Sometimes things just click. Come together.
Sometimes I can suddenly say as Mr. Gru in Despicable
Me, “Lightbulb!” And God in His gracious, merciful being reveals these
truths to me in layers, perfectly timed so that I might see the picture He's masterpiecing.
Driving last weekend, Dara MacLean's,
"Free" came on the radio. Belting it out as countless times before, suddenly I
realized God wants me to claim my freedom.
Hurting heart and broken wings
Cannot stop Your love from always finding me
No more days wasting away
I finally realize the gift inside of me
My strength alone will never be enough
Your arms keep lifting me up.
You tell me I've been made free
You give me everything I need to walk in my dreams.
I saw a glimpse of God telling me, stop claiming your
insecurities...I made you free. When you feel insecure, claim that I have made
you free.
My mind went to studying "
Who I am in Christ" through Neil Anderson's book
Victory
Over the Darkness. I am accepted, secure and significant. When I feel
insecure about my body, I need to
continually claim that I am complete in
Christ, there is no condemnation for me because I'm in Christ, I am adopted as
His child and He can never reject me.
Fast-forward two days...working through discipleship with a mentor and
parked in Matthew 6:25-34. In my 30 years of following Christ, I have never
notice Jesus saying in this verse, "Do not be anxious about your
life...nor about your body." Years of quickly summarizing this
passage saying, don't worry about food or drink or clothes but I’ve missed the
phrase tucked between those two…“nor about your body.” The birds don’t worry
but simply carry on daily tasks as God created them to do. They take care of
their bodies but don’t worry or fret about their bodies.
My mind quickly tries to justify, but
what about the literal scars on my body
from the past: Stretch marks, flabby skin? Yet Jesus took my shame upon
Himself, on His scarred body on the cross (Psalm 69:9).
Jesus doesn’t see those literal or emotional scars anymore so why would
I fret about them?
Therefore, do not be anxious
saying, “What do I look like?” For unbelievers seek after these things and your
heavenly Father knows your body. Instead, seek first the kingdom of God and his
righteousness and all these things will be added to you. Matthew 6:31-33, my paraphrase
Anxiety is to be replaced by
two directives. The first, seeking the kingdom of God, is submitting every area
of my life, even my insecurities, to Him and letting all of me be under His
domain. The next directive, seeking His righteousness, is choosing to obey His
commands, His written Word. When I take the focus off myself (my insecurities)
and focus on His rule, reign and my obedience to Him, security in my body image
will be given to me.
In studying this scripture,
the question was asked, What have you let
rule and control your life in the past months? Why? Lightbulb! I suddenly see that in trying so hard to overcome my bodily insecurities by reading books,
studying how to, I have let these bondages that I’m trying to break free from,
rule and control my life, motives, actions and attitudes. I have also let food,
what to eat, when to eat, how much to eat, etc, rule my life. The insecurity of
my body and food has been sitting on the throne of my life. It is what I have
been focusing on instead of Christ and allowing His rule on my life. Why? Deep down, I don’t trust God to
heal or sustain me through this process. But what of trust?
Trust in the LORD with all
your heart,
And rely not on your own
understanding,
But in all your ways
acknowledge Him
And He will make your paths
straight. Proverbs 3:5-6
And we know that for the good
of those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are
called according to his purpose. Romans 8:38
Lack of trust,
lack of His rule and reign in my life, has resulted in no spiritual fruit, no
peace, no gain in self-confidence. Jesus said by their fruit you will know they
are His. I have lacked fruit. I want fruit.
So I keep thinking, who cares? Who cares if I eat dessert? I am
accepted. There is no condemnation for me. Who cares if I have a belly? God
calls me His own, I am His and He can never reject me. When insecurity
creeps in, I literally say, Christ doesn’t care about the insecurity; it doesn’t define me. He accepts me.
Realizing this truth is huge,
but consistently, continually
letting Him rule and control my life is my next step. The hardest step. In my
quiet time, I see and grasp this concept so easily and clearly. Then the day
begins…I quickly loose sight. A visual comes to mind of Jesus’ yoke. Neil
Armstrong describes Jesus’ teaching recorded in Matthew 11:28-30 in his book Victory Over the Darkness. A yoke is
designed for two oxen, pulling in the same direction. Often, a younger ox is
trained side by side by an older, seasoned ox. I am the younger, inexperienced,
don’t know what I’m doing at times ox. Jesus is the strong, experienced, older
ox carrying most the burden, teaching me. And when Isaiah paints a contrasting picture
of worn out or renewing strength in chapter 40:28-30, I see the yoke:
He does not faint or grow
weary;
His understanding is unsearchable.
He gives power to the faint,
And to him who has no might He
increases strength.
Even youths shall faint and
be weary,
And young men shall fall
exhausted;
But they who wait for the
LORD shall renew their strength;
They shall mount up with wings
like eagles;
They shall run and not be
weary;
They shall walk and not
faint.
Growing up, my parents had a corkboard
with the phrase, “Things I have to remember not to forget.” So as I focus on
being yoked with Jesus throughout my day, I think to myself, God, help me to remember not to forget that
YOU are the seasoned ox, I may be weary, I may feel insecure, but You call me
Your own and You renew my strength.
What or who has been ruling and reining
your life the past months? Why? What steps will you take today to let God back
on the throne of your life as the seasoned ox?
