One last nugget

There are many ways these days to keep track of your contacts. Strive to keep addresses, phone numbers and email update and in one place. This makes Christmas time and birthday parties easier . I utilize the Address Book on my mac. It automatically syncs with my iPod. Last week, at the post office to mail a package, I could simply grab the address needed from my iPod. Hands down, this beats my old system of printing the contacts from my computer program and carrying them around in a 3-ring binder. However, I still keep that binder, because it's the greatest place to keep my stamps, return address labels, and a few notecards for when I want to drop someone a note.
The introduction of Bill Pay online from most banking websites has made paying bills so much easier (and reduced the need for so many stamps.) It's convenient to pay them in advance and the money transfers on the future date that you determine.
When the mail comes in, have one place set aside to collect it. I like to keep piles. One for bills to be paid, one for pay check stubs that need to be entered into the checking account, one for letters from Compassion kids and one miscellaneous. Once a week, on my calendar, I set aside an hour to sort through these thoroughly. If more time than that lapses, I  risk forgetting about a bill or necessary follow-up.
Take control of you mailbox! Set systems in place to be sure your addresses are organized and bills get paid on-time!

Well to the ways of her household

Every week, schedule shopping into you iCal. (This cannot be normal, but I seem to love shopping so much that even grocery shopping is a highlight to my week.) Although, I don't always enjoy watching the money just go, I have found that getting the monthly (weekly, bi-weekly, however you budget) budgeted amount for grocery and household goods in cash in an envelope has been very helpful to curb overspending. The engineer and I have been faithful Dave Ramsey Financial Peace Graduates for 7+ years now and in his teaching, I learned that studies on the brain showed that people who paid for purchases with a credit or even check card activated the pleasure center of the brain as where paying for purchases with cash activated the pain center of the brain. Try it for yourself, but I am a total believer! Parting with "real money" (cash) is much more painful to me than swiping a card, even if I'm buying milk and toilet paper.
In keeping your life simple, a couple tips on shopping lists. One idea is to have a monthly (or weekly) master shopping list. I used this for years. My list looked like this:

Cleaning
Toilet Cleaner
Clean Shower
Bleach
Household
Air Freshners
Electrosol
Era
Snuggle
Shout!
Charcoal
Lighter Fluid
Garbage Bags
Napkins
Paper Plates
Paper Towels
Toilet Paper
Softener Salt
Hygiene
Bar Soap-Zest
Razors
Shampoo/Conditioner
Toothpaste
Floss
Gel
Hair Spray
Deodorant
Cotton balls
Contact Solution
Wipes
Bath Bubbles
Dairy
Margarine
Yogurt
Eggs
Cottage Cheese
Frozen
Frozen Veggies
Frozen Pizza
Frozen Bread Dough
Baking
Flour – white & wheat
Sugar
Brown Sugar
Powdered Sugar
Chocolate Chips
Oil
Produce
On Sale Fresh Fruit
Potatoes
Green Pepper
Lettuce
Others
OJ
Raisins
Peanut Butter
Mac & Cheese
Spaghetti
Chips
COSTCO
Cheddar Cheese
Mozzarella Cheese
Tortilla Shells
Bananas
Yeast
Milk
Butter 

Each month, I printed this list, crossed out the items we didn't need more of for the coming month and then kept the list with me when I was shopping. Of course printed out, there was room to add to my list special ingredients for recipes and requests from the family.
For a while, I used the app called Grocery iQ. It allowed me to make a list of favorites (this would be my master shopping list), add stores, access online coupons, and more. I still use this to remember what kind of oil to buy for the car and truck, and what size air filter for the furnace/air conditioner.
It was a good app, but because I'm one of "those" couponer and sale-circular shopper, I found it easier to just keep my shopping list and sale items we purchase anyway in notes on my iMail (that syncs to my iPod). It seemed quicker to me to be able to type my list on the computer when I was at home, and while on the go, be able to edit it on my iPod.

