Together

Why is it when I'm sitting criss-cross applesauce on the ground God speaks to my heart most? It was early. It was summer. It was camping pack-up mode. I sat with my cup of coffee and felt like the patio potted flowers were beckoning me from my comfortable over-sized chair. We had moved the potted plants to the shaded corner of the deck and gave them a drink the night prior so they might fare well enough in our absence for a couple days. Something about that heap of green with splashes of blooming color shouted out at me. What beautiful similarity yet difference. One would never arrange them together so closely as we had, still doing so was a messy, yet beautiful sight full life and promise.
I feel like a mother hen with my plants. I tell the golden heads, "These are my babies," and it gave me a surge of delight to see them clumped together in the early morning light. That's when I heard Him speak to my heart. This is what it's like for a mother and father; they love to see her children together.
Any parent understands. I love to see my golden heads together (and getting along.) My heart delights and explodes into songs of gratitude when I see them swimming together in the pool, tossing a frisbee on the beach, playing store, blending f'real shakes together... In those moments of peace and unity among those I love and treasure most, a parent understands the young mother Mary in Luke 2:19, "But Mary treasured up all these things, pondering them in her heart."
For years, I've heard my own parents say things like, "We just want our family together, that's a gift to us." Even when the children are grown with children of their own, a parent loves to see their children come together.
Why would Jesus' heart be any different? After all, we are made in His image. Jesus must love to see His children come together. Read Jesus' desire in His prayer to His father before His crucifixion.

I do not ask for these only, but also for those who will believe in me through their word, that they may all be one, just as you, Father are in me , and I in you, that they also may be in us, so that the world may believe that you have sent me. The glory that you have given me I have given to them, that they may be one even as we are one, I in them and you in me, that they may become perfectly one, so that the world may know that you sent me and loved them even as you loved me. John 17:20-23

He wants His kids one with Him and when they are in-line with Jesus personally, they will be in-line with each other. He prayed it; He must love to see it. And this would be possible so that the unbelieving world would know Jesus. When the church members love each other, accept each other, spend life together and serve each other, they show the world a little picture of the unbreakable covenant love Jesus has for each of His children individually. Jesus wouldn't give up on anyone who turns to Him and so the church members must not give up on anyone who would follow Him.
I have to admit, I have been quite resistant to the church lately. They rub me the wrong way. I don't deeply connect with many...excuses, excuses. I'm wrong. Jesus loves to see His kids together!
This mother hen reminder from God has challenged me personally to fight for community in the church, to "not neglect meeting together," (Hebrews 10:25). Will you spend time contemplating your attitude toward those in the church and consider that Jesus loves to see His kids together?

Exposed

Like the layers of that delicious chocolate birthday cake, circumstances, scripture and creation seems to echo the word: transparent.

Studying the landscape out my window, the trees stand, completely exposed and naked. They can't hide what they are to the core. Transparent.

Driving down the road, Plumb's lyrics repeat the theme

I just let go

And I feel exposed

But its so beautiful

Cuz this is who I am

I've been such a mess

But now I can't care less 

I could bleed to death...

In Cinderella, I watched the country, slave girl look in the mirror before approaching the searching prince, in ragged clothes, dirty face, disheveled hair and say, "I have no magic to help me now." She must meet the prince just as she is. Transparent.

Studying in 2 Corinthians for Bible study, I watched the apostle Paul, expose a multitude of emotions and feelings to his readers. Transparent. And I wonder, why do we hide behind facades? Why do we pretend to have it all pulled together when in reality, it's the furthest thing from the truth?

That's when I felt compelled; the rubber meets the road here. Strip it off. Start with your make-up. I stood in front of the mirror staring for five-minutes before I decided to go to church without make-up on. I felt exposed. Quite literally. There was question in the engineer's eyes and hesitation as if to say, Are you sure you're ready for church? Did you forget something? 

Transparency is a choice that yeilds beautiful, authentic results.

Though Paul doesn't use the word, I feel it's part of his message in chapters 6 & 7 of 2 Corinthians. 

We have spoken freely to you, Corinthians: our heart is wide open. You are not restricted by us, but you are restricted in your own affections. In return..widen your hearts also. 2 Corinthians 6:11-13

Then Paul launches into a discussion on not tying yourselves to unbelievers before returning to the idea of being open and transparent with him in 7:2, "Make room in your hearts of us," and bearing the emotions of his heart.

I have to assume that this isn't just a rabbit trail Paul went on about being yoked with unbelievers, but rather, it's a principle to apply. It just isn't beneficial or even recommended to be completely transparent with non-believers. Be real, not hypocritical, but guard your heart when working and living with unbelievers. 

However with God and with those who you are in covenant relationship (marriage, church, mentorships, friendships, family),  open wide your hearts! These are the people who "are in our hearts, to die together and to live together," Paul says in 7:3. He goes on to use ten descriptors of his emotions: 

boldness (v. 4)
pride (v. 4)
comfort (vv. 4, 6, 13)
affliction(4, 5)
joy (vv. 4, 7, 9, 13, 16)
fighting (v. 5)
fear (v. 5)
downcast (v. 6)
regret (v. 8)
confidence (v. 16)

Paul flings open his heart and what happens? Rejoicing! He mentions joy five times. It is embarrassing, humbling and sometimes painful to be transparent. But there must be joy found it.

