Voted

Returning home from vacation, we sat around the airport food court and recounted highlights from those six sunny days. As I relished the golden glow of faces around me, I noticed unique personalities and characteristics: Best hair; Best hat; Most opinion; Best leader. But what would be my characteristic or personality trait?
Just having read John Piper's Desiring God chapter on finding delight in marriage, I was hoping to be noted for being, "Most helpful." I helped with passports, boarding tickets, restroom breaks, towels, sunscreen, phone calls to room service or housekeeping. Piper begins the chapter like this,

The reason there is so much misery in marriage is not that husbands and wives seek their own pleasure, but that they do not seek it in the pleasure of their spouses. The biblical mandate to husbands AND wives is to seek your own joy in the joy of your spouse. (John Piper, Desiring God, p. 175.) 

God designed the first woman to help Adam. He determined that it wasn't good for Adam to be alone and God would fashion a helper fit for Adam (Genesis 2:18). God made mankind to share God's goodness, grace and bounty, not to hoard these gifts. And my role is not to be just like the engineer, but to compliment him and a assist him in sharing and giving God's gifts so that he feels joyful. Only when I do what I was designed to do, will I find my own pleasure and joy.

Recounting Grandma Edna's legacy, it is evident to me what a helper she was to her husband, children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren, friends, church and community. She gave and she complemented. But in all these stories and reflections, I never got the impression that she received rewards on this side of heaven. A helper seldom gets accolades. A helper is so behind the scenes, she rarely gets noticed and hardly ever gets glory. A godly helper is content with this.

Take John the Baptist. John 10:41 tells us that a crowd was following Jesus back to the place where He was baptized by John. There, possibly reminiscing on the life of John, they recall that John didn't do any miracles, he announced and pointed the masses of people to Jesus, who came to the world to save them. And now three years later, it turns out that everything John said about Jesus was true. John was a helper. He helped people find the way to eternal life: not in following religious rituals and laws, but in Jesus who would do the work required to save them. John helped people find God's goodness and grace. John wasn't celebrated and adorned. In fact, they killed John, but he would receive his reward in heaven.
Oh, to have the heart of a servant helper! To be content with just pointing people to Jesus. To be completely satisfied in assisting those in my sphere of influence and pointing them to Jesus. When I meet Jesus face to face, I hope in (so many words) I do in fact get voted, "A good helper."
Are you called to be a helper? When Eve was presented before Adam, he said, "At last!" This implies that he was so excited that this moment had finally came. He had finally found a helper and the two worked together in harmony. Is someone in your life waiting to for your help so they can say, "At last! I can complete the task God gave me because I have a helper,"? Unfortunately, sometimes our pride or greed for fame and recognition get in the way of helping. Will you choose to be content with the the role of helper?

Embrace

It had been a long, twisting, exhausting string of days on my own away from home. Exhausted, I reentered our home sweet home in Minnesota. Back in the engineer's embrace, I feel safe, protected, provided, comfortable and accepted. And then with a sigh and prayer of thanksgiving, I recognize again the miraculous gift God has given in the redemption of our marriage over the past year. So much thought occurred during this embrace because I lingered and breathed into the depth of the comfort of it. And in my pause, God gave me a gift of revelation or reminding of the symbol marriage on this side of heaven. It reflects Christ's love for the church; Christ's love for each church member; His love for me.

Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her... Ephesians 4:25

It gives me a glimpse of the complete, perfect way Jesus protects, provides, comforts, accepts me and so much more. What a comforting picture God's given us of His relationship with us.
Whether married or not, the next time you embrace someone, hold that embrace, breathe deeply and thank God for the gift He gives in relationships that reflect just a tiny fraction of how He is in relationship with you.