Keeping milk and juice in the fridge, healthy & nourishing snacks on hand, and yes, even HelloKitty bandaids in-stock is providing for my family. They may never notice I have them stocked, but they will definitely notice if I don't have the essentials available! Sometimes it's an overwhelming feeling but I stop to trust in God that I'm falling in-line with the example of the Proverbs 31 woman:
¹³ 

She seeks wool and flax,    and works with willing hands. (v. 13)  

She is like the ships of the merchant; she brings her food from afar. (v. 14)

She rises while it is yet night    and provides food for her household    and portions for her maidens.  (v. 15)

She is not afraid of snow for her household,    for all her household are clothed in scarlet. (v. 21)

 She looks well to the ways of her household    and does not eat the bread of idleness. (v. 27)

Decide how you will organize your time and your shopping list in a style that fits you and provides well for your family.

Eat, drink, find enjoyment!

Behold, what I have seen to be good and fitting is to eat and drink and find enjoyment and see good in all the toil with which one toils under the sun the few days of his life that God has given him, for this is his lot. Ecclesiastes 5:18

Although I struggle with enjoying food in excess when I take my eyes off Christ, I am thankful that God gave us food to enjoy! Though I'm not sure how something can be both joy and pain, planning a menu for my family is both. Joy when I'm full of great ideas and creative things to try. Joy when their eyes light up at the phrase, "Mac and Cheese Casserole" but pain when I have no creativity, no plan and hear, "Mom, can you not make this again. It's not my favorite." However, it is part of my job as a worker at home. (Which, overall, I do love.)
Over the years I'm learned and tried different methods of approach to menu planning: Monthly menu plans, weekly planning and a 3-week rotation. If you are new to menu planning and the kitchen seems daunting, the 3-week rotation is perhaps the best place to begin.
On average, we eat the same foods about every three weeks. So with the 3-week plan, you gather your typical recipes plot them out in a 3-week rotation. Along with this, it is handy to have a corresponding grocery list for these recipes.
For years, with young toddlers, I liked doing monthly menu planning. Set aside at least 1-hour to make a list of  15-20 meals to be served in the calendar month. I found this allowed for consuming all the leftovers, eating out and of course, ordering in pizza. (In our home, I typically only make the evening dinner meal--with enough leftovers to pack for a lunch the next day--so if you make lunches or full breakfasts, you'd have to add the total menu ideas.) Make a corresponding grocery list and stock the pantry. Then as you go through the month, every day you can decide what's for dinner that night. I even kept my monthly list from year to year because what we eat typically corresponds to what foods are in season and on sale during various times of the year. This made the task less daunting after the first year because I could use most of the same menu ideas the next year. 
Currently, I create a weekly menu plan based on sale items and favorite recipes that appear on my favorite food blog, www.budgetbytes.blogspot.com. I have "Menu" on my iCal as reoccurring event at 6pm. When I plan my menus, I simply type in the menu item on each event and then add necessary grocery items to my shopping list. (More on shopping lists next week.)
Everyone is different, but for me, I am paralyzed without a plan. If I have a plan, I can easily get in motion, i.e. thaw & marinate meat, prep the veggies, load up the crockpot in the morning when we have a busy day, etc.
What tips can you share in regards to menu planning? Do you have a favorite app to share? Decide today to start menu planning and save yourself mucho bucks (and calories) by not eating out as much and save yourself the stress of 5:30pm and frozen chicken!