My mind returns to the trees getting ready to burst out in glory and joy. They've been sitting exposed and bare for nearly seven months. Only after they've had this time of transparency are they ready to become what God created and intended them to me. This must be true in our own lives. Only after we've been transparent and bared all, can we experience joy and flourish. And it must ongoing. After five months of glory, the trees will again be exposed. Fall will come and their leaves (or make-up) will be stripped away. The seasons remind us to be continually transparent.

Will you choose to bear your true heart and emotions in covenant relationships? It's painful, hard and humbling, but you will experience joy in becoming the beauty God created you to be.

Parallel

Desiring to be sound in my doctrine, I have been contemplating this entry for sometime. I think I got this right. However, to anyone who finds these pages, I welcome any differing viewpoints and understanding of God's Word!

When the engineer and I said "til death separates us" twelve year ago, we meant it. We fully knew we had made a covenant with each other and God and have full intention of keeping it. "..And (he shall) hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh," Genesis 2:24. Two lives become one.
Yet sadly, there was a time we looked at each other and said, I don't want to stay married to you, but because of the promise we made before God; I have to. I remember being so confused during that time. How can I love God so much, yet not want to love my husband?
I once saw a small plaque hanging on a  wall that frequents my memory: "Love is a choice; I love my choice." Sometimes that choice is easier than others. It's harder when the engineer and I are separated by "stuff." Truly, it's easy for the "one flesh" to become two again, running parallel lives.
Webster defines parallel:

(of lines, planes, surfaces, or objects) side by side and having the same distance continuously between them.
"parallel lines never meet."

Even though the engineer and I are both headed in the same direction and have the same goal in mind (Philippians 2:2), the at times distance between us (our parallel lines) is great and we "never meet" as Webster pens it. What causes this distance? What's common may be poor or nonexistent communication (especially during times of busyness or stress), unconfessed resentments and sin. These hinder emotional intimacy. Just as the parallel lines can be near or far, so can husband and wife. At times, the engineer and I find ourselves so far apart, we can't emotionally reach one another. What is amazingly fabulous is when we realize that our parallel lines are needing step toward one another and become one; we take time to communicate, confess frustrations and sin, and intimacy can almost immediately be restored. When intimacy is restored, the joy and blessing of marriage is again experienced and morning breath doesn't smell so pungent anymore.
Our relationship with God can be viewed likewise in some aspects. When we believe in Jesus as God's Son paying the penalty for all our sins on the cross, we have an established relationship with God. Think two lines becoming one. This is similar to establishing a God fearing marriage. (The difference is marriage ends when this temporary life ends and a relationship with God is literally forever.) Although all my sins are forgiven, my sin still separates my from God. Choosing to confess my sins after I commit them is for my own benefit.

Blessed is the one whose transgression is forgiven,
whose sin is covered.
Blessed is the man against whom the Lord counts no iniquity,
and in whose spirit there is no deceit.
For when I kept silent, my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long.
For day and night your hand was heavy upon me;
my strength was dried up as by the heat of summer.
I acknowledged my sin to you, and I did not cover my iniquity.
I said, "I will confess my transgressions to the Lord," and you forgave the iniquity of my sin. Psalm 32:1-5

Confession is for my benefit and blessing. Sin separates me from experiencing intimacy with God. It's like taking a step back from my oneness with God, and walking a parallel line with God. (Note that I move, God does not.) With unconfessed sin, I am separated from God AND experience guilt. When I choose to be transparent, confessing sin, I take a step back toward God to oneness (one line again). This immediately restores my intimacy with God because the sin barrier is removed between us. God established forgiveness when Jesus became my sin and was nailed to the cross. It is my choice to experience forgiveness by confessing my sins consistently.
Take time right now to contemplate what sin you need to confess to God and experience His forgiveness. If you are married, consider your position with your spouse: are you running parallel lives or living in oneness?

Whoever conceals transhgression will not prosper, but he who confesses and forsakes them will obtain mercy.
Blessed is the one who fears the LORD always, but whoever hardens his heart will fall into calamity. Proverbs 28:13-14

Nurture

As my favorite annual gerberia daisy comes to live inside and cold sets in, my quest is that it survive winter and create many happy blossoms again in the spring. How many mornings I walk into the room to see the blooms drooping, in dire need of water.

Isn't our relationship with the Maker like that? Like any other relationship, being friends of Christ takes time. I know time is best spent

• Reading the Word
• Studying the Word
• Meditating on the Word
• Memorizing the Word
• Applying the Word to my life

It seems that if much time passes without any of the above, I begin to wilt like the Gerberia Daisy.

Psalm 119 sings of the sweetness and desirous nature of God's Word and instruction. 

