Wonder

I was thrilled to be the guest reader in her classroom. Eyes sparkling as she walked through the room, she was clearly excited to show off her mom. I had the privilege of reading We Are All Wonders by R.J. Palacio, a picture book that compliments the chapter book, Wonder, that their class is storming through to finish before the movie is released Friday. The chapter book carries a strong anti-bullying message and the picture book a message that we're all amazing people just as we are. This is great literature for any age!
Fast forward a day as I exchange texts with a new dear friend updating each other on prayer requests and reports. As I continued to pray for this friend and her family, I praised God for her son's smile. After a rough day, she reported he smiled: one of the few ways he is able to communicate. As usual, this young man was a trooper in the midst of difficult circumstances. I thought about the books being read in this young classroom and I thought, "Her son is a wonder!" Truthfully, we really are all wonders! All the quirks that make us unique (and believe me, in a household of five, I see we've all got 'em..myself mostly) make us marvelously unique and special beings.
And then my thoughts drop 24 inches to the little one kicking and squirming in my womb, whom we cannot hardly wait to meet face to face. We are fully convinced that this child is a wonder even though we've never laid an eye on him or her.

For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb.
I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. Psalm 139:13-14

Wonder is used twice in these verses. First to describe mankind. Second to describe God. The original Hebrew words are similar but not the same. Translated, "wonderfully made," into English is a verb that means to be created with a difference, to be shown marvelous, to be set apart, to be illustrious. This is how God made us; different from the rest of creation. And each man and woman is different and magnificent according to God's perfection decision and He made man and woman set apart perfectly in His image (Genesis 1:27).
We are set apart and made wonderfully because He is set apart and made us to be like him. The next "wonderful in this verse describes God's active work. This verb, "wonderful" describes God's work and He is more marvelous than we and set apart from any other god because He is creating and sustaining the world while also supporting His people. This is beyond anything man could do. Indeed for man to do it would be impossible. Yet He does it and proves Himself 100% marvelous.
Why do I more easily see the wonder of a person with extreme disabilities, daily physical obstacles or a newborn baby than the wonder of my neighbor or myself? I tend to see my own life as average, not a wonder. I see my goldenhead's lives as typical. The engineer's life and its tasks as challenging. And lately, talking with grandpa, I find myself questioning the Wonderful God's purpose for not calling grandpa home to be with grandma in heaven. Yet God set every man, woman and child, no matter how young or old, apart as a wonder and has a marvelous plan for each moment of our lives.

Will we choose to believe it? Will we stop trying to change who we are to become more significant and believe that our original design is marvelous? I don't mean to let ourselves waste away but to realize God gave us our quirks and unique characteristics for His Wonderful purpose. Start by believing this about yourself. Then ask God to let you believe it about your neighbor, co-worker, spouse or child.

Needs

She sat across from me and said, "I have no needs, I used to have lots of needs. Now, I have no needs."

O God, you are my God; earnestly I seek you;
my soul thirsts for you;
my flesh faints for you,
as in a dry and weary land where there is no water.
So I have looked upon you in the sanctuary,
beholding your power and glory.
Because your steadfast love is better than life,
my lips will praise you.
So I will bless you as long as I live;
in your name I will lift up my hands. Psalm 63:1-4

We were made with a need for God, to thirst and long for Him. And we can find Him and be satisfied with Him because He is dependably powerful and He has an unwavering, unstoppable, irrevocable, accepting love toward us. That's want we want: real power and true love. He meets our need.

As we watch the news filled with shootings, stormy weather and political agendas, it's so clear that as a national society, we want power to be just and ultimate security (assuring love.) In our personal lives as well, we want the wrongs made right and we want to feel like we're enough just as we are. We have needs! But the psalmist shows us that not only are we created with needs, we can be satisfied!

