Opened

I've journaled repeatedly how pivotal choosing a life style of gratitude has been to me: choosing to thank God's for each gracious gift that brings joy. Reading Ann Voskamp's, One Thousand Gifts opened my eyes to this truth that is constantly revealed in scripture. In Luke, Jesus walks with Cleopas and another disciple on the road to Emmaus after the resurrection. These men walked with Jesus, were taught by Jesus, probably touched Jesus, they were with Jesus, but they didn't know it was Him until Jesus "took bread, blessed and broke it, and gave it to them. Then their eyes were opened and they knew Him," (Luke 24:30-31). Giving thanks opened their eyes to see Jesus.
Yesterday, we found out that quite soon our nephew Micah will go meet Jesus. How God made Micah is so amazing and wonderful, the doctors can't figure it out, so it's time for Jesus to restore Micah in heaven. It's a whirl of emotions, I can't imagine being the parent in this situation, it's heart-wrenching enough being the aunt and sister. But when despair gets too great, I have stopped myself to think...this is the hard eucharisteo, the hard thanksgiving, but I know it's there. Much for which to give thanks. I begin a mental list...pictures with Micah the night before he got really ill, his love for root beer, living in Minnesota now instead of being 12 hours away in Montana... Then I recall the passage in Luke. Giving thanks opened the disciples' eyes to see Jesus. When we ask why (just as the disciples were asking why Jesus had to be crucified), we can't see Jesus in the midst of our pain of losing Micah. When we list each of God's gifts, we see Jesus, our hope. I feel led to begin at one:

1. Having the "Sechler Seven" around my table the night prior
2. Pictures that turned out
3. Micah throwing his spiral with his mom
4. Micah getting his wish from Make A Wish
5. Micah excited about his really good book and A&W
6. Talking "normal life" with my sister
7. Traci taking over in my kitchen
8. Light on the pumpkin pumpkin bars for dessert so Micah can have one
9. Mike & the engineer laughing at how similar Traci & I are
10. Living in Minnesota
11. Quoting "When I am afraid, I will trust in You" Psalm 56:3 when I had a missed call from Mike and the calm that followed
12. The compassionate one praying for the Sechler family while we waited to leave school
13. The golden heads reaching out to comfort mom...holding my hand, hugs, rubbing my back and arm
14. The engineer knowing to go be with family
15. Safe travel to and from Litchfield
16. Laughing about the boisterous one's "opinions"
17. "Grandpa Leon is here?" followed by a big smile
18. Being with family
19. Peacefullness exuded by Mike and Traci
20. The new digital camera arriving
21. Hospice nurse
22. Kids Club that the cousins got to go to
23. Sitting alongside Micah
24. Traci talking about the Big Big House Micah's going to
25. All the good food Micah will soon get to eat: Mountain Dew, chocolate, pizza with lots of cheese...
26. Dad and Lucas being finished in the field
27. The engineer playing Mario Kart with his nephews
28. The sweet sound of cousins playing
29. Rebekah asking for a tray to play house with all the cousins
30. Coffee and caffeine in general
31. Getting Abi-girl ready for bed
32. Singing and praying alongside Micah before we left
33. Kissing Micah's head
34. Christian Music
35. "While I'm Waiting" by John Waller on the radio
36. God directing steps
37. No school for the golden heads the next few days
38. Mercies new every morning
39. "Break Open the Sky" on the drive...tears streaming down
40. Good Music to lift us up
41. Mike's silly smile and quirks despite the grief--makes him, him
42. The boisterous one playing play dough with Abigail
43. Abigail's big smile
44. The engineer being girl-trapped 5 times over
45. Mike taking a picture of it
46. Caleb being excited about XBox and needing another controller
47. An abundance of goodies to choose from
48. Mom's goey lazy day bars
49. Holding Rebekah for a long snuggle
50. Talking with dad on the phone
51. Sharing memories of Micah
52. "Brother, let's make a deal"
53. "I got a booger"
54. Remembering the Amazing Race
55. Seeing pictures on Facebook of Micah
56. Being with family
57. Giving fun gifts...Keurig
58. More pieces for the game room delivered
59. Seeing each golden head as a bit more precious...a gift on loan
60. Kisses stolen while the golden heads sleep
61. Shopping as therapy
62. Being 2 hours from Litchfield
63. Toby Mac tee
64. Cousins playing outside without shoes on
65. Dad processing grief through the truth of scripture
66. Cuddling with Caleb
67. The compassionate one giving up to so Abigail could have a gift bag
68. Daniel's servant heart - bringing his computer
69. Pictures
70. Photo albums
71. Lori
72. Amazing attitudes of our golden heads 
73. Micah's thankfulness journal
74. Micah's letter to Rebekah
75. A face to face visit with Lori
76. Hugs
77. Seeing extended family
78. Watching Traci & Mike worship
79. And Abigail too!
80. Rootbeer Keg
81. Pizza
82. Visit with Ashley
83. A huge real hug from Traci
84. Vacation for the Sechlers
85. ...