Your steps

The invention of iCal and the "Cloud" have changed for the better my monthly calendar. I recall the days of printing out each week and posting it on the refrigerator. While that was good for my family to see what was coming for the week and each day, I like the idea of using less paper and just sharing necessary agenda items with them by "inviting" them to an event.
I've also heard of families successfully utilizing google calendars to share one common calendar. We just never got on that wagon.
My iCal is my lifeline because if I don't write something down, I won't remember it. Just this morning, the calculating one pulls out my iPod and starts reading my calendar for the day.
"Breakfast 7 AM, Verse of the Day with girls 7:15AM, Preschool 9AM..." Yes, that's right we haven't been doing Verse of the Day at breakfast. Out comes the Air1 app and their Verse of the Day. (Seems you have to read your iCal for it to be useful...)
I also love using different calendars. I have a calendar for each family member, menus, auto maintenance  (where I keep track of miles and when oil changes are due), garden produce, birthday and anniversaries. I remind myself to renew library books, change the air filter in the furnace and it's essentially where I keep my daily focus because each item is an event in the day.
God wants us to plan and allowing Him direct our steps.

The heart of a man plans his way
but the Lord establishes his steps. Proverbs 16:9

Many are the plans of a person's heart
but it the the Lord's purpose that prevails. Proverbs 19:21

Often when I'm not sure what order to do things in or how everything is going to get accomplished, I pray, "God direct my steps today." And later in the day when things don't go quite like I had anticipated, I say, "Thanks God for showing us the way to go. It's not what I thought, but it's good. It's your way."

Trust in the Lord with all your heart
and rely not on your own understanding.
In all your ways acknowledge Him
and He will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5-6

Decide the best way for you to keep track of you calendar in a organized fashion. If you have a great idea to share, post it in the comments. We can all learn from each other. Keeping a calendar will add peace to your home!

A peaceful home starts with a plan

Contemplating how to be a Titus 2 woman, I'm simmering on verse 2: be "working at home." Whether you work outside the home or not, a woman has work to do at home.
When you read of the Proverbs 31 woman, the listing of her tasks is dizzying! From shopping, to fashioning, trading, to serving the needy, the woman of this Proverb has a full plate. But notice verses 27-29:

She looks well to the ways of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
Her children rise up and call her blessed;
her husband also, and her praises her:
"Many women have done excellently, but you surpass them all."

This woman, worth more than precious jewels, is a worker at home, looking out for her entire household. She is not "sitting around watching Oprah and eating bonbons." What I infer is that if her family thinks so highly of her, they must feel peacefulness in their home; lack of worry and fear. This woman is wise and her family doesn't fear the future.
James is a book of Christian lifestyle application and I was struck in my studying this past week regarding wisdom:

Earthly wisdom wich is unspiritual and demonic, motivated by jealousy (keeping up the the Jones') and seeking it's own way, will yield a life of disorder, chaos and evil. But the wisdom from God is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good consequences, doesn't show favoritism and is sincere. This godly wisdom will yield a life of righteousness because it is sown in peace by those who make peace. (James 3:15-18, my paraphrase)

Do you see the contrast of a home marked by chaos and a home marked by peace? Part of our job as workers at home is to sow peace into our home. For me this peaceable home begins with a plan. Years ago, I was taught how to keep a focus notebook. My application has shifted with technology. Six years ago, a Focus Notebook meant hauling around a 1" binder wherever you went...with the invent of smart phones and iPods, we can make our load much lighter and smaller. We'll uncover five topics

1. Daily Focus
2. Calendars
3. Menu Planning
4. Shopping
5. Addresses and Mail.

Today, I'll start with the Daily Focus. This is meant to help prioritize time. Every day of the week, you set to accomplish a list (no more than five things) that are a priority for that day. If nothing else is accomplished, these will be. And when they are accomplished, if you have time left over, you can do other tasks or things you enjoy. Everyone has different priorities. I remember that gal who taught me this saying (to a room of young moms), "If it's a priority that you get a nap every day, then put a nap on every day's focus." This way of organizing your time, will not allow tasks to become "long over due." (Like mildew growing in the bathroom.) It also allows you to focus on the important, yet not urgent things in life (because you've completed them before they became urgent).
Here's an example of my Daily Focus:

Monday

Run 30 minutes - squats, lunges & abs
Preschool
Menu Plan with Coupon Clipping and make Grocery List
Wipe down Kitchen
Laundry 

Tuesday 

Walk/Bike 40 minutes - triceps, biceps & abs
Preschool
Clean windows & dust
Blog 

Wednesday 

Run 30 minutes - shoulders, back & abs
Preschool
Shopping
Intentional discipling girls 

Thursday 

Walk/Bike 40 minutes - squats, lunges & abs
Quicken/budget/bills
Community Bible Study 

Friday 

Run 30 minutes - triceps, biceps & abs
Vacuum & Mop
Clean bathrooms
Storytime
Laundry 

Saturday 

I like to leave this day open...in case something comes up.