Learn

If you search long enough, you'll find it. That's one truth God is teaching me lately: just keep searching, My Word really is all the instructions you need for life.
I had been wrestling and searching Scripture for God's will on a sticky situation that required a decision. One of those circumstances marred with emotion, past experiences, hurt and frustration. First of all, I hate decisions. What to make for dinner can be debilitating (okay, so maybe I'm getting better at that one), what to do on a date, when to schedule vacation, can she go to a friend's house... These are hard enough for me, but now I had to make a decision that had much more far reaching consequences. And I had to choose, I could not defer to my stronger husband.
There, tucked in my memory verse from my Bible study lesson was a nugget that I'd been reciting for weeks.

"Come to me all who labor and are weary laden and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly of heart and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." Matthew 11:28-30.

In this situation, I knew God wanted me to learn from Jesus. Learn Jesus' way of gentleness and humility. Jesus wasn't bossy, He didn't stride around Galilee demanding, "His way or the highway." He gave people choice. He was compassionate and tender. He made time. He put aside His own personal preferences for the good of mankind. That's what He wants me to learn. And what better way to learn but by doing?
Great! Now I know Jesus' best choice for my decision, but then I realized this meant I had to do the exact thing I didn't want to do. It's easier to demand your own way. To choose your own preference, especially if you can take it. It's hard to say, "No, that's okay. You do it the way you want."
I had to choose obedience and trust the promise that accompanied Jesus' way of gentle humility: I would find rest for my soul. I'm thankful for His written Word that continually reassured me of pressing forward and for the engineer that empathetically walked beside me as I choose Jesus' way. And I did find rest, along with more humility. But I like Jesus' way and I'd do it again.
My sister-in-law helped me to see a simple example of this rest found when you learn gentle lowliness from Jesus. Late one evening, the girls wanted to play Pictionary. I'm not horrible at this game, but I just didn't want to play. I wanted to zone out and go to bed! But seeing their excitement, I agreed to play. (No, I didn't think about the gentle and humbly way of Jesus, it just seemed like the mom thing to do.) We had so much fun playing Pictionary that night and made so many memories, I'd do it again in a heartbeat. That's rest Jesus wanted me to find.
In what ways is God giving you opportunity to learn Jesus' way of gentleness and lowliness? Will you choose to follow Jesus' example, to learn from Him? I'm not certain, but chances are if you do, you will find more inner peace and rest from anxiety than if you demand your own way and exert your own idea.

It Came

I've been tickled at the rivalry between the boisterous and calculating golden heads to post the "Days 'Til Christmas" on our decor. Mostly because it means that I have one less "to do" and because I delight in their anticipation. Closer and closer...more about Jesus, less about cookies...
Challenged by a fellow blogger to really think about the words we sing at Christmas, I began wrestling over verse three of "It Came Upon a Midnight Clear."

O ye, beneath life's crushing load
Whose forms are bending low,
Who toil along the climbing way
With painful steps and slow
Look now! For glad and golden hours
Come swiftly on the wing;
O rest beside the weary road
And hear the angels sing

After a little research, I found that minister Edmund Sears penned this five-stanza poem in 1849 per  request for a Sunday School class on Christmas Eve. The world was not at rest and it seems this weighed heavy on Sears who could hardly pen an eloquent poem focused on beauty and peace in Bethlehem while the Christ-child was born within. America was at war with Mexico, revolution loomed in Europe and Sears saw the world in a rage and not wanting to hear the Christmas message: Jesus came once to save mankind and He's coming again.
If we have ears for the Christmas message, we can look forward to the "glad and golden hour" Jesus will return and even now "rest beside the weary road." However, how much of the world is caught up in the rituals and expectations of Christmas festivities, anxiety over a new president, finances, health care...? We can't possibly hear the Holy Spirit speaking to our souls: peace and reassurance, the promise of eternal life in God's presence.
No matter where your heart is this Christmas (I must admit, mine easily gets caught up in lists, cooking, wrapping, shopping...) will you rest and hear the message the angels brought 2000 years ago? This child came to change everything for us. Without His arrival, we were destined for torturous eternal death. Yet, if we would believe that all our sins were heaped upon Him and He satisfied God's wrath toward our sins by offering Himself as a perfect substitution for us, we can be assured of eternal life without fear. This is the "peace among those with whom He is pleased," (Luke 2:14) that the angels sang. Revel in this truth consistently this week.

