Step

I love the living and active Word of God. I love that I can read the exact same passage maybe 20 times and the next time see something new.

Every place that the sole of your foot will tread upon I have given to you, just as I promised to Moses. Joshua 1:3

God couldn't give the land to the Israelites until they walked into it. If we don't step, we don't obtain. Like the Israelites, we need to take the first step toward God's promise.
I have this debilitating fear within as I think about taking new territory. I have this dream, this great big dream, bigger than anything ever before. But if I don't step out, how can God give?
Faith means believing that He's done it and it's already done while you wait for the details to sort themselves out. Though we may feel uncomfortable before that step of faith, after we begin, we may look back and wonder, of what was I so fearful?
When we first moved to the south metro, I was petrified of driving. I remember my first trip out to buy groceries. Bundled up in the cold with my 3-year old, GPS in hand, taking deep breaths, praying for God's strength and confidence as I navigated the "city" of Apple Valley. Today, I look back and laugh. Seriously? Apple Valley? This is not the city, this is my backyard: easy and comfortable.
You know that feeling of returning home after a long trip or a short, exhausting trip? At last, home! The hum of the furnace, the familiar look of decor, the stinky feet smell in the front closet...it's just home. When the Israelites stepped into Canaan, it just felt like home. This is true in our lives, when God gives us a dream and direction and we obediently step out, we may find, it feels like home.
Three times in Joshua 1:6-9, God commands Joshua, to be "strong and courageous...only be strong and very courageous...I command you, be strong and courageous...for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go." Even when I step out of my safe zone, I am not alone. At the end of Joshua chapter 1, even the officers of the Israelites tell him, "Only, be strong and courageous Joshua." Why are we waiting? Step.
Where is God nudging you to be strong, courageous and take that step? In a relationship, a prior fear, a ministry, work, your health... Read Joshua 1:6-9 placing your name into the scripture and believe God's promise to you as you take that first step.

Clumsy

In resolution for my marriage, I'm trying to change my routine: waking an hour later, in effort to stay up later. Yet I feel the richness of my time with God is affected. I don't hear from you or see your pictures lately, I verbalize with my ever-present God while driving. Then in my peripheral, He shows me a contrast. On my right, a hawk is awkwardly trying to take off in flight and in my upper left, a hawk is gliding through the sky effortlessly and gracefully. That's how it is with me. Now, in so many ways, I a clumpsily flapping my body around, trying to accomplish what He's designed me to do. But, I sensed He was telling me through this imagery, Sometime you will soar. I kept playing the image in my mind, contemplating and praising God for His presence and faithfulness. When given such imagery, I search for Scripture to affirm the lesson.

Why do you say, O Jacob, and speak, O Isreal,
'My way is hidden from the LORD,
and my right is disregarded by my God'?
Have you not known? Have you not heard?
The LORD is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He does not faint or grow weary;
His understanding is unsearchable.
He gives power to the faint,
and to him who has no might He increases strength.
Even youths shall faint and be weary,
and young men shall fall exhausted;
but they who wait for the LORD shall renew their strength;
they shall mount up with wings like eagles;
they shall run and not be weary;
they shall walk and not faint.
Isaiah 40:27-31

It was ridiculous for me to complain that God had moved away, that I was invisible to Him. Just as He created those hawks, He created me. He sustains me. He holds me together. He directs my paths.
In two other situations within the next two days, I was comforted and instructed with this verse. Know God. Trust. Wait. Soar. Today, I'm akward. Someday on earth, I may experience short soaring experiences, but in heaven, I will soar.
What situation do you feel akward and clumsy with right now? Will you choose to verbally commit it to a powerful, sovereign Lord and trust in His ability to empower you to soar?

Kaboom!

Sometimes I have an Ah, duh! moments. And I've been thinking for the last four days, I need to claim the power available to me because Christ lives in me. The process has seemed so elusive to me.