My soul will be satisfied as with fat and rich food,
and my mouth will praise you with joyful lips... Psalm 63:5

With You, God, we can be satisfied! When can we be satisfied?

when I remember you upon my bed,
and meditate on you in the watches of the night; Psalm 63:6

This is the hinge verse. Not only is it the literal middle of the psalm, it is what can change our lives: when we choose to recall His faithfulness and channel our thoughts on Jesus. In the painful times: "upon my bed." In the good times when we're wondering when things will go wrong: "in the watches of the night." When we choose this thought pattern, NO MATTER our circumstance, we can sing for joy because we're perfectly protected by our powerful and loving God.

for you have been my help,
and in the shadow of your wings I will sing for joy.
My soul clings to you;
your right hand upholds me. Psalm 63:7-8

What does that look like? I can't tell you how many times I start conversations with God throughout my day: while coloring with the boisterous one, when thinking about the engineer, when I'm ready to moan in the midst of a parenting moment, when making decisions, in a beautiful moment of unity and delight between the golden heads, when my back hurts so badly I can't sleep, when I'm ready to scream because I'm not getting my way. Did you notice these instances include times of need "upon my bed" and "in the watches of the night"? Unfortunately, sometimes I forget to speak to Him. However, He is always available, if we would just approach Him and allow Him to meet our needs. Our need for powerful justice is met by a perfect Judge.

But those who seek to destroy my life
shall go down into the depths of the earth;
they shall be given over to the power of the sword;
they shall be a portion for jackals.
But the king shall rejoice in God;
all who swear by him shall exult,
for the mouths of liars will be stopped. Psalm 63:9-11

If only we would remember that help is possible WHEN we focus on Jesus. All our needs are met beyond expectation: satisfied! It doesn't matter if our future looks awesome or bleak. 

When my grandpa died, I heard of a painful trial in his own life: one of those moments "upon his bed." Apparently, with tight financial times on the farm, Grandpa had began driving truck in addition to farming. One evening, checking in with grandma on the phone, she had to relay to him that there had been a storm and hail had destroyed the crops: their expected farming income gone. I can't imagine what that would feel like to the family provider: sick, gut-wrenching, panic, fear... Likely after some tears and emotions, Grandpa kept driving and turned on the radio to a gospel station and heard truth from the Gaithers. 

The God of the mountain, is still God in the valley.
When things go wrong, He'll make them right.
'Cause the God of the good times, is still God in the bad times.
The God of the day, is still God of the night.

Are you experiencing a day on the mountain or a month in the valley? Are you "upon your bed" in agony and loss or in the watches of the night when things seem alright? No matter your circumstance, where are your thoughts? Are they fixed on Jesus? If they're not, will you choose to look to Him, think of Him, talk to Him and allow Him to satisfy you? Only He can satisfy your needs.

Broken

So to keep me from being conceited...a throne was given me in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to harass me, to keep me from becoming conceited. Three times I pleaded with the Lord about this, that it should leave me. But He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 2 Corinthians 12:5b-9

Somedays, I am mad at God for not taking away my physical insecurity. Early in my faith walk with Jesus, I thought that my insecurity issues were just as Paul said, thorns that I had to live with. Years later, intentionally consistent in my faith walk, I became confident, that God could heal me from my physical insecurities. I claimed it. I trusted Him for it. In recent months, I've come to understand that while He is able to remove my insecurity, He uses my physical insecurities as a tool.
It's so easy for me to become prideful. To compare myself and my faith walk with others'. I'm embarrassed to admit that. Further, it's hard for me to understand the prophet Isaiah.