It came upon the midnight clear,

That glorious song of old,

From angels bending near the earth,

To touch their harps of gold:

"Peace on the earth, goodwill to men,

From heaven's all-gracious King."

The world in solemn stillness lay,

To hear the angels sing.

Still through the cloven skies they come,

With peaceful wings unfurled,

And still their heavenly music floats

O'er all the weary world;

Above its sad and lowly plains,

They bend on hovering wing,

And ever o'er its babel sounds

The blessèd angels sing.

Yet with the woes of sin and strife

The world has suffered long;

Beneath the angel-strain have rolled

Two thousand years of wrong;

And man, at war with man, hears not

The love-song which they bring;

O hush the noise, ye men of strife,

And hear the angels sing.

And ye, beneath life's crushing load,

Whose forms are bending low,

Who toil along the climbing way

With painful steps and slow,

Look now! for glad and golden hours

come swiftly on the wing.

O rest beside the weary road,

And hear the angels sing!

For lo!, the days are hastening on,

By prophet bards foretold,

When with the ever-circling years

Comes round the age of gold

When peace shall over all the earth

Its ancient splendors fling,

And the whole world give back the song

Which now the angels sing.

Maintenance

Somewhere in the midst of a toddler and preschooler, a wise woman shared with me a systematic lifestyle of maintenance. Every day has its task and if you choose to accomplish these few tasks every day of the week, you won't be overwhelmed by a huge task later. These days, that means the golden heads vacuum (if we're lucky) Mondays and Wednesdays and I do the thorough "mom" job on Fridays. (Not that I always vacuum the corners, but I definitely catch a larger percentage of the popcorn crumbs.) So this Friday, sweep by sweep, I began thinking of the value of maintenance. Not waiting until the house is a complete disaster (which maybe the kitchen floor was) to clean but day by day, task by task, maintaining.
What about spiritual maintenance? How do we maintain our hearts? Not our ministries. Our hearts? How do we maintain our relationship with Jesus?
Having moved a handful of times across the country, I can vouch, if you don't maintain a friendship with regular contact, the relationship will fade.
Ever thinking of my resolution to make this Christmas about Jesus, not cookies, I know that He wants a relationship with you and me. Two truths come to mind: relationships are intentional and relationships take time.

And because of His glory and excellence, He has given us great and precious promises. These are the promises that enable you to share His divine nature and escape the world’s corruption caused by human desires. In view of all this, make every effort to respond to God’s promises. 2 Peter 1:4-5a

"Make every effort," or be intentional! Just as I must choose to pick up the phone and call a friend, I must choose to STOP and spend time with Jesus. With Jesus, our time can look different from day to day. For example, you might be wrapped in a blanket, in the dark and just listening; writing; reading a Bible passage; meditating or memorizing a verse; stopping irritated veins at the dinner table and asking Jesus to see them through His eyes with patience and love. He doesn't box us in!
Susanna Wesley, mother of 19 children, intentionally spent time with Jesus and her children knew it. At random throughout the day, she would toss her apron over her head and when she did, her children knew that she was spending time with Jesus.
At this time of year, no one seems to have enough time as our "to do" lists get longer and longer. Even a relationship with Jesus will take precious time. However,  I am learning from a new friend how I take time for granted. I choose to spend time on things that don't matter, things without eternal significance, even things that will eventually trip me up spiritually. What if we chose to do things that matter? What if we chose relationships over things? If we're honest, I'm pretty sure that we'd agree, we can all make time for Jesus.
Whether at home or within relationships, maintenance is important and it's also a choice. Don't let Jesus be a relationship you let go this Christmas while you move onto baking and shopping.