It's also a good idea to stop every now and then and have a good "think." (A concept I borrow from a Billings mentor, Ann Streeter.) You know how Pooh bear would just stop and think? So should we stop and think about how things work (or don't) and adjust according to try accomplish our goals.
Begin today to make a list of the things you need to accomplish on a weekly basis and place each item to be accomplished on one day. Remember to leave Sunday (or the day of your choosing) blank so that you are obedient in observing a sabbath. Also, if you have an app that you find aids you in your Daily Focus, share it by placing a comment below.

The Covenant...for Kayla

Every time someone near to my heart gets married I recall a study I did in 2006 called, Wisdom for Mothers by Denise Glenn and how impacting that study was on me spiritually, maternally and maritally. Even today, the application from this study still impacts our families' lives. In this study I learned the symbolic steps of making a covenant relationship and wish to share them with my dear future sister-in-law. I wish I had known the significance of common wedding ceremony rituals when I married the engineer.
Marriage is a blood covenant between a man and woman who choose to become husband and wife. It is the most binding covenant any two people can enter into. Once committed to the only way out of it is by death by one or both of the covenant makers. It is something never to be entered into lightly.
Researching blood covenants, scholars claim there are anywhere between seven to nine steps in making a blood covenant. Not all steps need to be completed but at least two for the covenant to be binding.
Here are the traditional steps in making a blood covenant:
1. The Exchange of Robes

The exchange of robe symbolizes putting on the identity of the covenant partner: "I put on you and you put on me." Traditionally, the couple exchanges rings. Wedding rings are worn to identify that they are married.

2. The Exchange of Weapon Belts

The exchange of weapons is symbolic of the covenant partners defending one another from enemies. A wife is in an covenant with her husband. He is to protect and defend her and she is to protect and defend him. Your husband's biggest enemy if Satan. Your greatest defense is to pray. Ephesians 6:10-20 and 2 Corinthians 10:3-5 are great scriptures to pray for your husband on a regular basis.

3. The Exchange of Vows

This exchange is a formal, solemn, binding vow. It is spoken between the two covenant partners and is permanently binding. When you take your marriage vows before God and witnesses, you enter into a sacred covenant with your husband. 

..if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved. For with the heart one believes and is justified, and with the mouth one confesses and is saved. Romans 10:9-10

This is our verbal vow to God, confessing Him as our Savior out loud which flows out of the heart. Marriage vows too should be a verbal affirmation because of the inner conviction in the heart. 

 4. The Exchange of all belongings when and if needed

This exchange puts everything on the table. What's the wife's is the husbands. What the husband has is now the wife's. All property is now common. However, the greater significance here is each covenant partner giving his strength to the other partner. You will carry your husband when he is weak and he likewise.

5. The Exchange of Names

In marriage, we put on our partner's identity. Traditionally, at the end of the wedding ceremony, the pastor turns to the witnesses and announces the new name of the couple. At that moment, the wife puts on her husband's identity. 

6. The Exchange of Blood

This exchange is the most binding and sacred of all steps. It seals the covenant relationship. In Genesis 15:9-18, we read how Abraham cut the heifer & goat, then prepared them with doves and pigeons as a sacrifice to God. Blood was on the ground, and then God Himself passed through the pieces of flesh, sealing the covenant. He had promised to make Abraham into a great nation.