In that year that King Uzziah died I saw the Lord sitting upon a throne, high and lifted up; the train of his robe filled the temple…And the foundations of the thresholds shook at the voice of him who called, and the house was filled with smoke. And I said: "Woe is me! For I am lost; for I am a man of unclean lips, and I dwell in the midst of a people of unclean lips; for my eyes have seen the King, the Lord of hosts!" Isaiah 6:1,4-5

Woe to me? Well, really God, I'm not the worst of sinners. I'm doing pretty well. Have I mentioned, I'm embarrassed? As I sat in worship with other believers and listened to Isaiah 6, my stomach churning from my food binge the night prior, I had messed up again! I forgot to be influenced by the Spirit and I went on autopilot. Ahg, I am truly the worst of sinners. I can't overcome this. Really, God, I know you can heal me of this stumbling block, this thorn. And I felt Him say, "But don't you see, this is right where I need you to be. Needing me. Broken. Humble. Stripped. The worst of sinners."
If I only ever remember two things, I want them to echo the words of John Newton, "My memory is nearly gone; but I remember two things: That I am a great sinner, and that Christ is a great Savior."
My thorn doesn't look like your thorn. But we hate the thorns. We wish them gone. God is saying to you, to me, "The thorn draws you to me, acknowledging that I am your only hope. And I'm more worried about your relationship with your Deliverer than I am about delivering you from your thorn." (Wolf, Katherine. CBS Teaching Director Conference. Broadmoor Resort, Colorado Springs, CO. 2015 Jan 23. Hope Heals.)

Then one of the seraphim flew to me, having in his had a burning coal that he had taken with tongs from the altar. And he touched my mouth and said; "Behold, this has touched your lips; your guilt is taken away, and your sin atoned for." And I heard the voice of the Lord saying, "Whom shall I send, and who will go for us?" Then I said, "Here I am! Send me." Isaiah 6:6-8

My sin and shame is taken away. My thorn is not. But praise be to God, in the posture of humility and brokenness, and I am available to be used by Him because it causes me to come to a realizing His Holy Spirit in me is my only hope of victory.

For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong. 2 Corinthians 12:10

I'd be lying if I said, "I love my food issues and my constant awareness of my imperfect body." But I strive to follow Paul's example, to be content. To praise God that my insecurities make me dependent on Him and then I can be used by Him. What thorn brings you to your knees in humility and allows God to use you? Will you choose to be content with it?

Enough

The first nights well-below freezing and snow sits on a thin layer of ice. "After school, I'm getting my ice-skates and going right to the pond." Better hold onto those skates for a while boisterous one.

Keep your life free from the love of money and be content with what you have for He has said, "I will never leave you nor forsake you."  Hebrews 13:5

Chapter 13 is the writer's finally rally for the Hebrews. Continue in love, practice hospitality to all, remember those in prison and those mistreated, stay pure in marriage, don't love money more than God...
Could this have a deeper application than just love of money? The NASB begins this way, "Make sure that your character…" Character is the mental and moral qualities that make up my life. Character makes me step back and think about my entirety: spiritual, mental, emotional, physical. Make sure all of me is free from aphilarguros. The same greek word is used here three times in a row! This is a string of exclamation points behind a word that literally means to be without an insatiable desire for more of what you don't have.
More what? Not just money but anything other than God: false peace, power, marital bliss, children, perfection, control, popularity, happiness, acceptance, justice, idols, job…
Replace wanting more with a choice: "..and be content." The word content is also translated sufficient or enough. Philip says to Jesus in John 14:8, "Show us the Father (God)and that will be enough." And in 2 Corinithians 12:9, God speaks to Paul, " 'My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness.' " I must determine that what I have is enough and sufficient and be content "with what I have." This word literally means what's near by. And what's nearby? Christ. I have Christ. When you believe in Jesus as your Savior, He comes to live within you. He is sufficient. He is enough. I should never desire more than that. So while I'm frustrated and on eggshells, I can't let my desire for peace and fixing trump my desire for Christ who is so sufficient in the interim.
The things for which we are greedy are temporary, Christ in me is forever. He empowers me and because He lives within me, I do not face these battles alone. He says, "I am with you in the struggle!"
On the eggshells, I choose to be content, to trust His sufficiency. And just like the boisterous one holding onto her ice skates, I hold onto Jesus.
In what area do you need to choose to be content? Verbally claim, trust and know with full confidence that Jesus in you is enough and He is with you in this struggle.