Engage

Walking through the department store, my pulse quickens in delight. The twinkling lights, Christmas music, the smell of cinnamon and cider, the taste of sugar cookies...I love it! But as I stroll through the store, I question, How do I make this Christmas more about Jesus and less about the cookies and presents? 

At the end of chapter 5 in Hosea's prophecy to Israel, God has made it clear that until His beloved people acknowledge their guilt of walking away from Him and seek Him earnestly, He's going to let them sit in their own heap of a mess. In the onset of chapter 6, it would seem like Israel decides to turn to Him, but light-heartedly in order to get what's in it for them. Like Dennis the Menace when his parents tell him he can sit in the corner until he's sorry for shooting an aspirin down Mr. Wilson's throat with a sling shot. And just like that, suddenly Dennis is "sorry now." But of course, an all-knowing God sees right through fake, phony, insincerity and knows that Israel's turning back to Him is short-lived like a dew that dissipates in the morning heat. God isn't fooled and He wants nothing of the sort. Instead God says,  

I desire steadfast love and not sacrifice; the knowledge of God rather than burnt offerings. Hosea 6:6

Steadfast love means a zeal toward God, an enduring, faithful, lasting love promise with God. God desires an intimate, authentic, consistent relationship with those He created. This is still true today. He sent Jesus to earth so all mankind could know more about who He is and have a relationship with Him because Jesus would pay the price for all our sins if we call Jesus our Lord. 

God's not interested in our attendance at the Christmas Eve service. He's not interested in our money. He's not interested in being our EMT service when we're in a mess and need a quick fix. He's not interested in a once a year confession. He's interested in our loving Him and knowing Him by pursing a relationship with Him.

This is opposite of what the department stores (ready to make a buck) are interested in this year. This is contrary to our culture, caught up in traditions and materialism. This choice will not feel natural. You will feel like you're walking against the current every step of the way. But if it's what your Creator wants most for Christmas, will you do it? Will you choose to engage in relationship with Jesus?

Tough Stuff

Though I may be hard pressed to find last minute Thanksgiving decorations (apparently the stores have moved onto Christmas), the calendar does beckon me to Thanksgiving. All I wanted was little leaf stickers to decorate my Thanksgiving notes...never to be found. I digress.
The writer in me wanted to share something really inspirational about gratitude. Thankfulness. Something thought-provoking. But I'm afraid I've come on the side of Debbie Downer or Negative Nellie.
What I find more thought-provocing these days, most profound is the choice to be grateful for the obstacles in life. The tough stuff. The things I've said before that I'd really just like to forget are happening or have happened in my life. I'm not suggesting that it's great to be stranded on the side of the road with an overheated car, to be in a tail-spin with your husband or be terminated from your job. I'm just wondering, if we put on aerial-view glasses, should we welcome these difficult circumstances because they give opportunities faith to grow?
I woke in the middle of the night with heavy feelings of bitterness. Why at three in the morning did the Holy Spirit see fit to convict me of bitterness toward someone? Because I had to deal with it, that's why. After confessing and pleading with God to change my bitterness into compassion, empathy and prayer, I'm realizing this isn't likely a one-time confession. This is like a wound that needs more consistent dressing changes. Likely for some time, I'll be confessing the bitterness that's emerged (again), thanking God for forgiveness (again) and asking Him to replace those feelings. Ahh, this will be a long road. Shouldn't I be thankful for the long road? Thankful for the opportunity to be right in my relationship with not only this person, but with God?
Though this will be a longer road than I'd like, "the best things are always achieved by the most difficult paths," (Streams in the Desert, pg.429). Don't I want more compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and love, to bear with others and forgive as Christ forgave me (Colossians 3:12-14)? If this is the circumstance I find myself in to practice and learn these virtues, then why wouldn't I choose to say, thanks for conflict?
This Thanksgiving, go deeper than thanking God for family, a home, health... Yes, these are all great gifts from a generous heavenly Father! And will you also choose to thank Him for the opportunities to grow in character and virtue? Will you choose to thank Him for the tough stuff?