I struggle with who I am. I hate the person I am. I don’t like my body, I don’t like those ugly moments of being a mom, when I pierce the heart of tender child. I don’t like who I am as a wife, as a home keeper…I feel so insecure. Then I think about eucharisteo. Thanks. Gifts. Grace. Joy. I want to name them. It’s hard. But, if Christ is in all and through all, then aren’t all those things good? God is always good and even in those things I hate about self, God is in them, I just need to see through the black and choose to see through to the goodness of God, to wait just a little longer because God isn’t finished with me. “We all..are being transformed into the same image of God’s glory by the Spirit of the Lord.” 2 Corinthians 3:18, my paraphrase. So I will name my gifts:
1. All the body
2. Lungs breath in and out
3. Heart beats steadily
4. Strong legs that carry
5. Digestive system working
6. Immune system
7. Metabolism
8. Ribs that protect heart
9. Waist that bends body
10. Hips that carry and bear babies
11. Home
12. Wedding ring
13. Prayer with the engineer
14. Engineer’s navigating skill
15. Engineer’s attention to details
16. Newsies on broadway
17. Strength in the engineer’s arms and legs
18. Unshakeable faith of the engineer
19. Leadership of the engineer
20. Forbearance from the engineer
21. Wise mentor
22. Long hair, brown
23. Fine hair on face
24. Power of God come down when I lack patience
25. Nail polish
26. Fragrance of flowers on trees
27. Flipping on hair around head to flash a smile
28. Dance
29. Popcorn
30. Three girls in one bed
31. Big sister helps little sister spell her name
32. Forgiveness from the compassionate one
33. Detangler
34. Ponytails
35. Braids
36. Couch
37. Thai peanut sauce
38. Roasted veggies
39. Cheese
40. Garlic
41. Eave keeping house dry
42. Pink blossoms on tree
43. Blur of white in gusts across horizon
44. Yellow on wheels
45. Workout dvd in basement
46. Reese pieces
47. Birthday parties
48. Peanut butter eggs
49. Whoppers
50. Star of the week
51. Mrs. Foster
52. Excited small voice reading Old McNoah
53. Jellybean soup
54. Baby
55. Yogurt
56. Berries, red and blue
57. Bananas so sweet
58. Make believe
59. Texting
60. Holy Spirit
61. Oatmeal with apples and banana
62. Sugar & cinnamon on muffin
63. Peanut butter
64. Paper and pen
65. On the Shores of Silver Lake
66. Tall grass bend in wind
67. Drip of rain
68. Run of nose on boisterous face
69. New mittens
70. Holy Word of God
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