Will

Tears welling up in her eyes, the calculating one stares at me with betrayal. "I'm so sorry honey, this is not how mommy wanted this day to look either, but you have to be brave and do this yourself right now." Dashing out the door to play practice, I couldn't find the keys. Assuming both pairs were in the car with the engineer at work, neighbor Stephanie saved the day, but needed her car back in 20 minutes: ten minutes to get there and ten to return left no escort service into the first day of practice. As we rushed home, I prayed, "God, I don't understand why this day couldn't have looked more smooth, polished and beautiful." And in my heart, I know His reply, This is My will for you; nothing happens outside My plan. So aloud, I echo, "Yet, this is Your will for me. What in the world do you want me to learn from this?"

Therefore, my beloved, as you have always obeyed, so now, not only in my presence, but much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling for it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for His good pleasure. Philippians 2:12-13

And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to His purpose. Romans 8:28

We must accept every circumstance as God's will for us; as His tool to refine me, teach me, train me and make me more holy. It is my will that I need to bend toward His.
Sometimes circumstances are funny and simply embarrassing. Without the sugar coating, they can be hard, almost impossible: death. Or difficult: When miles separate you from someone who needs you, choosing to respond in anger (sin) to other's perceived sin, assigned a task without all the tools, last minute changes... This is when we need to choose to lay ourselves down, to be like Christ: humble, submissive, self-surrendered.
After thanking Stephanie for the use of her car, with two remaining goldenheads in tow, we returned home to resume laundry. There sitting on the dryer, was the set of keys I assumed were in the engineer's car. Ah...humility and stopping. That's what I needed taught. I needed to come clean with my girls, Stephanie and the engineer. I needed to stop trying to get things done so quickly. I made the mistake. I did something totally stupid. Me. No one else. And even though we laugh about it now, sometimes the little, silly instances remind and encourage us amidst the big, tough stuff.
Next time your circumstances don't align with your plan, pray. Accept that is is God's will for you and ask what He wants to accomplish or teach you through this seeming curve ball.

Joy in the rain

A cold April rain wakes me. Sitting in the quiet dark, I hear the birds begin. Same as every sunny, bright morning, the birds wail and sing their morning songs regardless of the rain. Do I sing even in the cold, disappointments and discouragements of life?

It is good to give thanks to the Lord,
to sing praises to your name, O Most High,
to declare your steadfast love in the morning,
and your faithfulness by night,
to the music of the lute and the harp,
to the melody of the lyre.
For you, O Lord, have made me glad by your work;
at the works of your hands I sing for joy. Psalm 92:1-4

I can imagine the birds' lyrics, "This is the day that the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it," (Psalm 118:24). Everywhere we turn, God is and God made, so we should constantly be singing.
This week, some friends found out they are having a baby girl. Excited for them, I recalled the birth of our first golden head. And though every parent has dreams and aspirations for their children, God created that child and knows their personality, likes and dislikes. Not long after the compassionate one was born, the engineer bought her a Minnesota Twins onesie. (I'm not going to lie, our bald headed baby girl looked like a boy wearing red, white and blue.) His hope was sharing a love of sports with his daughter, including baseball. Ten years later, there are no Twins jerseys but practice for the Spring Show's Daddy Daughter Dance. The engineer could be upset, refusing to engage in her world, disappointed and stone-hearted. But he smiles, and says, "We nailed it tonight!" exchanging high-fives with his firstborn. He's "singing" for joy at the work of God's hand.

• When it's snowing in April (or May) again; sing for joy! He's showing off His power, anything is possible.
• When the golden head lies again; sing for joy! He trusts me to bring her up in the way she should go.
• When I disobey again; sing for joy! He's forgiven all my sins; past, present and future. 
• When I watch my children struggle with the same respectable sin with which I wrestle; sing for joy! He's giving me opportunity to replace consequence of generational sin (Exodus 34:7) with righteousness to my children's children (Psalm 103:17). 