"I also pray that you will begin to understand how incredibly great God's power is to help those who believe him. It is that same mighty power that raised Christ from the dead and seated him in the place of honor at God's right hand in heaven." Ephesians 1:19-20, TLB

Overwhelmed would well describe the past few weeks for me. So much to shuffle, struggling to manage my time and priorities, tired physically and emotionally of parenting, selfishly wanting time for myself (which one would think is crazy since all the golden heads are in school now and I have the entire school day quiet) and wrestling with connection and communication with the engineer. I haven't quite figured out what to do with myself. I know Jesus holds the answer but how?
As I was preparing to teach on Paul's letter to the Corinthians, I became convicted of needing to take hold of the power available to me. It's like the Starbucks gift card in my wallet that I'm saving for "special occasions," so it remains unused. I have this power "card", but like my Starbucks card, I'm saving it for when I "really" need it. Ah, duh, I need it now. I need it every day. And unlike a gift card, God's power never runs out. God keeps reloading the card.
Lying in bed in the middle of the night, my mind goes full circle. Months ago, I learned and committed to memory: God as my loving Father will meet all my needs, all my physical needs and my need for purpose, peace and power. And He can meet those needs when the  Holy Spirit is ruling my life. Ah, duh, I knew that! I couldn't sleep anymore. Power, power, power kept flashing through my mind. While the sky lightened, I picked up Mark chapter two and power keep surfacing: power to heal, power to witness to the unsaved, power to be Lord of all.

"For the kingdom of God (Christ within me)…is living by power!" 1 Corinthians 4:20

How? I need a plan. To steel the one-liner from the A-Team, "I love it when a plan comes together." So what is my plan? My plan includes

1. Self-talk: In my moments of temptation, trial and weakness, I need to tell myself, "I am empowered by the Holy Spirit and that is more than enough power to make it through ___." 
2. Taking a deep breath, confessing my mess-up and choosing to do the opposite. 
3. Praying for the one who's driving me nuts. 

If I choose to use it: kaboom! His power will always comes through for me.
So what's your plan? How do you remind yourself to claim the unlimited, unending power available to you?

Ministry

I keep seeing the wedding picture God's painted in my mind. He the bridegroom, the engineer and golden heads the precious bride, and me as Christ's equally treasured best man. Christ completes my joy and He has strategically placed me beside Him in this marriage. Christ must become greater, and I must become less, (John 3:30).
Christ must become greater because He is perfect and I am not. For God's Spirit is constantly in Christ. Yet, because I have chosen to believe in Christ, I was given a seal of truth (John 3:33).
In this instance, seal means to set a mark upon a thing as a token of its authenticity or approvedness that God is true; He is who He says He is and will do what He says He will do. It reminds me of the Dairy REAL seal marked on packages (authentic milk) versus the package of cheese puffs claiming, "made with with real cheese." It's easy to spot a phony and even the calculating one reading this raised her eyebrows in questioning unbelief, really?
When placing my belief in Christ, I got the real seal (or the True seal). And my charge is filter everything through that true seal as well as to echo all I know to be true. Another way of understanding is that when we choose to believe, we are sealed with the Holy Spirit (Ephesians 1:13).The Holy Spirit directs me and teaches me what is true. Just as Christ was controlled by the Spirit, I too can be controlled by the Spirit. However, Christ was CONSTANTLY led by the Spirit, but I must choose to invite or ask the Spirit to rule and influence my life. The same power is available to me if I do invite Him. And it can speak words of life and truth to my beloved family.
My ministry as a mom and wife is to tell them what God teaches me and by God's design, Christ will increase in their lives and I will decrease.
The influence of this encourager, the best man, is undeniable. And I've experienced it first hand. Driving to meet grandma, I was listening to lies: I really am a horrible mother. I don't think the engineer likes me. I'm not a leader. I can't do anything well…. Ready to cry, in the pit of despair, something within tells me these are lies. And then we arrive. I have envisioned seeing her, crying, venting, complaining. And there she is, this special woman, this fellow "best man" to her family's wedding and she smiles while she embraces me. And that is enough. This woman, whose joy is complete in Christ, controlled by the Spirit helps me overcome the lies and spiritual battle in my mind simply through her presence.
Do I do that for my family? A convicting question. An iCal fanatic, I arrange my calendar to reflect that I cherish the bride, my family, but that my joy is completed by the groom, Christ. Now, I must follow the plan.

