch the next day--so if you make lunches or full breakfasts, you'd have to add the total menu ideas.) Make a corresponding grocery list and stock the pantry. Then as you go through the month, every day you can decide what's for dinner that night. I even kept my monthly list from year to year because what we eat typically corresponds to what foods are in season and on sale during various times of the year. This made the task less daunting after the first year because I could use most of the same menu ideas the next year. 
Currently, I create a weekly menu plan based on sale items and favorite recipes that appear on my favorite food blog, www.budgetbytes.blogspot.com. I have "Menu" on my iCal as reoccurring event at 6pm. When I plan my menus, I simply type in the menu item on each event and then add necessary grocery items to my shopping list. (More on shopping lists next week.)
Everyone is different, but for me, I am paralyzed without a plan. If I have a plan, I can easily get in motion, i.e. thaw & marinate meat, prep the veggies, load up the crockpot in the morning when we have a busy day, etc.
What tips can you share in regards to menu planning? Do you have a favorite app to share? Decide today to start menu planning and save yourself mucho bucks (and calories) by not eating out as much and save yourself the stress of 5:30pm and frozen chicken!