How sweet are Your words to my taste,
Sweeter than honey to my mouth. Psalm 119:103

This morning my plant is in worst state ever, but my relationship with my Maker is solid. Waiting on The Lord during my "drip time," I realize my marriage is also a relationship that needs constant tending to...nurturing. I covet your prayers as the engineer and I work through new obstacles. This new phase of parenting preteens is emotionally exhausting, and I am so selfish desiring time on myself, not on us. Paul's letter to the Philippians convicts me.

So if there is any encouragement in Christ, any comfort from love, any participation in the Spirit, any affection, any sympathy, complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests but also to the interests of others.
Philippians 2:1-4

Selfishness with my time is not honoring to God. Forgive me Lord for not making my covenant with You and the engineer higher priority. With Christ's power, we can overcome!

Make time to read all of Psalm 119 this week and consider your own love and seeking of the Word. Does it measure up to the Psalmists'? Assess your most important relationships (spouse,  siblings, parents, close friends). Which relationships need some nourishing & how will you water, prune and fertilize that relationship?

The Covenant...for Kayla

Every time someone near to my heart gets married I recall a study I did in 2006 called, Wisdom for Mothers by Denise Glenn and how impacting that study was on me spiritually, maternally and maritally. Even today, the application from this study still impacts our families' lives. In this study I learned the symbolic steps of making a covenant relationship and wish to share them with my dear future sister-in-law. I wish I had known the significance of common wedding ceremony rituals when I married the engineer.
Marriage is a blood covenant between a man and woman who choose to become husband and wife. It is the most binding covenant any two people can enter into. Once committed to the only way out of it is by death by one or both of the covenant makers. It is something never to be entered into lightly.
Researching blood covenants, scholars claim there are anywhere between seven to nine steps in making a blood covenant. Not all steps need to be completed but at least two for the covenant to be binding.
Here are the traditional steps in making a blood covenant:
1. The Exchange of Robes

The exchange of robe symbolizes putting on the identity of the covenant partner: "I put on you and you put on me." Traditionally, the couple exchanges rings. Wedding rings are worn to identify that they are married.

2. The Exchange of Weapon Belts

The exchange of weapons is symbolic of the covenant partners defending one another from enemies. A wife is in an covenant with her husband. He is to protect and defend her and she is to protect and defend him. Your husband's biggest enemy if Satan. Your greatest defense is to pray. Ephesians 6:10-20 and 2 Corinthians 10:3-5 are great scriptures to pray for your husband on a regular basis.

3. The Exchange of Vows

This exchange is a formal, solemn, binding vow. It is spoken between the two covenant partners and is permanently binding. When you take your marriage vows before God and witnesses, you enter into a sacred covenant with your husband. 

..if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved. For with the heart one believes and is justified, and with the mouth one confesses and is saved. Romans 10:9-10

This is our verbal vow to God, confessing Him as our Savior out loud which flows out of the heart. Marriage vows too should be a verbal affirmation because of the inner conviction in the heart. 

 4. The Exchange of all belongings when and if needed

This exchange puts everything on the table. What's the wife's is the husbands. What the husband has is now the wife's. All property is now common. However, the greater significance here is each covenant partner giving his strength to the other partner. You will carry your husband when he is weak and he likewise.

5. The Exchange of Names

In marriage, we put on our partner's identity. Traditionally, at the end of the wedding ceremony, the pastor turns to the witnesses and announces the new name of the couple. At that moment, the wife puts on her husband's identity. 

6. The Exchange of Blood

This exchange is the most binding and sacred of all steps. It seals the covenant relationship. In Genesis 15:9-18, we read how Abraham cut the heifer & goat, then prepared them with doves and pigeons as a sacrifice to God. Blood was on the ground, and then God Himself passed through the pieces of flesh, sealing the covenant. He had promised to make Abraham into a great nation.

When you walk down the aisle between two covenanting families, it is for you the aisle of blood covenant. Just as the animals were cut into pieces, your family and your husband's family sit on opposite sides forming an aisle and as you make your way down the aisle, you leave behind your old single life and enter into a new life. It is a walk that will forever change your life. When you arrive at the end of the aisle and take your husbands' hand walking toward the alter, realize that something has died. On every altar there is a sacrifice. You die to singleness, self-centeredness and selfishness. 

Cutting of the cake is symbolic of the cutting of the flesh of the husband and wife's bodies. But the bridal suite is where the actual covenant is cut. When you enter into physical union with your husband, the two of you cut the covenant through the shedding of your blood Your legs form and "aisle" for your husband's body to pass through to cut the covenant.

7. The Covenant Celebration Meal

The celebration meal is a feast to celebrate the union of the covenant partners. It is another symbol of the covenant parties becoming one. It usually consists of bread and wine that signify that the two have become one. Often eating cake (and feeding it to one another) signifies that part of each of us has gone into the other. When you drink wine from a common cup, it indicates that your blood has gone into each other since the life is in the blood, you demonstrate that you have taken each other's lives into yourself.

8. The Mark of the Covenant

This mark becomes a permanent reminder of the union between you and your husband. These are your future children. They will be a constant testamony to the fact that two have become one!

Don't overlook the significance of the wedding ceremony as a permanent covenant between you and your husband. Make a conscience choice to close the backdoor on divorce. There is no way out of the covenant except through death.