You make know to me the path of life;
in Your presence there is fullness of joy;
at Your right hand are pleasures forevermore. Psalm 16:11

What wedding picture is set in your mind when you read John 3:29-30? 

According to the gift of God's grace, I was given a ministry achievable only by the working of His power in me. Though I am the very least of all the saints, this ministry was given to tell my family the unsearchable riches of Christ and to bring to light for them what is the plan of the mystery hidden for ages in God who created all things….For this reason, I bow my knees before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth is named, that according to the riches of His glory He may grant my family to be strengthened with power through His Spirit in their inner beings, so that Christ (not me) may dwell in their hearts through faith--that the engineer and golden heads, being rooted and grounded in love, may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breath and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that they may be filled with all the fullness of God. Ephesians 3:7-9,14-19, my paraphrase

What is your ministry? In that ministry, will you become less so Christ can become greater?

Waters

He sent from on high, He took me;
He drew me out of many waters.
He rescued me from my strong enemy,
from those who hated me,
for they were too mighty for me.
They confronted me in the day of my calamity,
but the Lord was my support.
He brought me out into a broad place;
He rescued me, because He delighted in me. 2 Samuel 22:17-20

When I ponder the oceans of life, I see troubled times, sorrow, hard times and new daunting tasks. I think of Jesus calling Peter out on the water in Matthew 14:28-33. If Peter kept his focus on Jesus, he literally walked on water. When I keep my eyes on Jesus, He will pull me up, just as I am sinking and I can walk on the figurative waters. This past week, called to a new ministry, I found myself in uncharted waters. But I knew Jesus had called me out on the water.
One week ago, I woke in the middle of the night, and a small voice told me, "Isaiah 6." Trying to fall back to sleep, I willed myself to remember Isaiah 6 in the morning. When I woke, I recalled the voice. Why Isaiah? I have read the book of Isaiah before. I'll be honest; I don't like it. I don't understand it. I get lost in its imagery. As I open God's Word to Isaiah 6, I'm struck that it contains Isaiah's encounter and commission from the Lord.
First, Isaiah's encounter with the Lord is a calling to be transparent before Him, exposing sin. The angel touches Isaiah's lips or mouth to forgive his sin and takes away guilt. Interestingly, Isaiah's ministry (and typically our ministry) relied on his mouth (speaking). Then, Isaiah is sent to prophecy. Isaiah's response is, "Here I am, send me!" How could mine be any different? Immediately, I agree, Here I am, but not me, You through me. Speak through me.
In my task this week to teach God's Word, the enemy lurked his head: doubt, a cloudy mind, disrespectful children, silence on the home front. "But the Lord was my support." I've never received so many encouraging words. He supported me through my circumstances physically and through the words of His children to me.
As I rose to deliver my teaching, or rather His teaching, I realized He had brought me to a broad place. Here I was surrounded by people that wanted me to succeed, win, to do a work to which He called me. And why would He allow this? "..because He delighted in me." This blows my mind!
Who am I that He delights in me? I feel inept most of the time! Interestingly Moses asked the same question (Exodus 3:11) when God sent Him to Pharaoh, and David asks God the same question five times. Over a month ago, I journaled a paraphrase of David's response to God's blessing in 2 Samuel 7:18-22,

Who am I, O Lord God, and what is my name and family worth that you have brought me this far? And yet what you've done in my life is so small compared to all you are capable of. You have promised a legacy for all eternity because I am Christ's child. So what else can I say? I am your humble servant! You are great and have promised great, wonderful things. And in your giving you have revealed to me mysteries. You are great and unique, truly no one compares to You!

As I've watched God work mightily in my life this past week, I know it's all Him. And I am on guard, that pride doesn't sneak in, that I fully depend on Him using me. Not myself. My pastor brother-in-law shared a prayer from a book of Puritan Prayers, Valley of Vision,

Destroy in me every lofty thought, 

Break pride to pieces and scatter it to the winds, 

Annihilate each clinging shred of self-righteousness, 

Implant in me true lowliness of spirit, 

Abase me to self-loathing and self-abhorrence,  

Open in me a found of penitential tears, 

Break me, then bind me up; 

Thus will my heart be a prepared dwelling for my God...