What disappointment, struggle or discouragement will you choose to respond to with thankfulness and joy? Determine how your personality sings for joy: journaling, talking out loud with the Lord, walking, dancing, singing, playing an instrument, writing, photography.... God created you. He knows when your heart is singing.

Rejoice in the Lord always. Pray without ceasing. Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

Digging holes

One of my favorite family movies is "Holes." A wrongfully convicted boy is sent to a brutal desert detention camp where he joins the job of digging holes for some mysterious reason. The comical warden of the camp, Mr. Sir, explains why the boys are digging holes:

"You take a bad boy, make him dig holes all day in the hot sun, it turns him into a good boy. That's our philosophy here at camp green lake."

Digging holes would build character. Character is forged in adversity. Think on the apostle Paul. Ironic that the book of Philippians is likely one of the most quoted books of the Bible for it's inspirational, encouraging verses yet when you look at it in context…the wake up call. Paul penned these inspirational words from prison, in chains. Talk about adversity. Yet, here's one thing he says,

I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. Philippians 4:12

Often, I've looked at this verse in terms of financial state. Today, I look at it in the context of stage of life. Whether you're a college student, starting your first job, in a taxing career, just married, feel "bare foot and pregnant" with kids crawling and running all over, a "soccer mom" taxiing children all over the place, sending your children off to college, experiencing an empty nest or spending your days serving the Lord, have you determined to be content in your life stage? Or do you find yourself, as I do often, thinking if only… or someday when...
Every stage of life has some obstacle. These obstacles will build your character. I've heard it said once that who you are at 30 is highly a result of your circumstances, but who you are at 40 (and beyond) is a result of your character. 
Abraham Lincoln said, "Reputation is the shadow. Character is the the tree." In essence, character  is who we are when no one is looking. Jesus said, "You will recognize them by their fruits," Matthew 7:16, 20. Who we are underneath our skin is evident by what we say and do. 
Do our lives exude the characteristics of a Holy Spirit-filled life as Paul taught in Galatians 5:22-23: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control? This is character of the highest caliber.
No matter your stage of life and obstacles in your stage, trust in God's purpose for this stage and allow Him to use it to transform you to be more like His Son, Jesus, our perfect example. 

And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:19

He is faithful in supplying our needs but what we need most is sanctification; to be made holy, to be like Christ Jesus (Romans 8:20). He called you to this season of life for such a time as this…to be conformed, so be content with whatever state you're in. 
Who do you want to be in ten years? Are you allowing the "digging of holes" in your current stage of life to build character? God did not call you to this stage of life to show how strong, smart or talented you are but rather how faithful He is. Choose contentment and trust in His purpose.

What we don't have

I am learning so much from my children. As I talk with God throughout my day, I can't help but see what He teaches me as their little lives unfold. A big irruption of barbies was going on first thing in the day. After a few hours, the compassionate one was finished. It wasn't fair that both her sisters have barbie houses and she was in the position to share a barbie house with the calculating one. I love an opportunity to be creative! So I attempted to have her think outside the box in how she might "make" a barbie house of her own. The card table idea won. Back in the "game" of barbies, the calculating one thinks this not fair! Why does her sister get the cool, "new" barbie house? Think of that, a card table, covered in blankets over the top (verses a real barbie house) was cause for jealousy. After pulling my hair out, I heard God gently say, "See, how you're never content or happy with what you have?"
Aren't I just like that? I am constantly looking for a new gadget for my kitchen, functional furniture for our home. If a neighbor gets a new car or friend get the new iPad, I think how I'd like a new ____. How does this line up with the Word of God? I think of Solomon writing the book of Ecclesiastes. Solomon who had everything, at the end of his life saying, "Meaningless, meaningless, everything is meaningless," and concludes his writing in Ecclesiastes 12:13, "Let us hear the conclusion of the matter: Fear God and keep His commandments. For this is man's all."
I make note that I need to study the fear of the Lord. I want to understand what that fully encompasses. Until I carve time for that, I strive toward obedience. What I have or do not have is meaningless,

The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love. Galatians 5:6