When you walk down the aisle between two covenanting families, it is for you the aisle of blood covenant. Just as the animals were cut into pieces, your family and your husband's family sit on opposite sides forming an aisle and as you make your way down the aisle, you leave behind your old single life and enter into a new life. It is a walk that will forever change your life. When you arrive at the end of the aisle and take your husbands' hand walking toward the alter, realize that something has died. On every altar there is a sacrifice. You die to singleness, self-centeredness and selfishness. 

Cutting of the cake is symbolic of the cutting of the flesh of the husband and wife's bodies. But the bridal suite is where the actual covenant is cut. When you enter into physical union with your husband, the two of you cut the covenant through the shedding of your blood Your legs form and "aisle" for your husband's body to pass through to cut the covenant.

7. The Covenant Celebration Meal

The celebration meal is a feast to celebrate the union of the covenant partners. It is another symbol of the covenant parties becoming one. It usually consists of bread and wine that signify that the two have become one. Often eating cake (and feeding it to one another) signifies that part of each of us has gone into the other. When you drink wine from a common cup, it indicates that your blood has gone into each other since the life is in the blood, you demonstrate that you have taken each other's lives into yourself.

8. The Mark of the Covenant

This mark becomes a permanent reminder of the union between you and your husband. These are your future children. They will be a constant testamony to the fact that two have become one!

Don't overlook the significance of the wedding ceremony as a permanent covenant between you and your husband. Make a conscience choice to close the backdoor on divorce. There is no way out of the covenant except through death.

Start with you

A life of service begins by focusing on yourself. That's a dangerous statement. It doesn't sound biblical. We're taught things like the acronym for joy:

Jesus
Others
Yourself

and Jesus himself said that "the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many," (Matthew 20:28). We are called to serve, but service should come as a natural reaction from the healthy heart. Unless your heart is focused on Christ, you can't serve with right motivation.

Even Jesus, the ultimate Servant, made His relationship with the Father His first priority. Before He began His public ministry, He spent 40 days in the desert fasting and worshipping the Father. Amidst His ministry, He took time to rest, get away and spend time with the Father. Why would we as wives, mothers, friends and servants not follow that example?

Time with God allows us to examine our hearts and love ourselves so we can love others. Jesus taught that the first and greatest commandment is to love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your mind and with all your soul. The second is to love your neighbor as yourself (Matthew 22:37-40). First love God. Second, you will realize your worth and from that you will be able to love others. Do you see the inference that to love your neighbor as yourself, you must first love yourself?

Furthermore, Jesus taught that we can't lead and serve others unless we have our hearts right before Him. 

Why do you see the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' when there is the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye. Matthew 7:3-5

It is impossible for me to lead my goldenheads and walk in faith with the engineer if I am not constantly examining my own heart. Time with God allows me to do this. Just last week, I felt this constant heaviness, ugliness, downcast spirit. I was a horrible wife and mother. Unpleasant. I spent much time wrestling with God, begging, why is my Spirit heavy within me? In that wrestling, God revealed to me unrepented sin of slander toward the engineer. As this was revealed and confessed, the weight was lifted and I felt like I could once again be in intimate relationship with the engineer and lead my goldenheads in example of my daily living.

In my spiritual maturing, it has been my challenge, to spend more time with God in the Word, study and prayer (which makes my heart beautiful) than time spent on outward appearance. I strive to spend more time with God than time spend in my workout, fixing hair and makeup. I love the story of Samuel anointing the little shepherd boy David as king. David was least likely of his brothers to become king but God said to Samuel, 

For the LORD sees not as man sees; man looks on the outward appearance, but the LORD looks on the heart. I Samuel 16:7.

Take time to evaluate the quality and quantity of time you spend seeking your Maker. If the scales are not tipped toward time spent with Him but rather on outward appearance, begin making small changes in your routine to even out the scales. If the scale is mostly even, strive to make the time seeking Him even more weighty. There is no greater priority than to seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things (inner and outward beauty) will be added unto you (Matthew 6:33.)