Often we find ourselves in more than just one water. As I struggle through parenting and worshiping idols, I feel the wind in the water. Praise God I can recall victories, the broad places, so I can trust while I'm in the other waters.
What waters is He bringing you through right now? Acknowledge that He alone can come from on high and support you. Expect His deliverance, marveling in the fact that He rescues you because delights in you.

Run away

Physically fatigued, driving through heavy snow and traffic, the battle raged in my head. Wipers and defrost on high and struggling to see, Satan echoes in my mind, "You can't do this. You can't even get there. A leader in Bible Study has to live closer and be physically available. You're not committed to this Bible Study, you want to turn around and go home." Lies. Deep inside, I know these are lies but I can't quite shake the doubt that I'm not the right person for this ministry.

Safely arrived and listening to shared insight and revelations from the Lord, Satan taunts again, "You don't know anything compared to everyone else here. You are not qualified to lead. Others are more equipped than you." Struggling to focus on the discussion, I acknowledge these are Satan's lies, and turn my mind to what is true, honorable, right..(Philippians 4:8.) What do we do when the lies we hear contradict what we believe God has told us? Two things: recall and seek again. We prayed about the call to serve in leadership; believers affirmed me, God opened doors, His Word and Spirit affirmed. Still, the doubt. Can you relate? Have you ever pounded your head against the wall saying, I can't do this? The kids are whining and demanding. The deadline has come and gone; your company and personal reputation are on the line. Showtime is in ten minutes and you're not prepared. I can't do this.

Opening my Bible after a good night's rest, I am again amazed at how His mercies are new every morning (Lamentations 3:22-23). This is seeking again.

Seek the Lord and His strength,
Seek His presence continually. 1 Chronicles 16:11

It is not your own strength that can accomplish the tasks to which He calls you. His strength through you is sufficient. Your inadequacies cause you to rely on His strength.

For is who is God except the Lord?
And who is a rock, except our God?
God is my strength and power
and He makes my way perfect. 2 Samuel 22:32

He is solid, dependable and unbreakable. There is no task you cannot face without Him within you. He is within you when you believe in Christ, God's perfect Son sent to earth to offer His life for your wrong doing. You get so much for so little. 

When you accept the roles and position He calls you to, whether it be motherhood, leadership at work, in the community or church, and then obey His commands you will be equipped.

ACCEPT + OBEY = EQUIPPED

After you say "yes" to the road He places before you, comes the obedience. You have to be completely yielded to Him and available for God to work through you. When you experience success, He gets the glory. When you face a road block, you know He will work a miracle and if He doesn't, He's directing you somewhere else. We are all created with a sinful nature. We want our own way. We need Him to remove our heart of stone and give us His heart.

Whatever God calls you to, He wants you to serve Him through that ministry. 

Regard us as servants of Christ and stewards of the mysteries of God. Moreover, it is required of stewards that they be found trustworthy. 1 Corinthians 4:1-2

Merriam-Webster defines a stewards as "a person whose job is to manage the land and property of another person." God trusts you to manage His land and property with the tasks He puts before you. This is your ministry. Do those you minister to also trust you? In Jesus' parable of the talents, the master applauds those who are faithful with a little and rewards them with more to manage (Matthew 25:21, 23).

It seems surreal to me that God has placed in my heart such a deep desire to know Him more and His Word. To wake up in the morning, wondering, "What is He going to teach me today?" This seems unnatural. I would have never imagined myself like this five-years ago. I don't know why God has called me to write. He keeps affirming me in it though through His Spirit, people and circumstances. I felt like the Spirit called me to write every week this year. Discipline is super-natural! I am not super-natural, but Christ in me is. I could runaway from the ministry He has placed before me, but He trusts me to be available to do it through me.

Listen to the song by Waterdeep and let the lyrics be a conversation with God.

I could run away 

But You would never leave 

You would always stay 

Right by my side 

Everything I've ever wanted 

I've found in you 

And I need you, Oh I need you 

Every step of the way